Spice World
Spice World is a 1997 film about the Spice Girls and their entourage (mostly fictional characters) - manager Clifford, his assistant Deborah, filmmaker Piers (who is trying to shoot a documentary on “the real Spice Girls”) and others in their everyday life.
Dialogue
[edit]- Geri: Okay, Horoscopes!
- Emma: You know, I don't believe in star signs.
- Geri: You see, you wouldn’t, because you’re an Aquarian, and Aquarians don’t believe in anything.
- Emma: No, I don’t believe that either.
- Mel B: Oh, no! I can’t find my boots! I think I’ve lost them.
- Victoria: It’s always the same. I never know what to wear.
- Mel C: Oh, it must be so hard for you, Victoria. You know, trying to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or the little Gucci dress.
- Victoria: Exactly.
- Emma: I know. Why don’t you wear the little Gucci dress?
- Victoria: That’s a good idea. Thanks, Emma.
- Mel B: (Later on she finds them on Geri’s feet.) AH! THERE THEY ARE!
- Geri: What?
- Mel B: My boots, Geri! You’re wearing my boots!
- Geri: Oh yeah, I don’t know how that happened.
- Mel B: Typical. Typical Leo, that is. Isn’t it? Borrowing stuff without even asking me.
- Geri: No, that’s Capricorn.
- Mel C: Oi, don’t you be starting on Capricorns.
- Mel B: That’s it. You’ve had it.
- Geri: All right. HAVE THEM BACK!
- Mel B: NO, I DON’T WANT THEM! (playfully fighting and commotion, then Mel C and Emma jumps in.)
- All: Yeah!
- Mel B: Get off!
- Victoria: EXCUSE ME!!!
- All: WHAT?
- Victoria: (holding up yet another Gucci dress) What do you guys think of this one?
- Mel B: It’s great.
- All: Yeah! (continues Play fighting and commotion.)
- Piers: What I want to do with this documentary is show the real Spice Girls. You know, I want to break through the show business side. I want to crash right through it, and reveal the truth.
- Clifford: Well, that’s fine. Just as long as you crash through the showbiz facade on schedule. Don’t get in anybody’s way.
- Piers: Yes, well, a smile costs nothing.
- Geri: How my Gloria get her clothes so dirty, I’ll never know. Bless her.
- Emma: Oh. My poor back.
- Mel B: I don’t know how you can have any more of them kids. You’ve got six already, haven’t ya?
- Emma: Is it six?
- Mel B: Mmm.
- Emma: Yeah, but they’re so cute when they’re little. Then they grow up to be real little bleeders.
- Victoria: Thank god for boarding school. I only see mine once a month.
- Mel C: Our Terry goes to me…
- Victoria: Cheers.
- Mel C: He goes “Ma, I wanna be a singer.” I said “Listen, lad, go to college, get yourself a proper job.” Does he listen? No.
- Mel B: They never do, though, do they? I mean, you know…
- Geri: Darling. Kids today just don’t know how…
- All: Lucky they are. (Music blares up)
- Geri: Brucey! Demi! Will you turn that bloody racket down?
- Clifford: Now hear this. It is dangerous to store moisturizing cream in the refrigerator, as it can be mistaken for mayonnaise. That is all.
- Geri: Check.
- Mel B: What do you mean, check?
- Geri: I mean check. My bishop’s got your king.
- Mel B: Where?
- Geri: There! You’ve either got to move it in front, or move it out of the way.
- Mel B: All right, well, I’ll move that fairground horse to there. Sort that out.
- Geri: You can’t do that.
- Mel B: Says who?
- Geri: Says Mr. Chess. It’s been in the rules for thousands of years.
- Mel B: Well, I’m gonna break the rules, and set this little fairground horse free amongst all these little square fields like that. There!
- Geri: I’m gonna slap you in a minute.
- Man on Radio: Well, that was the Spice Girls. If you want tickets to their first ever live gig, tough luck. You’re too late. But they’re with me now on Surgery. So here they are. Welcome, girls! There’s Sporty, Scary…
- All: Turn it off.
