Spider-Man (2000 video game)

These are quotes from the Playstation game entitled Spider-Man released in 2000 by Never Soft and published by Activision. The game follows Spider-Man as he is framed by a doppleganger for stealing a device created by a supposedly reformed Dr. Otto Octavious at a science expo, making the police go on a manhunt. This game and its sequel feature narration from Spider-Man co-creator Stan Lee.

Peter Parker/Spider-Man

• This isn't the bank!
• Gotta get to that bank...
• I'm innocent!
• HEY, WAIT! I'M NOT A BAD GUY!!!
• (To Black Cat, on What If? Contest) Black Cat! What are you doing-- Who's behind-- why-- Why are you dancing?!
• Aah. Printing press.
• (to Venom) Our bad? OUR bad?! I'm gonna kill you!
• (If taken in the wrong direction) Okay, news flash. Gotta follow the Spidey Compass.
• Listen, whoever you are, no one can control the symbiotes! NO ONE!
• You've gotta be kidding! (Gets out of building, fire is everywhere, it looks bad for Spidey) Perfect end, for a perfect day...
• (sees Venom on the Jumbotron) Sad thing is, he'll probably get his own talk-show for this.
• Let's see what Venom's up to, then we'll tackle Rhino.
• Not this time, guys.
• Come on, gimmie a break!
• Whoever your boss is, he's off his ROCKER!
• Rhino Burgers coming up!
• Are your ears ringing?
• Toro! Toro!
• What's the matter? Hurt your little tusky-wusky?
• Oh, man! Looks like the Fantastic Four aren't around right now.
• (after seeing "Spider-Man" steal a machine) Last time I checked, *I* was Spider-Man.
• (In the Green Goblin's secret base) Gee. I wonder who those *pumpkin bombs* belong to.
• (running from the police) Man! Mary Jane was right! I should've stayed home today!
• (looking at a poster of the Lizard) Monsters infest sewers. *laugh* Yeah, right.
• Where is she, Venom?! Where is my wife?
• (to Mysterio) Dude, capes are out this year.
• (to Mysterio) Hey! You finally found a costume the size of your ego!
• (when Mysterio grabs him) Do I look like Fay Wray? Put me down!
• (to a defeated Mysterio) Right now, you're thinking if only you'd taken that giant act to Vegas instead!
• Tony Hawk. Hey, I skated with that guy!
• The heating bill on this place must be enormous! And I thought crime didn't pay.
• Could you make a little more noise? I'm only breaking and entering here!
• I've got to say, you look just like me. Except you're more angry back alley than friendly neighborhood.

J. Jonah Jameson

• Brock, you loser! If I had given a real photographer that job, I would finally have the evidence to send Spider-Man away forever! You're through, Brock! When I am done with you, you won't be able to get a job taking wedding pictures in Siberia!!!
• Get over it, Gargan!
• Spider-Man?! I ask for the police, and I get this?!
• We can still make a deal!
• I'll give you anything!
• Take it easy, Gargan!
• Stop it, Gargan!
• I'm out of here!
• Scorpion, stop! You don't know what you're doing!
• It's not my fault!
• No, Gargan! No!
• NO, GARGAN!!! NO!!!
• Spider-Man!
• SPIDER-MAN!!!
• I don't know what you're trying to pull by saving my life, but it won't work!

NYPD

• Where is he?!
• Got him in my sights!
• Positive on hit, base!
• Where'd he go?!
• Taking the shot, base!
• Agh! Negative on shot!
• Taking the shot!
• Ugh! He moves too fast!
• Lost him, base!
• Like shooting fish in a barrel!
• You're mine, wall crawler!

