Sluggy Freelance is a webcomic by Pete Abrams started on August 25, 1997.
- 1 Chapter 1: Is It Not Nifty
- 2 Chapter 2: The Sci-Fi Adventure
- 3 Chapter 3: Holiday Seasons
- 4 Chapter 4: The Slug-Files
- 5 Chapter 5: Valerie
- 6 Chapter 6: Torg Goes to Hell
- 7 Chapter 7: Summer Vacation
- 8 Chapter 8: Vampires
- 9 Chapter 9: Return of the Holiday Seasons
- 10 Chapter 10: K'Z'K
- 11 Chapter 11: Mecha Easter Bunny
- 12 Chapter 14: The Storm Breaker Saga
- 13 Chapter 15: The Isle of Doctor Steve
- 14 Chapter 19: K I T T E N
- 15 Chapter 21: The Hunt
- 16 Chapter 22; The Bug, The Witch and The Robot
- 17 Chapter 23: Spring in the Air
- 18 Chapter 26: Changes
- 19 Chapter 27: Fire and Rain
- 20 Chapter 29: Books
- 21 Chapter 30: Dangerous Days Ahead
- 22 Chapter 31: Torg Potter and the Sorceror's Nuts
- 23 Chapter 32: Scary Chapter
- 24 Chapter 34: Kesandru's Well
- 25 Chapter 36: Chamberpot of Secretions
- 26 Chapter 38: Holiday Wars: Thanksgiving
- 27 Chapter 39: Holiday Wars: Christmas
- 28 Chapter 40: Boys' Night Out
- 29 Chapter 42: That Which Redeems
- 30 Chapter 43: That Which Redeems II
- 31 Chapter 45: Oceans Unmoving
- 32 Chapter 48: Oceans Unmoving II
- 33 External links
Chapter 1: Is It Not Nifty
- Torg: Let's see how Riff makes use of the internet!
- Riff: I'm trying to summon the devil on-line.
- Torg:Wouldn't it be easier to just e-mail him?
- Riff:Yes! Spam satan! - 25 August 1997
- Zoë: Aw, what a cute bunny!
- Bun-bun: You are in my spot, toots. I'm going to have to hurt you on principle. - 26 September 1997
Chapter 2: The Sci-Fi Adventure
- Pseudo Star-Fleet Officer: I'm sorry we cannot help you get home to your dimension. We have a pressing mission to get cough-syrup to a dying planet. - 5 October 1997
Chapter 3: Holiday Seasons
- Zoë: Can you believe that pompous jerk? What a...
- Sam: I'm still here, putting on my jacket on, haven't left the room yet! Almost... - 5 November 1997
Chapter 4: The Slug-Files
- Sam: (on Torg) I'm going to set him up on a date...
- Kiki: Yes, a date! Torg will be happy, you will be free to chase Zoë, everyone wins! And you stay good!
- Sam: …a date with someone I met on the internet!
- Kiki: Noooo Sam! Don't plan Torg's death! Stay good, Sam! - 3 January 1998
Chapter 5: Valerie
- Riff: I forgot Sam was so in love with Zoë! If he never made it to her place, he's probably dead.
- Torg: I forgot Sam set me up on that blind date. If he's alive, he's dead!
- Bun-Bun: I forgot I killed Sam! He's definitely dead! - 24 March 1998
- Riff: I was a little worried. Kiki is very curious and I have lots of dangerous inventions around my apartment.
- Torg: You're not worried any more? (A device sticks out of the wall of Riff's apartment)
- Riff: Nah, life's too short to waste worrying about the inevitable. (smoke rises from Riff's window) - 5 April 1998
- Torg: I don't know what scares me more. The thought of having an affair with Val, or the fact that I derive my morals from tabloid talkshows. - 26 April 1998
Chapter 6: Torg Goes to Hell
- Horribus: Welcome to the Dimension of Pain!
- Torg: Thanks! Can I use your restroom?
- Horribus: Nope. - 28 April 1998
- Torg: Only MY Bun-bun would kick my ass for trying to give him a hug!
- Riff: And only OUR Torg would be dumb enough to use that as a gauge for whether he's home or not! - 17 May 1998
Chapter 7: Summer Vacation
- Zoë: "Mom, I couldn't study for finals because I had to help rescue a friend from hell, and send his body double to another dimension."