- Mel B: All right, I will.
- Man on Radio: So Emma, come on, what’s it like to be Baby Spice?
- Emma: You know, I’m always gonna be seen as Baby Spice, you know, the sweet and innocent one, even when I’m 30?
- Victoria: You love it really, Emma. You play up to it all the time.
- Emma: No, I don’t.
- Victoria: Yes, you do. You’re doing it now.
- Emma: I’m not!
- Mel B: (giggles)
- Mel C: You see, the thing about you, Emma, is you’ve got this dead cute little smile, so you can get away with anything.
- Spice Girls: We’re the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far…
- Geri: Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!
- Spice Girls: Would this work with only one?
- Emma: Just with me, I’d have no fun.
- Spice Girls: Would this work with only two?
- Mel B: We need more for what we do.
- Spice Girls: Would this work with only three?
- Mel C: Three’s a crowd, bad company.
- Spice Girls: Would this work with only four?
- Victoria: No way, girls, we need one more!
- Spice Girls: Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!
- Geri: Did you know, that the largest fish in the world is the manta ray?
- Victoria: And then there’s the little ginger one, that is full of useless information, about manta rays!
- Mel B: I’m dying for the loo.
- Emma: Yes. So am I.
- Geri: Clifford, can we stop the bus?
- Clifford: Dennis, pull over. We’ve got a crisis. The girls need to go to the bathroom again!
(Dennis pulls over so the Girls need to go to the bathroom)
- Geri: I’m bursting to go wee.
- Mel C: Move! Move!
- Mel B: (roars) Geri, I’ve borrowed your shoes.
- Victoria: Mind the spider!
- Deborah: You see? Doesn’t matter how successful you are, sometimes you have to pee in the woods.
- Clifford: I don’t understand how all the toilets can break down at the same time.
- Dennis: It’s not my fault they keep breaking down. Listen, it’s hard enough to get a plumber to come to your house and that stays in one place. But you try calling one out to a bus that’s moving around the countryside. It’s impossible.
- Clifford: Isn’t there something that you can do about them?
- Dennis: Like what?
- Clifford: Fix them!
- Dennis: Listen. I love these girls, and I’ll do anything for them. But I won’t do that.
(The Girls are walking through the woods at night looking for a place to pee)
- Emma: I don’t want to go any further. I’m scared!
- Victoria: Why does the countryside have to be so bloody muddy?
- Mel B: You know what? Something just brushed past me and I’m not joking.
- Geri: It was only a disgusting beast that wants to eat you.
- Mel B: Oh!
(A loud noise is heard)
- Mel C: Oh, pack it in, Mel!
- Mel B: It wasn’t me!
- Geri: I think we’re lost, you know.
- Mel B: Spiders are everywhere. Whose idea was this?
(Suddenly, a HUGE gust of wind blows in, followed by a bright light)
- Mel C: WHAT’S THAT?!
(The source of both turns out to be a UFO heading for the terrified Girls)
- Geri: OH, MY GOD! RUN FOR IT!!
- Emma: I CAN’T MOVE!!
(The UFO lands, and out come four short aliens in green coats)
- Alien #1: (in alien language) It’s them! It’s them! Look!
- Alien #2: (in alien language) Are you sure?
- Alien #1: (in alien language) Yes! There’s the little blonde one.
- Alien #2: (in alien language) That’s what you said before, and it was a sheep!
(One of the aliens reaches for Mel B’s chest and she swats his hand)
- Mel B: OI, GET OFF!
- Mel C: And now, you’ve done it now!
- Alien #2: (in alien language) I told you, shake HANDS!
- Mel B: Geri, go and say something to them.
- Victoria: Say something.
- Mel C: Go on. Say something good, Geri.
- Geri: What do you want with us?
- Alien #2: (in alien language) Are you the Spice Girls?
- Girls: Yes.
