Amanda: My friend Nolan told me this thing about men and sex, that they think about it 238 times a day and when they do, they adjust their belts.
Tom: That's ridiculous. No, no. Not the belt-- I meant the amount. That's ridiculous. Do the math I'm awake maybe 17 hours a day. Times 60 would be 1020, divided by 238. That would be sex about every 4 minutes... Yeah, yeah. That's about right.
Amanda: I've been here 20 minutes.
Tom: I think I've loved you since that first day in the market.
Amanda: You mean the day I had my hand up your pants? Men are so easy.
Tom: Oh yeah.
Tom: I love shoes.
Brian in Shoes: Me too, Mr. Bartlett.
Tom: I love how we sell shoes. I love how we sell them in twos, it's so... Noah's Ark!
Tom: She cursed me. She said in this creepy little voice, a man's character is his destiny...
Lois: Oh... She's a wise witch. She casts her spells in proverbs.
Amanda: That's impossible.
Tom: Why's that?
Amanda: One good sexual thought takes at least 20 minutes.
Tom: Very bold plate selection, I might add. Explains the outlift.
Amanda: To eliminate a necklace would've taken another half hour.
Tom: I see.
Amanda: Doesn't look like it takes you very long.
Tom: Touché. I do seem to come out of the shower fully dressed in a blue suit.