Sixteen Candles is a 1984 comedy about a young girl's "sweet sixteenth" birthday that becomes anything but special as she suffers from every embarrassment possible. The film is often credited with the beginning of the Brat Pack film movement.
- Written and directed by John Hughes.
- I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.
- I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek.
- Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life and I'm like a disease.
- Wease, we've got seventy dollars and a pair of girl's underpants. We're safe as kittens.
Long Duk Dong
- No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food!
- Oh, sexy girlfriend!
- What's happenin' hot stuff?
- Jim Baker: That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else.
- Jake Ryan: I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. Is that psycho?
- Ginny Baker: I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I've had men who've loved me before, but not for six months in a row.
- Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.
- Grandpa Fred: [chuckles] I better go get my magnifying glass.
- Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so perky.
- [Grandma Helen reaches to cup them]
- Samantha: [cut to Sam's bedroom] I can't believe my Grandmother actually felt me up.
- Ginny: Darling, is something bothering you? You're really acting like... an asshole. And I think I know what it is. I think you're jealous that I'm getting married and that I'm getting all the attention.
- Samantha: You know, everybody in this family has just gone totally Outer Limits.
- Ginny: No, Sam, I think you're just being a little selfish and immature.
- Samantha: Oh, yes, that's it. That's exactly it. [storms out]
- Ginny: [to herself] Unbelievable. You make someone a bridesmaid and they shit all over you.
- The Geek: Just answer me one question.
- Samantha: Yes, you're a total fag.
- The Geek: Ha ha ha. That's not the question. [pauses] Am I turning you on?
- The Geek: So, I mean, what's your story? I mean, you got a guy, or...?
- Samantha: Yes, three big ones, and they lust wimp blood, so quit bugging me or I'll sic them all over your weenie ass.
- 'The Geek: You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile. I mean, it's...
- Samantha: Go to hell.
- The Geek: VERY hostile!
- Samantha: You know, just now I really felt how much you like me.
- The Geek: You're probably zoning in on my brain waves or something.
- Samantha: Well, not really. I felt it on my leg.
- The Geek: I know I came on kinda like a poser on the bus tonight and everything. But... that's just so my friends won't think, you know, I'm a jerk.
- Samantha: But they're all pretty much jerks, though, aren't they?
- The Geek: Yeah, but, the thing is, I'm kinda like the leader, you know? Kinda like the king of the dipshits.
- Samantha: Well, that's pretty cool. Hey, but a lot can happen over a year. I mean, you could come back next Fall as a completely normal person.
- The Geek: [about Samantha] She's cranked for you. I told her you asked about her, right? The girl freaked. She had a hissy. She thinks you're the cat's meow!
- Jake: Really? She came up to me in the gym tonight. She looked at me like I was a leper.
- The Geek: Girls will do that, Jake. You know? They know that guys are like in perpetual heat, right? They know we shit, and they enjoy pumping us up. It's pure power politics, I'm telling you.
- Jake: I thought she hated my guts.
- The Geek: Games, Jake. Silly torturous games. You know how many times I've gone without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Any halfway decent girl can rob me - blind! Because I'm too torqued up to say no. It's heinous, I'm telling you.
- Jake: You better not be dicking me around. It'd be a major downer to try and get together with this girl and find out that she really does think I'm a slime.
- The Geek: Jake, would I dick you? Let me put it to you this way: what happens to me if I dick you?
- Jake: Heh, I'd kick your ass.
- The Geek: Right! So why would I lie? But I feel compelled to mention to you, Jake, that if all you want of the girl is a piece of ass, I mean, I'll either do it myself, or get someone bigger than me to kick your ass. I mean, not many girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me.
- Jake: I can get a piece of ass anytime I want. Shoot, I've got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to.
- The Geek: [almost chokes on a pretzel] What are you waiting for?
- Jake: I'll make a deal with you. [about Samantha's panties] You let me keep these, I'll let you take Caroline home. But you gotta make sure she gets home, you can't leave her in some parking lot. Okay?
- The Geek: Jake, I'm only a freshman.
- Jake: So, she's so blitzed she won't know the difference.
- The Geek: Jake, I don't have a car.
- Jake: You can take mine.
- The Geek: Jake, I don't have a license.
- Jake: I trust you.
- The Geek: This is your car, Jake?
- Jake: No, this is my dad's car. You said you can't drive a stick.
- The Geek: This is a mother-FUCKI... this is a Rolls Royce, Jake.
- Jake: So?
- The Geek: So? So? I heard the grill alone costs five grand on this. Five grand! Do you have five grand? I don't have five grand.
- Jake: Then don't hit anything.
- The Geek: [incredulous] Ha ha! Don't hit anything.
- The Geek: Jake is your dad a big man, or...?
- Jake: Oh, about 6'4".
- The Geek: Very nice.
- The Geek: [as Caroline is slapping him awake] Damn Mom, I've got my headgear on!
- Caroline: [annoyed] Will you wake up?
- The Geek: [opens eyes] Where the hell am I?
- Caroline: I'll, uh, tell you where you are, if you tell me who you are.
- The Geek: I'm Farmer Ted.
- Caroline: You're in the parking lot across the street from my church.
- The Geek: You own a church?
- Samantha: Thanks for getting my undies back.
- Jake: Thanks for coming over.
- Samantha: Thanks for coming to get me.
- Jake: Happy birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.
- Samantha: It already came true. [they kiss]
About Sixteen Candles
- ̈ I think one of the reasons my movies have held up so well for as long as they have is that I've always tried to be true to my memories of the experience and show that on film. At the time I came along, Hollywood's idea of teen movies meant there had to be a lot of nudity, usually involving boys in pursuit of sex, and pretty gross overall. Either that or a horror movie. And the last thing Hollywood wanted in their teen movies was teenagers! I mean, look at them - it was all 25-year-olds in those movies. When I did Sixteen Candles, all the extras, the kids on the bus and in the gym, they were all real freshmen boys and girls from the same high school. (Anthony) Michael Hall was a freshman, the sixteen-year-olds were actual sixteen-year-olds, except for Molly, who was a year younger. You may not realize it now, but it had never really happened before, for very simple reasons: it's more expensive and harder to use kids. You only have four hours a day to shoot because of labor laws, but the results were worth it, I think.
- John Hughes 
- It's the time of your life that may last a lifetime.
- When you're just sixteen anything can happen!
- Molly Ringwald - Samantha Baker
- Michael Schoeffling - Jake Ryan
- Haviland Morris - Caroline Mulford
- Gedde Watanabe - Long Duk Dong
- Anthony Michael Hall - The Geek
- Justin Henry - Mike Baker
- Paul Dooley - Jim Baker
- Carlin Glynn - Brenda Baker
- Blanche Baker - Ginny Baker
- Edward Andrews - Howard Baker
- Billie Bird - Dorothy Baker
- Carole Cook - Grandma Helen
- Max Showalter - Grandpa Fred
- Liane Alexandra Curtis - Randy
- John Cusack - Bryce
- Deborah Pollack - Marlene, aka "Lumberjack"
- Darren Harris - Cliff
- Joan Cusack - Geek Girl #1
- Brian Doyle-Murray - Reverend at Wedding
- Jami Gertz - Robin
- John Kapelos - Rudy Ryszczyk
- Zelda Rubinstein - Organist