- Riff: She won't buy it? - 2 June 1998
- Torg: With my secretary encased in a cocoon, I can't get a lot done.
- Riff: And I don't have to worry about saving the world from an alien invasion now.
- Zoë: And with the prophecy fulfilled, the comets won't destroy the earth for weeks.
- Torg, Riff and Zoë: IT'S SUMMER VACATION TIME!
- Torg and Riff: Comets?
- Zoë: School is out and the office is closed, but that sounded too dull compared to you guys. - 18 June 1998
- Zoë: (about staying with Bun-bun) This is cruel and unusual punishment!
- Bun-bun: Yup, I'm both! - 26 June 1998
- Zoë: I think of Torg as a friend, a brother. My desire to punch Val in the head is more like a hobby. - 27 August 1998
Chapter 8: Vampires
- Zoë: I don't believe this! Just when I think we might be having a nice, ordinary issue to deal with, like adultery, you come in screaming about vampires! What happened to normal problems, like credit-card debt?
- Riff: The undead always pay their balances off in full. - 2 September 1998
- Torg: Wow! When you become a vampire, men become broad shouldered and muscle-bound and women become tall and thin! You ever think of selling this on QVC?
- Lysinda: Foolish mortal... Do you really think humanity would give up its immortal soul just to look good?
- [Both look at audience.]
- Lysinda: Sylvia...
- Sylvia: "Infomercials next quarter", check. - 27 September 1998
Chapter 9: Return of the Holiday Seasons
- Torg: Aylee! Where are all my clients?
- Aylee: I removed them from your contact list at their request.
- Torg: DID YOU EAT ANOTHER CLIENT?
- Aylee: NO! no...no. I just gnawed on one a bit! I guess news travels fast. Don't worry, his leg will grow back. - 8 January 1999
Chapter 10: K'Z'K
- Torg:(after seeing Gwynn being possessed by a demon) You Dated THAT?
- Riff: She has a great personality.
- Zoe: See you guys when your survival instinct kicks in. - 31 January 1999
- K'Z'K: (Dangling Dr. Lorna off the Empire State Building) AWWW, DON'T FAINT, LORNA! I THOUGHT YOU LIKED LOOKING DOWN ON OTHERS! - 28 February 1999
- Narrator: And another adventure draws to a close with the classic happy ending. Happy except for the fact that Berk is dead, Aylee is gone, and Gwynn is a soulless vegetable. At least the bad guy got away! Ok, so the ending wasn't so happy, but hey, you can be happy to know nothing else can go wrong! (Shortly afterwards, Zoë is fired) - 3 March 1999
Chapter 11: Mecha Easter Bunny
- Santa: This unstoppable force has but one goal...to destroy Bun-Bun!
- [Elf whispers in Santa's ear.]
- Santa: Two goals! To destroy Bun-Bun and deliver Easter eggs!
- [Elf whispers in Santa's ear.]
- Santa: Three goals! To destroy Bun-Bun, deliver Easter eggs and destroy Tokyo! - 21 March 1999
Chapter 14: The Storm Breaker Saga
- Torg: I thought I loved her. I mean really loved her. Maybe Val became just built-up in my mind. When I saw her again... before... she acted differently towards me. I guess things weren't the same between us and I don't know how to feel.
- Riff: Maybe you just thought you loved her because you thought she loved you. - 22 August 1999
Chapter 15: The Isle of Doctor Steve
- Dr. Steve In any case, you know too much. Goodbye, Torg.
- [Presses button]
- [Trap door opens beneath Torg. He sinks approximately three inches.]
- Torg: Isn't this trap door supposed to be deeper?
- Dr. Steve: Like I got nothing better to do than dig pits. Oasis, please escort "Mr. Picky" to his cell. - 2 October 1999
- Dr. Steve: Are we not all glorious machines? - 15 October 1999
- Torg: (narrating) Oasis, although not human, seemed human in every regard, and even though I never had a chance to ask her "What's with the hair?" She sacrificed herself in the most human way possible. She died to save me. - 17 October 1999
- Torg: (narrating) Isn't everything a little weird? We all know the answer. Man, machine, reality. What holds it together is that we're all nuts! And that is the ultimate truth, and maybe that's all we need. That and ferret-pee-proof upholstery. - 17 October 1999
Chapter 19: K I T T E N
- Zoë: Max gave his life for us!