Eddie Brock/Venom

• Again...innocence falls prey to the evil of Spider Man! Rest easy, Brock, Venom is here even if it's the last thing we ever do, Jameson and the insect are gonna pay!
• My, my, my, said the spider to the smaller spider!
• I'd like you to see your wifey-poo, but she's in the bath right now! So whadda you say, Spunky? Let's finish this!
• Say Spidey, can you get us Captain America's autograph?
• Quit slackin', boy!
• Come on, Parker!
• So Just in case SOMEONE...I don't who it could be...If any of you tights-wearing freaks out there wanna save Little Miss Fashion Model....THEN BRING IT ON...Meanwhile New Yorkers...The Venom Marathon WILL CONTINUE *growling sounds*
• Ooooh, are we gonna surf the web?
• You and your wife are innocent Parker, our bad.
• It's SHOWTIME, freaks!
• I smell bad Symbiote, and it ain't me!
• Mmmmm... Brains. Yummy.
• Oooooh! Look at the big brain on Spidey!
• "laughs" Guess again, Spider-Man!
• What are you...stupid?
• *mockingly* Oh help me, Spider-man, I'm drowning, I'm drowning "laughs"
• By the by, Parker, how long Mary Jane can hold her breath?
• Mary Jane won't last must longer!
• Hang on, Parker...Mary Jane is at the next stop!
• Oh Boy...
• *standing on a computer desk* Surf the web, surf the web!
• *when player has lost Venom in a chase* Slowpoke!
• *webbing you off a wall* GET BACK HERE!
• NO! WALLCRAWLING!
• GET OFF THAT WALL!
• Not too far, little spider!
• Not so fast! Ahhh, gotcha! Shaken! Not stirred!
• Spidey? Where ARE you???
• UGH! IT'S NOT! THAT! HARD!! (Take WAY too many tries to solve Venom's Puzzle)
• Nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hehehehe! (What If? mode, to the title theme)
• HEY! What does THIS switch do?!
• OH, LOOK! Another SWITCH!
• NOT FAST ENOUGH, SPIDER-MAN!!
• WARMER....
• COLDER!
• UGH! Cold as ICE!!
• Ahh! Ohh, you're hot, baby!
• Hahh, look out, lady!
• OUTTA MY WAY, NERD!
• Watch that first step, Parker! It's a DOOZY!
• Oh! Sorry, lady. Didn't see a thing.

Rhino

• WELL; IF IT AIN'T BUG BOY!!
• GET DOWN HERE!
• I'm gonna crush you!
• STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!!!!!!
• Wait; if I'm a Rhino, you're a Scorpion, and he's an Octopus, what's a Mysterio?
• WHA?! THERE YOU ARE!!!
• YOU LITTLE SICK, UNFUNNY, KOSMONAVT

Monster-Ock

• (Glushing sound) DIE!
• Die! Die! DIE!
• Die...!
• IT'S NOT...OVER...YET!!!!

Carnage

• Bring it on, Grandpa!!
• Venom couldn't stop me! What makes you think you can?!
• Die, die, die!
• What color do you bleed, Spider-Man?!
• You killed my brethren!!
• Bet you weren't expecting THAAAAT~!
• HEHE! NICE TRYYYYY~!
• Where are you going, Spider-Man?!
• COME BACK HERE, SPIDER-MAN!!
• Noooo more Humans, Nooo more buuuugs~!
• You may have beaten everyone else, but you won't defeat MEEEEEEEE~!
• DON'T TOUCH ME!!
• OHHH, THE PAIN.... THE PAIN!!!!!
• NGGG, STOP... MAKE IT STOOOOOOOP!!!
• I'm going to CUT you!!
• Do you get the point Spider-Man?

Mysterio

• Oh, for decades I wanted to shut that mouth of yours! Finally that time is upon me!
• At Last! I will crush you, once and for all (laughs and grows) Now little Spider, YOU WILL DIE!
• HAHAHAAAA! WELCOME to your NIGHTMARE, Spider-Man!!
• Welcome to your nightmare, Spider-Man!
• Time to do a little Pest Control!
• Oh, ho ho! CAREFUL, now!!
• You shall not escape me!
• You're no match for me!
• HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
• What ARE you doing?!
• GOT YOU!
• I've got you NOW, little spider!
• Who's laughing NOW, Spidey?! HAHAHAAA! I believe it's ME!!
• You think you've beaten me? Think again, Spider-Man!
• CURSE YOU!!!
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
• Curse your endless babble, Spider-Man!
• Mysterio may be defeated, but the Symbiote Invasion cannot be stopped!
• It's not my fault. Doc Ock's plan was horrible! Everyone KNOWS you can't control the Symbiotes!

