Starslip Crisis

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Starslip Crisis is a webcomic by Kristofer Straub. It began May 23, 2005 and follows the sci-fi adventures of an art museum aboard a starship.

Memnon Vanderbeam[edit]

  • to attacking pirates: Attention roguish invaders! Before you begin your practiced savaging of what must appear to be another ordinary starship, be aware that this is not some bulk freighter, but a place of learning and culture! This ship houses some of the most priceless treasures in known space! To plunder it is to plunder the poet soul of mankind.
  • My diplomacy must sparkle.
  • High-contrast lighting and cold onyx surfaces. How Kubrick. How hideous.
  • For the same reason the universe exists! Dining ambience.
  • to Mr. Jinx: Remind me to pay you a wage so I can threaten to dock it.
  • to Mr. Jinx: WEAR IT LIKE A HAAAAAT!!

Cutter Edgewise[edit]

  • I always take care of my own. Just not my own liver, is all.
  • to an alternate-universe Vanderbeam: No dice, parallel-face! You're reactor chow.
  • I have a running tab at the engine room's waste ethanol pump.
  • My mom was an alcoholic small arms dealer. She knew I needed a masculine influence around the house after my father left. We had this turret I called 'dad.'

Mr. Jinx[edit]

  • Sorry if I got some Jinx on you.
  • You must settle down, sir! Perhaps my calming anesthetic saliva --

Lord Katarakis IX[edit]

  • Why doesn't anything go right for me? All I wanted was to enslave a destroyed universe of tortured dead.

Admiral Huff[edit]

  • I'm all for beating swords into plowshares, but I'd rather do it over someone's skull.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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