- Torg: Kicking a kitten... a grown man punting a kitten who was looking the other way... it was the bravest thing I've ever seen. - August 13, 2000
Chapter 21: The Hunt
- Riff: Torg, if you want to get your hand out of the jar, you're going to have to let go of the Candy-Corn.
- Torg: But Candy-Corn rules! - 19 October 2000
Chapter 22; The Bug, The Witch and The Robot
- Gwynn: I never look behind me. Partly because I'm afraid of what I'd see. Mostly because the bug wants me to. - 29 January 2001
- K'Z'K: Perhaps I'll share more when you reach the end of the path.
- Gwynn: You only say that because it leads nowhere.
- K'Z'K: It goes nowhere. Why follow it?
- Gwynn: To keep ahead of what's behind me. - 29 January 2001
- K'Z'K: These humans can reach out to each other in a variety of ways. It's a subtle part of their design. Most aren't even aware that they're doing it. - 2 February 2002
- Kusari: Why would I kill you? We're family. Besides, what good would it do now? Know thyself. Indeed. - 4 March 2001
- Bun-bun: Why should I "give you" anything?
- Gwynn: What did I ever do to you?
- Bun-bun: What did you ever do for me? - 13 March 2001
- Bun-bun: You're so obsessed with what's behind you, how about I shove your butt into it! - 13 March 2001
- Narrator: She saw what followed her so closely in this dream world. It was "the end." No romantic afterlife for her. No heaven. No hell. Gwynn was about to simply cease to exist. Her whole life gone forever, and it terrified her. - 15 March 2001
- Bun-bun: (quoted) Facing terror isn't half as fun as sharing it. - 18 March 2001
- Gwynn: (grabbing K'Z'K) You're so obsessed with what's behind me! How about I shove your butt into it!
- K'Z'K: Wait-Wait-Wait! By the way, this is the most unconventional game of poker I've ever played.
- Gwynn: House rules. (Throws K'Z'K into the void) - 18 March 2001
- Gwynn: This is for you.
- Bun-bun: A carrot cake? Why?
- Gwynn: (smiles) No reason. Just don't say I never did anything for you. - 21 March 2001
- Demon: Master! Gwynn and the Storm Breaker are across the street and vulnerable. Do we attack?
- Skippy: The erasure of that part of K'Z'K was due to his impatience, not those meatlings. We have no further business with them. The book is closed here. It will open somewhere else. For them, the slate is clean, and that's as good an ending as anything. - 1 April 2001
Chapter 23: Spring in the Air
- Bun-bun: It finally feels like spring! I don't think anything can ruin my good mood.
- (Kiki jumps around happily, annoying Bun-bun)
- Bun-bun: "Oh", God says, "a challenge!" - 16 April 2001
- Sasha: So I hear Torg's freelance business went under.
- Zoë: Yeah. Wonder what he's going to do now.
- Sasha: Maybe get a "real" job like everyone else. (pause) I'm the only one at this table with a "real" job, aren't I?
- Zoë: (taken aback) But I'm a full-time student!
- Gwynn: (offended) I'm looking. You got a problem with that?
- Riff: (indifferent) I'm making a death-ray gun out of straws and ice cubes! - 9 May 2001
- Dr. Schlock: (on Aylee's decision to start her own business) Yes. You did it for Torg. NOT some instinctive mandate. You have left the comfortable birdcage of instinct to try and fly on your own. You are charting your own course now. It is only natural to be anxious. - 1 June 2003
Chapter 26: Changes
- Clone Aylee: Riff, you've always feared my kind. Always wanted to destroy me. But you are too insignificant to be a threat to me. Normally I would just kill you. Or ignore you. But you are just so damn irritating, you deserve to suffer. Ok, big shot, how about I eat every human at this party, ALL of them, and save you for last? You just try and stop me by any means possible.
- Riff: You would devour this whole party for a game! Torg's been wrong about you all these years, Aylee. You've just been waiting to show us your true colors. You evil monster! You never fooled me!
