Stanley Holloway

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Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket

Stanley Holloway (1 October 189030 January 1982) was an English stage and film actor, comedian, singer, poet and monologist.


  • It occurred on the evening before Waterloo,
    And troops were lined up on parade,
    The Sergeant inspecting 'em he was a terror,
    Of whom every man was afraid

    All excepting one man who was in the front rank,
    A man by the name of Sam Small,
    And 'im and the Sergeant were both 'daggers drawn',
    They thought 'nowt' of each other at all

  • 'Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket,'
    The Sergeant exclaimed with a roar,
    Sam said 'Tha' knocked it doon, reet! then tha'll pick it oop,
    Or it'll stay where it is on't floor
  • Up rode the Duke on a loverly white 'orse,
    To find out the cause of the bother,
    He looked at the musket and then at Old Sam,
    And he talked to Old Sam like a brother

    'Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket'
    The Duke said as quiet as could be,
    'Sam, Sam pick oop tha' musket,
    Coom on lad, just to please me

    'Alright Duke,' said Old Sam, 'just for thee I'll oblige,
    And to show thee I meant no offence',
    So Sam picked it up, 'Gradely, lad' said the Duke,
    'Right-o boys... let battle commence.'

    • "Old Sam Small" monologue

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