She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law is an American television miniseries created by Jessica Gao for the streaming service Disney+, based on the Marvel Comics featuring the character Jennifer Walters / She-Hulk, cousin of Dr. Bruce Banner / The Hulk.

A Normal Amount of Rage [1.01][edit]

Jennifer Walters: My theory. Steve Rogers did not have a girlfriend before he went into the service.
Bruce Banner: Says who?
Jennifer Walters: The History Channel. So he becomes Captain America. And from that moment on, a symbol of America. He is rushed to the front lines. He becomes a war hero. Then he is frozen in ice. So based on everything you've told me, after he gets unfrozen, he goes from world-threatening disaster to world-threatening disaster. That's when he's not a fugitive from the law, right? So it seems like he was pretty, pretty busy.
Bruce Banner: All you're doing is repeating everything that I've already told you about my friend and colleague.
Jennifer Walters: Obviously, Captain America was a virgin.

Jennifer Walters: I thought the point was to prevent me from turning into a Hulk.
Smart Hulk: These transformations are triggered by distressed, emotional sates. So we need to know the exact threshold that causes it for you. The triggers are anger and fear.
Jennifer Walters: Those are like the baseline of any woman just existing.
Smart Hulk: Alright, then let's try this.
[He presses a button which unleashes a wall of saws inside the chamber with Jennifer.]
Jennifer Walters: Bruce! It kinda feels like if I don't transform, I'm gonna die! Do you have a plan B for that?
Smart Hulk: Ha, nope.
Jennifer Walters: "No"? Ah! Not funny, Bruce! [She tears off the helmet on her head] What? You're just gonna kill me? Come on!
Smart Hulk: Put on the helmet, we need the data!
[The wall of saws come even closer]
Jennifer Walters: [eyes bulging in fear] WHAT DO YOU NORMALLY USE THIS CHAMBER FOR, YOU PSYCHOPATH?!
[She covers her eyes; suddenly two very large green arms smash the wall and pushes it back where it started. Jennifer has successfully Hulked out.]
Smart Hulk: [thumbs up] Yes! Yes. Yes.
[She-Hulk growls and turns towards the door, tearing it loose]
Smart Hulk: No! No!
[He backs away as She-Hulk breaks free from the chamber and approaches him, roaring angrily]
Smart Hulk: Easy, girl! Easy! Easy.
[Suddenly, the rage and anger disappear from She-Hulk's face]
She-Hulk: Why are you talking to me like I'm a stray horse?

[Smart Hulk wakes Jennifer up with an air horn. She turns into her Hulk form, wrecking the bed.]
Jennifer Walters: [upset] Jeez! What the hell, man!
Smart Hulk: You're still in control? No overwhelming feelings of rage?
Jennifer Walters: No, a normal amount of rage!!
Smart Hulk: You do revert back to Jen form when you sleep.
Jennifer Walters: Was the air horn really necessary?
Smart Hulk: [amused] For comedy, absolutely.

[mid-credit scene; Jennifer is commiserating about her theory with Smart Hulk]
Jennifer Walters: [tearfully] It's just so sad. Steve Rogers did so much for his country and he never got to experience sex. [continues sobbing] Did you see that ass? Like, that ass did not [sobs] deserve to die a virgin. It's, like, so sad.
[Jennifer gulps down a large drink]
Smart Hulk: [sighs] Steve Rogers is not a virgin. He lost his virginity to a girl in 1943 on the USO tour.
[Jennifer puts down her drink]
Jennifer Walters: [brightening, smiles] Yes! I KNEW IT!
Smart Hulk: You're not drunk?
Jennifer Walters: CAPTAIN AMERICA FU--

Superhuman Law [1.02][edit]

Courtroom witness: This chick -- pretty decent -- turned into a Hulk, like, like a Chick-Hulk.
TV reporter: [facing the camera] A She-Hulk?
Courtroom witness: [faces the camera and points] Exactly.

Morris Walters: That Hawkeye guy. What happens to those arrows of his? I mean, does he go around and collect them when he's done?

The People vs. Emil Blonsky [1.03][edit]

Is This Not Real Magic? [1.04][edit]

Mean, Green, and Straight Poured into These Jeans [1.05][edit]

Just Jen [1.06][edit]

The Retreat [1.07][edit]

Ribbit and Rip it [1.08][edit]

Whose Show is This? [1.09][edit]

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: