Spy (2015 film)
Spy is a 2015 American action spy comedy film starring Melissa McCarthy as a desk-bound C.I.A. analyst named Susan Cooper who transforms into a field agent attempting to foil the black market sale of a suitcase nuke. It was theatrically released on 5 June 2015 and nominated for two Golden Globe Awards.
- Written and directed by Paul Feig.
- No, it's not pinkeye, ma'am; it's just I'm having a bit of an allergic reaction.
- I just…I still, y'know, hear my mom's voice: "Well-behaved women often make history."
- Could this hotel be any more murdery?
- Maybe I should be married to one of the dolls just to make it extra sad. "Ten cats"—wh—why do I have "ten cats"? Is that even legal… Just missing a shirt that says I've never felt the touch of a man.
- I'm Penny, like the penny.
- Once, I asked someone for a Tylenol, and they gave me a Tylenol PM. I'm not sure what their intentions were, but…
- I'm pretty sure we all took a fucking vow. I remember it. I remember raising my fucking hand and saying some shit.
- And I know there's a fucking Face/Off machine! You're jus' keeping it secret from me.
- Well, I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do: walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.
- You—times infinity.
- Nothing kills me. I'm immune to one-hundred seventy-nine different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.
- It was all a dream. Just kidding—a man's throat dissolved.
- Looks like you ate a box of crayons.
- Tell me: are your hemorrhoids particularly large, or just tenacious?
- Bradley Fine: [to Tihomir] Well, then, in that case, I'd say you better start—[sneezes, shooting Tihomir in the head] Oh, fuck!
- Aldo: I don't have a gun. I am just aroused from looking at you.
- Bradley Fine: I could kiss you!
- Susan Cooper: Oh. [chuckles] Well, I would accept that with an open mouth.
- Bradley Fine: Did you wipe your eye after you cleared out the cat box?
- Susan Cooper: I don't have cats.
- Bradley Fine: Why did I think that?
- Susan Cooper: I don't know.
- Bradley Fine: You should get some. They're—they're good company.
- Rick Ford: What're you gonna do: bring one of your cats as a sidekick?
- Susan Cooper: I don't have any cats.
- Patrick: And, may I say, it is very brave of you to sacrifice your life for your country.
- Susan Cooper: Oh, I'm not sacrifi—I-I'm coming back.
- Patrick: Let's see.
- Rick Ford: You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and reattached with this fuckin' arm.
- Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible, I mean, medically…
- Rick Ford: During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of Congress as Barack Obama.
- Susan Cooper: In blackface? That's not appropriate.
- Rick Ford: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while on fire. Not the car, I was on fire.
- Susan Cooper: Jesus, you're intense.
- Susan Cooper: Oh, my God! Somebody just put something in her drink.
- Nancy B. Artingstall: What is it? is it poison?
- Susan Cooper: I don't think it's a fibre supplement.
- Susan Cooper: You may never be as wise as an owl, but you'll always be a hoot to me.
- Rayna Boyanov: What a stupid fucking retarded toast. You're delightful.
- Melissa McCarthy — Susan Cooper / Carol Jenkins / Penny Morgan
- Jason Statham — Rick Ford
- Rose Byrne — Rayna Boyanov
- Jude Law — Bradley Fine
- Miranda Hart — Nancy B. Artingstall
- Bobby Cannavale — Sergio De Luca
- Allison Janney — Elaine Crocker
- Peter Serafinowicz — Aldo / Albert
- Morena Baccarin — Karen Walker
- 50 Cent — himself
- Michael McDonald — Patrick