Stan Lee

• Welcome, true believers and newcomers alike! Spider-Man co-creator Stan Lee here! Once again, we find our hero Peter Parker, better known around the world as the Amazing Spider-Man, in a heap of trouble. But this is just the beginning, Spidey fans! So get ready for a true superhero action thriller packed to the brim with thrills and chills, twists and turns, more supervillains than you can shake a web at and of course, nonstop web-slinging, wall-crawling action!
• Uh-oh, Spidey! Scorpion's been after J. Jonah Jameson since day one, blaming Jameson for being stuck in his scorpion suit! Spidey had better get there quickly, or JJJ may end up in the obituaries of his own paper!
• Ahoy, Spidey fans! Black Cat is out! Rhino's looking to take Spidey down as well! But fortunately for the web-slinger, Rhino's only got a one-track mind!
• Plunging into battle with Symbiotes other than Carnage and Venom? And hostages? Old web-head's got his work cut out for him today.
• Ah, the cliche seedy waterfront warehouse. Although, I'm guessing that this particular warehouse has a bit more in store for the web-head than even he can imagine.

Script

Chapter 1: The Exposition

---

'Doctor Octavius: Technology is the light that will cut through the darkness. When humanity conforms to a single truth, a truth based in technological progress and scientific method, we will be unstoppable. I, Doctor Otto Octavius vow as a scientist and business man that my duties to humankind will be fulfilled. Thank you. Thank you.

Peter Parker: Yeah, nice words Octavius. If these executives knew you the way I do, I wonder if they'd be so quick to applaud.

Eddie Brock: Just keep shooting Eddie. When J. Jonah Jameson sees these photos my career is going to be right back on track.

Security Guard 1: Check one, one, where's your twenty?

Security Guard 2: Just backstage. All is...

(Imposter takes down both security guards, alerting Octavius and the audience of his presence)

Otto Octavius: Who dares? Face me, coward. Face a worthy foe. Spider-Man?

Peter: Last time I checked, I was Spider-Man.

Eddie: Spider-Man? What's he doing?!

Peter: Gotta get into my costume and take out this imposter. Can't... get free of this crowd.

Eddie: Can't get a shot. Jameson would pay any price to get this kind of dirt on Spider-Man!

(Peter & Eddie bump into each other. Eddie grunts)

Peter: That was Eddie Brock.

Eddie: Who the...?

Peter: ...You look familiar.

Eddie: Eh, whatever, stay focussed. He... he's stealing Octavius' device! Oh no, he sees me... my camera. Nooooo!

(The Imposter webs Eddie Brock's camera in from afar, destroying it as it collides with his fist)

Eddie: Aah, it's over, it's all over. I blew it again! Oh, I can hear Jameson's voice already.

(Brock's imagination)

J. Jonah Jameson: Brock, you loser! If I had given a real photographer that job, I would finally have the evidence to send Spider-Man away forever! You're through, Brock! When I am done with you, you won't be able to get a job taking wedding pictures in Siberia!!!

Eddie: I tried to fight it! (Eddie grunts) Can't... fight him... anymore!

(Venom emerges and roars.)

Venom: Again, innocence falls prey to the evil of Spider-Man. Rest easy, Brock. Venom is here, and if it's the last thing we ever do, Jameson and the insect are gonna pay!.

(We see two silhouettes stand before a control panel)

Mysterious figure 1: Phase 1 completed. Let us begin Phase 2.

Mysterious figure 2: Eheheheheh, yeeessss. It begins.

(The two shadow figures pull a lever that fills the streets of New York with a deadly, green fog)

Mysterious figure 2: Ahaha... AHAHAHAHAHAAA! Soon. Very soon.

(Both shadow figures laugh maniacally)

Venom: Parker hates it when I get the drop on him.

Spider-Man: Urgh! I hate it when he gets the drop on me!

---

Venom: Where'd Spider-Wuss go? SPIDER-WUSS! COME OUT AND PLAY!

Spider-Man: (Hits him in the head, Venom grunts) Tag!

---

Spider-Man: Open this door!

Venom: Who is it?!

---

• (Spidey pursues Venom through an office building)

Venom: Look out, lady!

Lady: Oh my goodness!

Venom: Out of my way, nerd!

Man: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Venom: Watch that first step, Parker! It's a doozy!

Spider-Man: Ow, my head! Ooh! Toe, toe, toe, ow!

Venom: Look out, lady!

Lady: Oh my goodness!

(Woman screams)

Venom: Oh! Sorry, lady. Didn't see a thing.

---

• (During the chase through the building with the What If? cheat activated)

Woman: Hey, nice biceps. *giggles*

Venom: Thank you.

---

• (Spider-Man leaps onto a rooftop, and the police chopper chasing him crashes into a tower)

Copter Pilot: Impact with a transmitter tower! I'm out of pursuit, I've gotta land this thing now!

Spider-Man: Hey, you gonna pay for that tower?

(Spider-Man's Spider Sense tingles and he turns around)

Spider-Man: One more step and it's a load of web fluid sticking you to that wall!

Black Cat: Well, it's not the most romantic proposition I've ever heard...

Spider-Man: Black Cat! I'm so glad it's you!

Black Cat: Nice to see you too, big boy, but you've got a problem. Venom's got control of the JumboTron in Times Square, and he's been ranting for hours with a message for you.

Spider-Man: Venom's ugly face on that big screen? Now that's scary.

Black Cat: That's not all. Rhino's on a rampage over at OmniTech as well.

Spider-Man: What is this, the Bad Guy Olympics?! Look, Times Square's on the way to OmniTech. Let's see what Venom wants, then we'll tackle Rhino.

(Cut to: Times Square JumboTron. Venom is broadcasting his message to everyone present)

Venom: The Venom Marathon continues on the biggest TV in New York! We're shoutin' out the whole Big Rotten Apple here!

Spider-Man: Sad thing is, he'll probably get his own talk show.

Venom: So, we've got this beautiful redhead. You know her, she's one of those famous bimbos. We have decided that this poor little lassie has 24 hours to live, 24 hours! Oh, by the way, her name is Mary-Jane Parker!

Spider-Man: Oh no, Mary-Jane!

Venom: So, just in case someone, and I know who it could be, if any of you tight-wearing freaks out there wanna save Little Miss Fashion Model, THEN BRING IT ON!! Meanwhile, New Yorkers, the Venom Marathon will continue!

---

• (After defeating Mysterio )

Spider-Man: Right now, you're thinking if only you'd taken that giant act to Vegas instead!

Mysterio: Curse your endless babble, Spider-Man!

Spider-Man: Speaking of babble, let's hear it. Who's behind all this?

Mysterio: I'll never tell you! Mysterio may be defeated, but the Symbiote Invasion cannot be stopped!

Spider-Man: Symbiote Invasion? There are more of them?!

Mysterio: You fool! There will be more than you can imagine! That fog which blankets the city is preparing everyone in New York for symbiosis!

Spider-Man: You're the fool, Mysterio! [punches Mysterio and shatters the front of his helmet] Where?! Where are they coming from?!

Mysterio: Go then. On the waterfront, Warehouse 65 - a secret passage... If only I could watch them destroy you...

Spider-Man: Whoever your boss is, he's off his ROCKER! No one can control the Symbiotes!

Mysterio: Correction: no one before now!

Spider-Man: Spare me the propaganda, okay? This isn't a game, Mysterio! The Symbiotes will destroy everything in their path unless I can stop them.

---

[Spider-Man runs down a tunnel and into a laboratory, where two men stand and are silhouetted by the room's white light]

Spider-Man: Listen, whoever you are. No one can control the Symbiotes! No one!

[The lights turn off and show Doctor Octopus standing on a platform, with a growling Carnage standing at his side]

Doctor Octopus: I need not control ze Symbiotes, Spider-Man.

Spider-Man: Doc Ock?!

Doctor Octopus: Ve vill vork as one. 'Tis a new vorld. Humanity needs ze skills zat my technology vill give zem. Symbiosis is ze only vay.

Spider-Man: Should've known a reformed Doc Ock was too good to be true!

Doctor Octopus: [revealing his tentacles] A perfect vorld order! Zose who vill not share my vision vill be crushed by it!

Venom: (suddenly appears) Speaking of "crushed"...

Spider-Man: Huh?

Venom: It's showtime, freaks! Ooh... I smell bad Symbiote. And it ain't me!

Carnage: Bring it on, Grandpa!

[Venom and Carnage fight, disappearing into an overhead opening]

Spider-Man: [to Doctor Octopus] Alone at last!

Doctor Octopus: Let us end zis, Spider-Man!

• (After defeating Carnage, the Symbiote leaves Cletus Kasady, dead.)

Spider-Man: You are a born loser, Cletus Kasady. Like I told Mysterio, no one can control the Symbiotes... No one I'VE met, anyway. Take a breather, Spidey, it's over. Well, just another day in the life...

[two of Monster Ock's tentacles pierce through the ground]

Spider-Man: WHOA! What the...?!

[one of Monster Ock's tentacles grabs Spider-Man by the neck and drags him to the floor]

Spider-Man: Is that... Ock?

[Monster Ock walks towards Spidey and lets out a roar]

---

• (Ending)

Captain America: (Playing "Go Fish" with all the heroes) Punisher, do you have any threes?

Punisher: Go fish! So, nice of you to join us for once, Spidey.

Spider-Man: Oh, I'm sorry, I was out saving the world. Beating you guys at cards oughta be pretty easy.

Daredevil: Your spider-sense won't save you here.

Punisher: Look who's talkin', Daredevil! You've been lookin' at my cards all night!

Daredevil: I don't need to look at your cards, Punisher. Your bluffs are so obvious...

Captain America: Okay. Okay. Let's keep this a nice friendly clean game.

Punisher: (groans in irritation) Who keeps inviting this guy?!

Spider-Man: Hey, will you guys keep it down? (cuts to Black Cat and Human Torch dancing to the radio)

Human Torch: Hey, hey! Loosen up, kids, I'm on FIRRRRRE!

(cuts to prison, where all the villains are playing Go Fish as well)

Scorpion: Wait. Hold on. Time out. All of you guys were working together, and you still couldn't take out Spider-Man?

Mysterio: (scoffs) It's not my fault! Doc Ock's plan was horrible! Everyone knows you can't control the Symbiotes!

Rhino: Hey, wait! If I'm a Rhino, you're a Scorpion, and he's an Octopus... what's a Mysterio? (Rhino sits on the bench, forcing a Bank Thug to the ceiling)

Scorpion: So, Rhino... you got any threes?

Rhino: Uh. Hey, hey, I got a Bingo! HA HA! You guys think you're so smart! But I won! Who's your daddy, Doc Ock?! HA HA! Victory is mine! You're always laughin' at me, but WHO'S CRYIN' NOW, HUH?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- Uh, wait a minute. I made a mistake... (a very annoyed Doc Ock begins banging his head on the bars)

---

• (What if? Contest)

Uatu the Watcher: I am the Watcher. You already know the outcomes Spider-Man's battle with Doctor Octopus, Carnage and the Symbiotes. But, what if. What if this time, in this timestream, some of the events unfolded differently. Some of the difference are grand. Some minute. Those of you alert enough may notice some of the differences yourself.