- Alien #2: (in alien language) Can we have tickets for your Albert Hall gig?
- Emma: I’m really sorry, but they’ve all sold out.
- Alien #2: (in alien language) I told you we should’ve booked early!
(Alien #1 holds out a notepad)
- Mel C: What’s that? What is it?
- Alien #1: (in alien language) Can I have your autograph? It’s not for me, it’s for my brother.
- Mel C: What’s his name?
- Alien #1: (in alien language) Krtkkarphillmuk.
- Mel C: Is that with 3 or 4 K’s?
- Emma: It’s 4.
(The 4th alien opens his coat)
- Alien #4: (in alien language) Could you sign this please, Posh?
- Mel C: There you go.
- Victoria: Oh gosh, you’re fat.
- Alien #1: (in alien language) Give us a kiss, Ginger one!
- Emma: Eww, he wants you to snog him.
- Mel C: He wants you, G.
- Girls: Ew!
(The other Girls recoil in disgust while Geri kisses the aliens)
- Alien #1: (in alien language) YIPPEE!
- Emma: Ugh! They want a picture, now?
- Alien #2: (in alien language) Say “khttttyakkk!”
(He takes a picture of the Girls w/ the aliens; cut back to the Spicebus)
- Clifford: What do you mean, aliens?
- Mel C: You know, aliens from outer space.
- Emma: They had these little squidgy faces.
- Girls: Yeah.
- Victoria: And really cheap green coats.
- Clifford: You’re obviously under massive stress. I think you need some time off.
- Clifford: Now hear this. Now hear this. You are about to enter Dance Camp. You will be under the instruction of the toughest dance teacher of all time, Mr. Step.
- Mr. Step: I know. I’ve seen your videos! Hahahahahaha!
- Victoria: (after the girls hear noises in the night and after running into each other and scaring themselves, seek refuge in Victoria’s room) It’s pathetic, you know, that we can’t even sleep in our own rooms.
- Mel C: Yeah, I don’t know what we’re making such a fuss for. It’s only an old house.
- Victoria: A big old house.
- Emma: (very scared) A big, very old, haunted, big old house.
- Mel B: Well, I had this horrible dream last night. I dreamt we were all doing the live show. And I went on the stage, and I was just about to open my gob, and nothing came out. But something even more weird happened. I realized, right?
- Mel C: You didn’t have a head?
- All: Yeah. How did you know?
- Mel C: I had exactly the same dream.
- Mel B: No way. No.
- Victoria: I had exactly the same dream, but mine was much, much worse. Well, you see, I had a head but there was no makeup on it.
- Geri: Oh, no.
- Emma: I just don’t understand. So what does it all mean?
- Geri: Probably our subconscious minds so we don’t have to deal with our inner anxieties when we’re awake.
- Mel B: Like we’re all gonna be scared of this live show.
- Emma: And that we might not be able to sing.
- Mel C: And it’s gonna be a complete disaster.
- Victoria: Oh, no.
- Emma: Let’s just stay here together.
- Mel C: Yeah, squash up. I’m going to sleep now.
- Mel B: I am. See ya.
- Clifford: (after they have a fall into the Thames) Look at this! Front page news again. Suppose the whole lot you had been drowned?
- Geri: Well we weren’t though, were we?
- Victoria: Speak for yourself.
- Clifford: What do you think you were doing, going off like that?
- Mel B: We were just having fun!
- Clifford: What?!
- Emma: You know, fun? Like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”
- Kevin McMaxford: Something’s happening to me. What is it?
- Brian: You’re smiling, sir.
(As the Spice Girls are performing “Spice Up Your Life”)
- Martin Barnfield: Gonna make this movie? Have we got a deal?
- Clifford: We’ve got a deal. Yes!
Taglines
[edit]- They perform for royalty and entertain millions the world over. But now, they’re making a movie.
- You say you want a revolution?
- They Don’t Just Sing!
- Five girls. Five days. One rocking world!
