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Smart Woman (1931 film)

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All men are like that. You marry them. You put them in cages. You lock them up every night and you say, "Oh, see? My nice tame husband." But you just leave him for a while and see what happens?

Smart Woman is a 1931 pre-Code romantic comedy-drama film wherein Mrs. Nancy Gibson (Mary Astor), having just returned from Europe (where she tended to her ailing mother), sets out to regain the affections of her straying husband Donald (Robert Ames), with a little help from two old friends—Billy and Sally Ross (Edward Everett Horton and Ruth Weston)—and one new admirer, Sir Guy Harrington (John Halliday).

Directed by Gregory LaCava. Written by Salisbury Field, based on the play, Nancy's Private Affair, by Myron Coureval Fagan.
Gay!..Gossipy!..Hilarious! taglines

Billy Ross

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  • It's simple. You shower Don with love. Peggy's smart. She makes him reach for it.

Dialogue

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Nancy Gibson: [Emerging from a brief catnap, she first turns to see an empty deck chair, then looks up just in time to acknowledge her traveling companion's return.] Well, did you find out?
Sir Guy Harrington: Yes, the captain assures me we'll dock by noon tomorrow.
Gibson: Oh, then we are making up time. I was so afraid we'd be late.
Harrington: So you're really... happy to be getting home.
Gibson: Oh, so happy.
Harrington: Just what does home mean to you, if I may ask?
Gibson: Why, it means ... everything I love! ... My house, my garden ... my husband...
Harrington: By Jove, I believe you mean it. [Pauses to take a drag on his cigarette.] It's most refreshing.
Gibson: [Turns and regards her traveling companion quizzically.] What's refreshing?
Harrington: Oh, to find, in this day and age, a woman who truly loves her husband. You know, I thought all American women were restless and dissatisfied.
Gibson: That just shows you haven't been to America.
Harrington: No, but I've met a good number of your countrywomen on the continent.
Gibson: Well, that accounts for it; our happy women stay home.
Harrington: [Gently] You didn't.
Gibson: Oh, but that's different: my mother was ill in Paris, they cabled for me, now she's all right.
Harrington: You know, I must meet this exceptional husband of yours.
Gibson: [Smiles] He'll be on the dock tomorrow.
Harrington: [Takes another drag, ruefully conceding his defeat.] Aren't husbands the faithful old things. [This elicits one more quizzical sidelong glance before Gibson laughs along with Sir Guy, perhaps belatedly grasping what has just taken place.]

Billy Ross: A wife should stick to her husband. If she doesn't, some other woman will.
Nancy Gibson: But Don has never been like that.
Billy: All men are like that. You marry them. You put them in cages. You lock them up every night and you say, "Oh, see? My nice tame husband." But you just leave him for a while and see what happens?

Donald Gibson: What did you mean by telling that woman that Peggy and her mother would be coming down here?!!
Nancy: But Don, I had to.
Donald: You did not!
Nancy: Yes, I did. I can't have her going around, spreading scandal. I don't want the neighbors gossiping about us.
Donald: Who cares about the neighbors?
Nancy: I do. I live here.
Donald: But don't you know that they'll gossip twice as much when they discover that what you told that old scorpion isn't true?
Nancy: Yes but ......[Feigning cluelessness.] Oh, I never thought about that.
Donald: No.
Nancy: Well, what do you think I'd better do, Don? You're always so clever about such things.
Donald: Well, I'm afraid you're up against it.
Nancy: Yes..... Unless the Prestons really do come.
Donald: You're crazy!
Nancy: Now, don't you think that's a sensible idea? If they're here, and you're here, and I'm here? Why, then there wouldn't be anything for people to talk about.
Donald: Hmmm... that is an idea.
Nancy: There! I knew you'd think of something sensible.

Nancy Gibson: [On the phone, with the 'other woman' (i.e. Peggy Preston, whom her husband Donald intends to marry just as soon as Nancy consents to a divorce)]
How do you do, Miss Preston. Thank you. I'm delighted also. ... That's charming of you. I was wondering whether you and your mother would like to spend the weekend with us. [Listens.] Yes, I'm afraid it is rather necessary. You see, it seems to be the only way out of ... an awkward situation. [Listens] Why, of course; I'd love to have you. You see, Don and I have a ... perfect understanding. [Struggling to hold it together.] And he suggested .. well, he thought that if you came down here, it would ... avoid a possible ... scandal. You know. Yes, scandal. [Listens.] You're sweet. I knew you'd appreciate my position.

Nancy Gibson: [Following the sudden and unmistakably furious exit of her sister-in-law Sally Ross, clearly unable to stomach the combined presence of her brother with his new girl friend and would-be mother-in-law] You mustn't mind Mrs. Ross. She's been disappointed in love.
Billy Ross: She has not!
Mrs. Preston: I hope we didn't say anything.
Ross: You haven't said a thing. Sally's always like that when she's in the country.
Mrs. Preston: I like the country. Don't you like the country, Mr. Ross?
Ross: Yes ... when I'm in the city.
Nancy: Oh, here's the tea. Will you pour, Peggy?
Peggy Preston: I suppose I might as well get used to it.
Mrs. Preston: Aren't you having tea, Mr. Ross?
Billy Ross: I never touch it. My doctor tells me it's poison.
Mrs. Preston: Really?
Ross: I'll get you some.

