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Stoked (TV series)

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Stoked is a Canadian animated series produced by Fresh TV that premiered on Teletoon on June 25, 2009 and ended on January 26, 2013.

Season 1

[edit]

Welcome to Paradise, Dudes!

[edit]
Ty: Lo? Lo? LO! [Lo moans] It's amazing, I leave for one day, and you manage to trash the place. [Ty opens the blinds]
Lo: It's too bright! [Ty looks out the window, shocked] It was just a little party. It will all be cleaned by the time they get home.
Ty: I think you better see this.
Lo: See what? [Ty turns on the television]
Male Newscaster: Last night a luxury hotel was turned upside down, as what has been described as an end of the school year party gone awry.
Lo: Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no! [Lo's phone rings; she picks it up]
Guy: That party last night was—
Lo: Hey. Can't talk right now. Is there any way Dad won't find out about this?
Ty: What do you think?
Emma: So where are you guys working anyway? I'm working in the dining room!
Johnny: DR, nice decent tip potential!
Reef: [describing his job title] You are lookin' at the head of Water Sports and Surf Instruction.
Fin: What? That's my job!
Reef: Uh, is your name Reef?
Fin: No!
Reef: Then it's not your job, [pulls out a letter] I got this in the mail last week!
Fin: [looking at the letter] Okay, there has to be some kind of mistake— [hands the letter to Johnny] they said it was practically guaranteed!
Johnny: [looking at the letter] Looks legit! They do this all the time, move staff around. You'll get used to it.
Fin: That's so unfair! So what am I supposed to do?
Johnny: Let me check! [pulls out his radio] Hey boss, just checking the employee posting for Fin McCloud?
Bummer: Yeah, hold on! [reading the posting] Fin McCloud! Uh, that's housekeeping!
Fin: A maid? No! Oh no! Okay, I don't even clean my own room!

Another Gnome Bites the Dust

[edit]
Fin: Who are you?
Lo: Your new roommate, Lo! Other room smells like skunk!
Fin: [notices Lo's luggage] That's a lot of stuff! You lugged it all here with you?
Lo: I only had to come from the penthouse!
Fin: Oh, wait. You're the Lo whose huge party we spent all day cleaning up after? We didn't get to surf because of you!
Lo: Well, that's kind of your job, isn't it?
Fin: How long did you say you'd be staying here?
Lo: Not very long! My dad went Outer Limits about my party and is like, trying to teach me a lesson or something. I'm totally cut off! He's actually making me work in the dining room.
Fin: Wow, he's hardcore!
Lo: I know, right? So it's cool if I crash here?
Fin: Yeah, sure! Knowing you're being tortured for trashing the place kinda makes me feel better about having to clean it. [Emma sees her door and cries] Hey, what's wrong?
Emma: Oh, my room has been declared an environmental hazard.
Fin: Come on; you're officially staying with us.
Emma: Really? [sees Lo] Who are you?
Lo: It's a long story!
Fin: [seeing Emma in her uniform] Oh my gosh, that is so bad!
Emma: [about her uniform] I really have to wear this?
Bummer: [carrying Fin's uniform] It's an authentic wench costume dating back to the 1800s.
Fin: [seeing her uniform] Okay, this is so lame! I'd rather wear the wench thing.
Wipeout: [pulls back the curtain] Consider yourself lucky.
Bummer: [to Fin] Well, research shows that guests prefer their housekeepers to look neat and respectable. It makes them feel like you won't actually steal their possessions. [Fin gasps]
Emma: Just put it on!
Broseph: [coming from the boy's side] This is really itchy!
Reef: [spotting Emma] Arr, little wench, fetch me some cola or I'll make ye walk the plank!
Emma: [about Reef's uniform] At least I don't look like a preppy little momma's boy.
[Bummer, Broseph and Emma laugh]
Broseph: She's right, dude; you do.
Reef: [seeing Fin in her uniform] Yikes! Now that is bad!
Fin: [about Reef's phone] Do it and you lose it! This is so humiliating!
Bummer: [sarcastic] Yeah yeah yeah, life's unfair, Daddy doesn't love me, blah blah blah. '[throws the name tags over his shoulder] Here are your name tags; you are required to wear them at all times.
Zack: [to Broseph] Hey, aren't you the dude who drove the Jeep into the pool last night? That was awesome!
Broseph: [to Bummer] I have no idea what that guy is talking about, bro.

