Small Soldiers is a 1998 American action/science fiction film written by Gavin Scott and Adam Rifkin, directed by Joe Dante and starring the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Ernest Borgnine, Jim Brown and Bruce Dern.
Small Soldiers was Phil Hartman's last theatrically released film due to his death several months before its release.
- Ms. Kegel: Gentlemen, these cards will give you access to order GloboTech products. You are issued passwords.
- Irwin Mayfair: Mine's Gizmo!
- Archer: Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there.
- Archer: What's your name?
- Alan: Alan. Now, shut up!
- Archer: Greetings, Alan-now-shut-up.
- Alan does a double take at Archer's remark
- Chip Hazard: You've got a lot of guts. Let's see what they look like.
- Chip Hazard: I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning.
- Chip Hazard: Nick Nitro's battery has run out, but his memory lives on.
- Chip Hazard: We are the Commando Elite. Everything else is just a toy!
- Chip Hazard: His battery has run out but his memory will keep going, and going, and going.
- Chip Hazard: Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by being all that he can be. Damn the torpedoes, or give me death! Eternal vigilance is the price of duty. And, to the victors go the spoils. So remember: you are the best of the few and the proud. So ask not what your country can do for you, only regret that you have but one life to live! The war against the Gorgonites will be won! Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired! Search out the Gorgonites and frag them all!
- Archer: Greetings. I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.
- Alan: Awfully polite for a monster.
- Archer: Alan, friend of Archer, defender of all Gorgonites, Keeper of Encarta...
- Alan: "Keeper of Encarta"? You were using my computer? If I find a virus in there, you're headed for the microwave!
- Fimple residence. Major Hazard stumbles upon a bunch of female dolls, causing the Commando Elite to hoot and holler at seeing girls
- Brick Bazooka: I want a three day pass, sir!
- Major Hazard: Denied! This is the new army, soldier. We are use to these dolls for "reinforcements". Bring me the head of Nick Nitro.
- Commando Elite is shown cannibalizing the defeated Nick Nitro and in a scene akin to classic film, electrifies girl dolls. One begins walking to Major Hazard
- Gwendy: Hi there, Cannon Fodder Gwendy reporting for duty!
- David Cross - Irwin Wayfair
- Jay Mohr - Larry Benson
- Alexandra Wilson - Ms. Kegel
- Denis Leary - Gil Mars
- Gregory Smith - Alan Abernathy
- Dick Miller - Joe
- Kirsten Dunst - Christy Fimple
- Jacob Smith - Timmy Fimple
- Jonathan Bouck - Brad
- Kevin Dunn - Stuart Abernathy
- Ann Magnuson - Irene Abernathy
- Wendy Schaal - Marion Fimple
- Phil Hartman - Phil Fimple
- Archie Hahn - Satellite Dish Installer
- Robert Picardo - Ralph, Clean Room Technician
- Julius Tennon - Toy World Supervisor
- Belinda Balaski - Neighbor
- Rance Howard - Husband
- Jackie Joseph - Wife
- Tommy Lee Jones - Chip Hazard
- Frank Langella - Archer
- Ernest Borgnine - Kip Killigan
- Jim Brown - Butch Meathook
- Bruce Dern - Link Static
- George Kennedy - Brick Bazooka
- Clint Walker - Nick Nitro
- Christopher Guest - Slamfist/Scratch-It
- Michael McKean - Insaniac/Freakenstein
- Harry Shearer - Punch-It
- Jim Cummings - Ocula (uncredited)
- Christina Ricci - Gwendy #1
- Sarah Michelle Gellar - Gwendy #2