Peggy Preston: It was sweet of you to show me around the place. It's just too fascinating.
Nancy Gibson: It is lovely, isn't it?
Peggy: Yes, it really is. You know.... I never dreamed that I...
Nancy: My grandfather gave it to me as a present. He said, "No matter what happens to you, child, you'll always have a roof over you." I'm afraid Don will miss it. But after all, true love in a cottage is much better, isn't it?
Donald Gibson: Well, we thought you were never coming back.
Peggy: You really shouldn't leave me alone with Mrs. Gibson. She puts wicked ideas into my head.
Billy Ross: Ha ha ha... Impossible.
Peggy: She's been telling me more of her fascinating experiences in Paris.
Donald: Oh, now, let's be accurate. You mean her mythical experiences.
Nancy: Isn't he the perfect husband? No matter what you do, my dear, he'll always believe in you.

Peggy Preston: Mrs. Gibson's a lucky girl.
Billy Ross: You mean getting rid of Don?
Peggy: Silly. A Baron is nothing to sneeze at.
Billy: Well, I don't know. I've never sneezed at one.
Peggy: Mother and I were going to England. Had our passports, even. And then something happened.
Billy: Don?
Peggy: Mm hmm.
Billy: Well, I don't blame you. Don's a fine chap, and just as soon as he gets out of this jam he's in...
Peggy: Jam?!! What jam?
Billy: Why, I thought he told you.
Peggy: Business?
Billy: Uh huh. But I guess when you're in love, you don't think about such things.
Peggy: No, you don't. ... Silly not to, though.
Billy: You said it! Because no matter who you marry, you'll get tired of him. And you get twice as tired, twice as quick if you marry a poor man.
Peggy: Don isn't poor?!!
Billy: Poor? With a girl like you? I should say not.

Mrs. Preston: Did he make advances?
Peggy Preston: He's just a canary without a cage.
Mrs. Preston: Well, I must say. Do you think it's quite proper?
Peggy: I hope you're not shocked.
Mrs. Preston: My baby mustn't leave herself open to wagging tongues. Well, I'd better get dressed for dinner.
Peggy: Oh, I forgot to tell you, mom. You're not well enough to go to dinner tonight.
Mrs. Preston: Well enough?!! I never felt..
Peggy: [Interrupting] Mm mmm! You're a sick woman, Mom. You're having one of your spells.
Mrs. Preston: No such thing. I absolutely refuse.
Peggy: I'm awfully sorry for you, mom. Everybody's sorry. I did so want to leave with Don tonight. But with you laid up in bed...
Mrs. Preston: I'm not in bed. I'll not be a party to any such...
Peggy: [Talking over her.] I'm afraid I'll have to stay around and see some more of that fascinating Sir Guy. He has a way with him, that one.

Donald Gibson: One spade.
Billy Ross: Two spades.
Peggy Preston: Three spades.
Nancy Gibson: I pass
Donald: [Lengthy deliberation, clearly distracted by the presence of Sir Guy Harrington, who plays piano while the others play cards.] Four of spades.
Peggy: Three would've put us out.
Donald: Oh, I'm sorry.
Peggy: Don always does that; he never bids to the score.
Donald: I said I was sorry, didn't I?
Peggy: Lot of good that would do you with some partners. They'd snap your head off.
Billy: But not you. You just smile and hold your tongue. 'Atta girl!

Donald Gibson: Listen, Harrington. Nancy cares for you.
Sir Guy Harrington: Does she?
Gibson: You can't let her down.
Harrington: What is it, exactly, you wish me to do?
Gibson: Well I want you to get rid of Peggy, and give Nancy a square deal.
Harrington: Am I to understand that you are suggesting that I should devote myself in the future to your wife?
Gibson: [Hesitates.] Yes, that's it. [Steps away again, then quickly turns back.] You'll never regret it.
Harrington: You may be right, and you may be wrong. [...] But isn't that a rather noble attitude on your part? ... You're not trying to shift Nancy over to me so that you can go away with Peggy, are you?
Gibson: No, you don't understand, Harrington. You see ... when you really love someone, you want them to be happy. No matter what it costs.
Harrington: You know, I'm beginning to like you, Gibson.

Harrington: Do you think that Nancy and I will get along?
Gibson: She's easy to get along with. She has one peculiarity, though. She likes surprises. For instance, when her birthday's coming along, you must make believe you've forgotten it, then give her her present.
Harrington: Well, that's easy.
Gibson: And then she loves to order special dishes for you. You have to make believe you like them, even if you don't.
Harrington: I'll remember.
Gibson: You'll have to help her with the household bills. When Nancy adds a column of figures, she never gets the same answer. That bothers her.
Harrington: Well, I'm not very good at that sort of thing, myself, but, no doubt I'll manage.
Gibson: It's not what you're good at, Harrington. It's that you want to make life a little smoother and easier for her, that's all.
Harrington: Exactly.
Gibson: You know, if I were you, I'd take Nancy away somewhere for a trip.
Harrington: Well, she's very fond of Venice. We might go back there.
Gibson: Yes. [Pause] Yes, that'd be fine.
Harrington: Look here, Gibson, you're quite sure that you're not in love with Nancy?
Gibson: [Pause] I worship her. I love Nancy more than anything in the world.
Harrington: I see your point. But, Nancy doesn't love you?
Gibson: She's in the garden. Tell her I've gone to town, will you?
Harrington: Right.

Nancy Gibson: And you said you wouldn't help me.
Sir Guy: I've always been a very weak character. You know, as a matter of fact, you have an extremely nice husband.
Nancy: Now you know why I fought so hard, not to lose him.
Guy: You can't ever lose a man who really loves you, and you can't hold a man who doesn't. And so, my dear, even though we'll never meet again, you'll never quite succeed in losing me.

Taglines

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  • Gay! Gossipy! Hilarious!

Cast

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