- Sasha: That's just Riff's way of saying "I'm sorry, don't eat my friends, Aylee!" - 22 October 2001
- Bun-bun: (explaning his and Gwynn's decision to not try to stop Clone Aylee) Gwynn and I are alike in that there's one person on the planet we truly care about.
- Gwynn: Ourselves.
- Bun-bun: I was going to say "me". - 28 October 2001
- Clone Aylee: Your friends are alive, incapacitated and stacked in the backyard. A monument to you, Riff. - 4 November 2001
- Clone Aylee: You know how it feels to be powerless. To be on the verge of death. To fail your friends. Hold on to that. Bottom line, if you or any of your friends interfere in my business again, I'll put away the kid gloves. - 4 November 2001
Chapter 27: Fire and Rain
- Zoë: I guess halfway across the country isn't far enough from you, Torg. - 16 February 2002
- Zoë: Why was I trying to hurt Torg so much? I know he always means well. I remember him diving off a pier to save a little girl without thinking. "Without thinking" being the operative words. - 19 February 2002
- Zoë: (to herself, as Torg drives away) Say something Zoë... Do something Zoë... Funny how time speeds up. And the moment is gone. - 20 February 2002
Chapter 29: Books
- Torg: This looks like a job for emergency pants! - 17 April 2002
Chapter 30: Dangerous Days Ahead
- Clone Aylee: Aren't I your friend, Torg?
- Torg: Don't make fun of the friendship we had, Aylee! This used to be our apartment complex! This was our home!
- Clone Aylee: How fitting.
- Torg: Aylee, can't we just talk? Alone?
- Clone Aylee: It's Chen's job to talk. Killum's job to administer pain. My job is simply to watch. And laugh. Goodbye, Torg.
- Torg: See you later, Aylee!
- Clone Aylee: I meant that "goodbye" to sound more final.
- Torg: Right. - 16 June 2002
- Hereti-Corp Guard 1: Where are the reinforcements?
- Hereti-Corp Guard 2: They're pinned down by a small bunny.
- Hereti-Corp Guard 1: What?
- Hereti-Corp Guard 2: They're calling for reinforcements.
- Hereti-Corp Guard 1: Reinforcements aren't allowed to call for reinforcements! That's just silly! - 23 June 2002
- Torg: Aylee, before I push this button, probably killing us all, I want you to answer one question. Not "why", but "HOW"! How could you do this to me and our friends? Is it because you lost your soul? Or have you been tricking me this whole time, making me think you had one? - 15 July 2002
- Clone Aylee: I think I've benefited greatly from being able to analyze my life from an objective position. Without my previous ties or emotions getting in the way, I could make the choice; subservient secretary to a moron or new dominant species of this world. If you could do that, you might be less of a weenie.
- Torg: But you've lost sight of the fact that it is our weeniness that makes us human!
- Clone Aylee: The defense rests.
- Torg: Okay, I totally didn't think that one through. - 16 July 2002
- Aylee: Did you really think that evil monster was me, Torg?
- Torg: I'm sorry, Aylee. During the past few days, my whole world's been turned inside out. But I was wrong. I looked to enemies as friends and treated friends as enemies. I should have known you better, and I should have known Riff better. In the end, it's our bonds of friendship that keep us from falling overboard.
- Riff: YOU SHOT ME!
- Torg: Oh, wonk, wonk, wonk. "Bonds of friendship," man. Let it go. - 26 July
- Riff: Torg, you don't seem yourself lately. I mean, you just cut someone's head off. I saw you assault an old man with your bare hands. I remember a time when the worst weapon you'd use was a frisbee, and only when bikini-clad women were involved. - 2 August 2002
- Riff, then Torg: To bikini suicide frisbee girls. - 2 August 2002
- Torg: Wow! It's been a rough few weeks for us! Riff, I think you were right when you spoke of "dangerous days ahead." I think a lot has changed because of it. It has cost us, but nothing goes downhill forever. Except maybe reality TV shows. - 1 September 2002
Chapter 31: Torg Potter and the Sorceror's Nuts
- September 24 2002:
- Gandledorf: Wunnybun is the house for bad guys. Reward them amicably? Treat them with respect? They may become good, and then our paperwork would be all screwed up. The hardest thing about winning is trying to do so without losing something of greater importance. Unless it is what you wanted to lose all along.