Board and Confused

[edit]
Ty: Wicked session!
Lance: Did you see me get barreled?
Johnny: I definitely saw you get worked!
Lance: They don't call it the Office for nothing, dude! (All the seniors laugh)
Kelly: Come on, guys; it's almost seven. Time to haze some grom butts!
Ty: Right, the grand tradition of grom initiation. So how many we gonna let through this year?
Ripper: To surf the Office, I vote none!
Lance: You said it, dude!
Johnny: You know, we were groms once, and our seniors let us through.
Ripper: More groms equals less waves for me, equals an unhappy Ripper.
Kelly: I don't even surf; I just want to give them a hard time! [smacks her fist into the palm of her hand in anticipation]
Lance: [about the new employees] We still get to torture them, right?
Johnny: Oh, definitely—humiliate away.
Johnny: Hey man, what's up?
Ripper: Your board is being freshly waxed as we speak. Where's young Broseph?
Johnny: Yeah, he's not gonna wanna continue living after today for real.
Ripper: Nice, one less grommet on my waves!
Johnny: [throws his voice making coughing sounds, alerting Broseph about Ripper] Just Mr. Smith, one of the guests always in the bathroom. Do not recommend going in there right now. So uh what else you have plan for Broseph?
Ripper: We just came up with the perfect idea for Broseph, the suit. [lifts up a smelly orca costume]
Johnny: Ugh, that costume reeks! You know last week someone puked in there. I don't think anyone's ever cleaned it out.
Ripper: Exactly! This is where we separate the men from the groms. I better go check on Reef! [exits]
Wipeout: [walks to the front desk] That's my suit from last week! [exits crying]
Broseph: Nah nah, I'm not wearing that, bro!
Johnny: I don't have a choice, man; I have to make you wear it!
Broseph: That's cool; maybe I'll tell Emma about your mad crush on her.
Johnny: Oops, can't find the suit.
Broseph: '[bumping fists with Johnny] My man!

Take Your Kook to Work Day

[edit]
Broseph: Yo Emma!
Emma: What's up?
Broseph: As your first surf coach, I feel like I should tell you this is not cool, bro.
Fin: The Office is our secret surf spot!
Johnny: Yeah, it's not for kooks, tourists or cute guys who could probably surf way better than me! (Everyone stares at him) Uh, strike that last comment from the record!
Emma: Guys, he's not a kook! Anyway he's just one guy!
Shep: Killer beach, dudes! Um, everything okay?
Emma: Guys!
Broseph: It's cool!
Fin: Whatever!
Reef: Yeah!
Johnny: I'm just thrilled!
Reef: Surf instructor reporting for duty! Any sweet macking honeys ready to get hot for teacher?
Johhny: Reef, this is your surf student, Mr. Chester Grizzle!
Chester: Let's do this thing!
Reef: Him! But that dude's a dude, and he's old, and a dude!
Chester: [hits Reef on the head with his cane] Kids these days—no respect!
Bummer: Indeed, sir, no respect at all!
Reef: [laughs] Yeah I get it, prankin' the new guy; good one, dudes, but seriously, where the honeys at?
Bummer: You will show Mr. Grizzle the finest surf instruction available. [hands Chester a staff e-val] Here's a staff evaluation form sir. Now don't you hold back!
Chester: Heh, I'm going to enjoy this!
Reef: Man, this is total ca-ca!
Chester: Attitude, zero out of ten!
Reef: Okay, okay grandpa, let's catch some white wash.

Waves of Cheese

[edit]
Fin: Guess what movie the Kahuna is screening?! Break Point!
Lo: You asked him to show it?
Fin: More like bribed: I promised I'd clean his bus.
Lo: Wow, you're kind of obsessed with this whole Reef stealing lines thing.
Emma: What do you care what he does?
Fin: It's for the good of womankind.
Lo: [teasing] Whatever, you totally looove him; you want to marry him and have, like, a hundred of his surfer baaabies!
Fin: What, are you serious? No! He is such a tool: he's like the whole tool shed.
Emma: [gasps] You do like him, and you're jealous of that girl Blair!
Fin: I'm so not!
Lo: You wanted to kiss him; admit it!
Fin: I'd rather kiss a dead fish!
Emma: Um, you're cleaning a bus for him?
Fin: No, I'm doing this because girls shouldn't have put up with cheesiness from guys, especially stolen cheesiness. It's time us girls said no to the cheese. No to the cheese guys!
Lo: Wow, that was almost convincing!
Emma: Yeah, you definitely like him!
Fin: No way!
Fin: [behind Reef at the movie] Oh! Reef, look! It's Bell's Beach! Hey, didn't you surf there? How did you stay on your board, even when Boardizafa couldn't?
Reef: [curtly, sounding unimpressed as Fin grins at him] You're getting some kind of sick enjoyment out of this, aren't you?
Fin: [whispering] You have no idea! [smirks at Reef]
Reef: Wait! You knew Break Point was playing tonight, didn't you? [gasps] You got the Kahuna to run it! I am so getting you back for this!
Fin: [mocking] I'm so scaaared! [giggles]