Chapter 32: Scary Chapter
- October 25 2002
- Riff: Don't go to sleep or the kittens will eat you.
- Lucy: I can't sleep?
- Riff: No, I made it up. I was going to use "Come with me if you want to live," but that's been done.
- Lucy: I...I think I'm going into shock!
- Riff: Fine, YOU try coming up with good satanic-kitten-hunting catch phrases.
- November 12 2002
- Bones: Dart, you A-company guys are in no shape to fight. Get the other kittens back to base.
- Dart: Good luck, Bones.
- Bones: Don't need luck: I've been killing kittens since I was ten!
- Dart: That's...um...disturbing...
- November 22 2002
- Dart: I should be in charge, Acey! Riff just won the vote because HIS friends are still alive and kittens have ripped most of my friends into small irregular shapes.
- Acey: Funny how that worked.
- December 5 2002:
- Riff: Flaky once said only humans play games with death and war. But there is one other species on the face of the planet that also turns death into a game.
- Sid: Germs?
- Ed: Those other humans?
- Zoë: Any carnivore trying to survive?
- Riff: Kittens. (pause) But these are Satan's kittens, and we're more the mice than anyone suspected.
Chapter 34: Kesandru's Well
- March 5 2003:
- Torg: IT'S ALIVE! ALIVE!
- Riff: Fine, if your burger is too rare, we'll just cook it longer for you.
- Torg: Make it black as the darkest reaches of my soul!
- Riff: Medium it is.
- Torg: Thanks, man!
- Riff: You may be mad, but it's a wussy-mad.
- June 13 2003
- Gwynn: Let me go, Riff! This is what I must do. Let me be the hero for once.
- Riff: Sorry, ma'am. I'm union.
Chapter 36: Chamberpot of Secretions
- October 4 2003
- Professor Santory Snapekin : Duh-mentors are guards of the wizard prison for eternal torment! No one can hope to escape them save for running away very quickly, and even that rarely works. I happen to have reserved a few for just such an occasion! Here they come now!
- [Realizes Torg is running away very quickly] Hey, get back here!
- Duh-mentor 1 Told him about the "running away very quickly" thing, didn't you?
- Duh-mentor 2: Putz.
Chapter 38: Holiday Wars: Thanksgiving
- December 3 2003:
- General Gohblair: Do you know the difference between Thanksgiving and all the other holidays, Mrs. Claus? Santa gblgblgives gifts, the Easter bunny gblgblgives eggs, we gblgblgive our lives!
Chapter 39: Holiday Wars: Christmas
- December 17 2003:
- Basphomy: Alien Santa was once a fighter like yourself. Now he is a broken thing. You must be broken to move like he does. Otherwise he will destroy you the second you move out of dream-time.
- Bun-bun: Wait, are you saying Santa's in the same boat? Santa's in gift-giving mode and as soon as I'm in egg-hiding mode I'll match his speed?
- Basphomy: Yes.
- Bun-bun: Ok how do I turn this power on?
- Basphomy: You don't turn it on. You give in to it.
- January 4 2004:
- Basphomy: You did not seem like the world-conquering type.
- Bun-bun: Well, at least until it gets boring or until he drives me nuts.
- Shadow: What?
- Basphomy: Then what?
- Bun-bun: Then anything I want.
- January 11 2004:
- Santa: We'll never see that rabbit again.
- Mrs. Claus: Isn't that what you said the last time you tossed him into the void, dear?
Chapter 40: Boys' Night Out
- March 5 2004:
- Phillinon: (striking Grabrijan) And this is how you betray her memory?!?! You dare use a child of Lysinda in your cowardly deceptions? It is fitting that you have nothing to show for it except fangless servants.
- Grabrijan: Dear Phillinon, the Lysinda Circle Vampire of whom you speak is an idiot! He is a weak useless simpleton! I have never had a privilege of watching a more pathetic disgusting and weak vampire in ANY circle than I have seen in the Lysinda Circle vampire named Sam!
Chapter 42: That Which Redeems
- June 22 2004:
- Chaz: I am neither good nor evil. I am just a sword. Wield me as you will, master.
- June 22 2004:
- Chaz: "Innocent" is merely a term my master would understand. All societies draw moral distinctions at different places.
- July 5 2004:
- Alt-Gwynn: I do not condone your use of violence, but I at least see the good that has resulted from it.
- July 6 2004:
- Chaz: That which redeems consumes.
- Torg: Come again?
- Chaz: You are the soul who escaped on Lord Horribus's watch. I've been in that stand in your bedroom for years. I've heard all your stories. He seeks not you but redemption.
- Torg: "Consumes"...Sword, are you telling me he's going to eat me?
- Chaz: I'm not saying he's not, but you're missing the point.
- July 7 2004:
- Chaz: Once upon a time one of my masters had a friend whose soul turned dark. This friend committed many heinous acts. For his sins a sage opened his eyes to the full scope of what he had done. Stern punishment indeed, for few can face the sorrow they inflict. He turned to god, seeking penance for his sins. Luckily for a man of his skills, this god commanded that those who did not follow him were to be destroyed. At least in one interpretation. So heinous were his acts that his atrocities had to be that much more to make up for them. His blinded faith consumed him.
- Torg: "That which redeems consumes."
- Chaz: My master said that to encapsulate his friend's life.
- August 26 2004:
- Kent: You gotta respect a girl who realizes that romantic relationships are built on lies and goes to town with it!
Chapter 43: That Which Redeems II
- September 16 2004
- Torg: I'm sick of you guys and your lame ridiculous world. Outside of the occasional supply run, I'm probably going to enjoy the rest of my probably short life walled off from the demons and YOU- ALL alike.
- September 16 2004
- Torg: Because unless you fight, all of that stuff you're so proud of achieving is going bye-bye forever. Have you seen their world? The demons will leave nothing behind and then lament about how bored they are when you are gone. That's your precious legacy
- Alt-Gwynn: If to protect our culture of non-violence, we must resort to violence, we have already lost.
- Torg: You have a point. (pause) So go. Be lost.
- September 22 2004:
- Sweral: When you start with wussie mortals, you get wussie demons. Sure, they steal souls and rend flesh occasionally, but they choke up in a pinch, present company excluded. (to Alt-Kiki)
- October 12 2004:
- Unholy Evil Death Bringer: Good evening master. Whom shall we kill today?
- Torg FRED!
- Unholy Evil Death Bringer: It appears I already did.
- Unholy Evil Death Bringer:Good evening master. Whom shall we kill today?
- Torg: A God Damned Demon Lord
- November 22 2004:
- Torg: Redemption is overrated.
- November 22 2004
- Unholy Evil Death Bringer: You impress me master. How did you know that what you sought was redemption and not righteous vengeance?
- Torg: Horribus didn't promise to keep her safe.
(Torg is talking about the promise he made on July 15, 2004)
- December 3 2004:
- Torg: They may not be as good as they think, but they've got buckets of innocence! (about the Dimension of Lame)
- December 5 2004:
- Alt-Gwynn: But this is the first new card I've seen since the change... Do you know what it means?
- Torg: I'm really not sure but I think that depends on what other cards you play with it.
(Gwynn is holding a card wit Mosp on it that says "Redemption")
- December 7 2004
- Torg: What gets to me is that Zoë never said a word. She didn't want me to know I was a substitution for a lost love. And who was she replacing for me?
- December 7 2004:
- Torg: All of this, from start to finish. The demons, the death, all of it so that you could "make things right." Bravo.
(Torg, to Alt-Riff)
Chapter 45: Oceans Unmoving
- Kada: It generates tunneling waveforms based loosely on Linde's proposal on waveforms!
- Makz: Kada, baby, the only word I understood there was "on."
- Kada: You didn't understand the word "proposal?"
- Makz: Barely. I'm too afraid of commitment.
- Calix: Why'd he make me first mate?
- Murdock: He does that all the time. I think he feels safer knowing where the next mutiny will come from.
- Donaly: He's doin' the Clothos Legacy by force, mate! Roundin' up slaves for his city! If you're not shippin' for him, you're scrubbing his floors. Jacobs is a heartless bastard just like you.
- Bun-bun Not like me. He wants to rule the roost. I just want to poach a few eggs and leave.
- Donaly: CAPTAIN BUN-BUN, YOU CHEATED! YOU JUST CAN'T RENAME SHIPS AT WILL! A SHIP'S NAME IS HER HEART! AND THE SOUL OF HER CAPTAIN! (Bun-bun glares at Donaly. The "Laser Sword", previously the "Bloody Bun" is renamed the "Loser Sore"). Sigh.
- Bun-bun: You don't want Teknokon One! This hell is your home. You just want your village back.
- Stu: There's no need to hurt anybody.
- Donaly: Honest Stu only lies to himself. Around here, there's always a need to hurt somebody!
- Kada: Lab partners and managers drive me out of the workforce! I go freelance so nobody'll judge me by appearance! Now I'm blasted out of the fregging timestream! And you know what? MEN ARE STILL TECH-GRABBING OFF ME LIKE I'M A FREGGIN' SPLAT!
- Kada: Supposedly this "Jacobs" is a bigger bad guy than you?
- Bun-bun: Don't count on it.
- Bun-bun: You know, by all accounts you should be dead by now, like everyone who's ticked me off to the degree you have. But, Calix, when we first shanghaied you, I thought I saw something in you that I liked. Now that I have the opportunity to crush your soul, I like you even more.
- Bun-bun: You and I are flukes around here, Calix! Everyone else in this cursed place is a socially unskilled math-head falling out of time from a botched experiment. Your ingenious mutiny against me consisted of tossing a calculator to a bunch of cavemen and wondering why they couldn't balance their budget. And now your villagers and my crew are either dead or slaves for the noble Sir John Jacobs. Well played.
Chapter 48: Oceans Unmoving II
- October 18 2005
- Face: I've never seen Bun-Bun laugh without blood on a deck!
(Face, after Bun-Bun learns that escaping is as simple as accessing system administrator privileges)
- November 8 2005:
- Mousse: Wait, Stu is right for once?
- Paté: The amount he talks? You gotta like those odds.
- November 17 2005:
- Mousse This better not work or there'll be no living with him! What am I talking about? Stu's plans never work anyway! Unless they involve screwing me over! Somehow this is gonna hurt!
- December 16 2005:
- Patches: I've seen men go down that way. They look like they're trying to swim in quicksand. There's no way out of that. You drown or timefreeze. And if you timefreeze down there? No one, man or god, will ever find you. It's the forever end, and it scares me to death.
(About the "Oceans Unmoving")
- January 20 2006:
- Patches: They were horrible. But may the water take them before the Long Gray.
(About Bun-Bun and Blacksoul)
(Murdock is talking with T. Borchlotz)
- Murdock (to T. Borchlotz) I kept my pet bird Ralph a secret. That's kind of like lying. Stu never lied. That's good, right?
(flash back to the Bloody Bun, where Calix is about to walk the plank)
- Stu: Kind of ironic him being on the plank when it was me leading Captain Donaly to Kada that caused him to cross your village's path in the first place. If not for me, you'd all be there happily planting crops and...
(Stu is on the plank with Calix)
- Calix: You should learn to talk less.
- Stu: I gotta be me.
- February 21 2006:
- Lady Noga: Hello darlinks! If you don't want me to be findink you, you should not be leaving precious belonkinks. They lead me to you like moth to flame! um... Us being fireproof moth, of course.
- February 24 2006:
- Calix: Captain Bun-Bun was right. I've been a fool. I'm outside my village now. Out here, things are desperate. Out here, right and wrong don't matter. Only survival for you and those you care about.
- February 24 2006:
- Calix:(to the departing Lady Noga) For all your power you're naught but a coward.
- February 26 2006:
- Stu: HA-HA! Now I know why you guys lie all the time! It's funny!
- February 27 2006
- B.A. (to T. Borchlotz) You think Admiral Jacobs wants out of this dump? He's a king, here.
- March 5 2006:
- T. Borchlotz: We're all doomed here. All you're doing is giving the fight for survival bigger guns. Do you think the head of Admiral Jacobs on a pike will bring peace to this nightmare world?
- Calix: No.
- T. Borchlotz: Then when does it end for you, "pirate king"?
- Calix: When right and wrong matter again.