The Very Very Very Very Very Important Guest

[edit]
Bummer: Oh, it has been an honour, sir! Oh, ho! Now, don't forget your giftbag.
Seymour: Ah! Oh, well, thank you. Well, this hotel is fantastic and your staff is absolutely top-drawer.
Bummer: I'll be sure to tell them... ♪ On my way to upper management! ♪
Johnny: Checking out so soon?
Stanley: Not soon enough! I have been ignored and abused by your staff all weekend! This is the worst hotel I've stayed at, and I've been to Siberia!
Johnny: OK, um... how will you be paying?
Stanley: You expect me to PAY?! Fine! Just charge it to my company card!
Johnny: OK, Mr... [reads the name on the card] "Stanley Stevens of Luxury Vacations Magazine"?! Will you... excuse me for one moment?
[Seymour and Bummer laugh]
Bummer: Oh, that's a good one, Mr. S! [chuckles]
Johnny: Uh, Andrew? [whispering] Andrew!
Bummer: Not now, Johnny. And your stay is on us, of course.
Seymour: Oh! Well, that seals it, OK? This truly is the greatest hotel in the universe!
Bummer: Sir, you are too kind, oh! I cannot wiat to read your review.
Seymour: Review? What review?
Bummer: [nudges Seymour's left arm with his shoulder] Oh, Stanley Stevens, you lovable joke-meister, you, heh-heh. Your review? In Luxury Vacations Magazine?
Seymour: Um, there must be a mistake. I'm SEYMOUR Stevens, stamp collector.
Bummer: [his left eye twitches before he wheezes] Huh? What?
Johnny: [whispering] We got the wrong Mr. Stevens!
Bummer: [grabs Johnny's shirt and yanks his close] Where's the REAL Mr. Stevens?
Johnny: He went home early. He was kinda... unhappy with the service.
Bummer: [releases Johnny and collaspes to his knees; Johnny covers his ears] NO-O-O-O-O!
Seymour: Uh, do I still get to keep the bag?
Bummer: Take a hike, you nobody.
Bummer: [via megaphone] Attention staff! People, we've got a code red! I've just received word that a very, very, very, very, very important person will staying at the hotel this weekend: none other than the one and only Mr. Stevens! [groms remain silent] Stanley Stevens! Editor of Luxury Vacations Magazine! a.k.a. the world's toughest travel critic! [the groms still have no idea] His review will make or break this! If we get a ten out of ten, it will put this hotel on the map and put me in line for a major promotion! [dances] I got the moves, got the moves yeah! Therefore I order all of you to give Mr. Stevens the absolute best this establishment has to offer—the finest food, the silkiest sheets, the most pristine pool, and a room in the royal suite!
Lo: [whispering] That's the best room in the hotel—after Daddy's penthouse!
Bummer: For the next 48 hours, we are in V-V-V-V-VIP mode! There will be no slacking off! If you're not on duty, you're helping someone who is! Anyone who messes this up for me is looking at a big fat strike! Any questions?
Reef: Can me and Broseph get the weekend off to catch a seriously sick wave?
Bummer: [using a megaphone] Not a chance, punk! Now people, let's get prepped!

Hang 9

[edit]
Reef: So, how's the ship treating you?
Lo: If this were a real ship, I'd drown myself by now.
Reef: Yeah, I wouldn't want to work here either. [he hits the table, knocking over everything]
Emma: Reef, I just set that table!
Reef: Sorry, I'll clean it up.
Emma: No, not my bird napkins! Those took me a half hour to fold!
Reef: I can fold these for you, [folds the napkin into a ball] see?
Lo: She said a bird, not a turd! [exits]
Emma: Reef, do you mind if we hang out after our shifts? I want to finish resetting so I can get a surf in.
Reef: Yeah, no worries. I should go check on Fin anyway. She's probably dying out there without my expertise!
Emma: Yeah, probably.
Emma: Lo, are you in there? Kelly's looking for you. [sees Fin putting up her uniform] Oh no! Did you get fired?
Fin: Nope, I'm the new surf instructor!
Emma: That's great! [notices Fin's worried expression] Isn't it?
Fin: I can't teach! I taught my little my brother how to ride a bike—he's the only one in grade six with a limp!
Emma: Come on. You taught me how to nose ride this morning!
Fin: That's different; you're no pressure! What if I drown a guest?
Emma: This is the job you came here for! You're a natural! [Fin looks sad] Or maybe Reef's just a much better surfer than you are!
Fin: Yeah, in his dreams! Okay, there's nothing that guy can do that I can't!
Emma: Exactly, hence?
Fin: Okay, okay, I can teach surfing too! Thanks, Emma; your lessons are always on the house.
Emma: Sweet!

Fast Times when the Rip Tide's High

[edit]
Emma: You're wearing your bikini?
Fin: Yeah, I ran out of undies.
Johnny: Didn't anyone show you the staff laundry hut?
Fin: Yes, but I hate doing laundry. I decided to live my whole life in my bikini!
Lo: Eww, that's kind of gross!
Fin: What? It gets clean in the ocean.
Reef: [to Fin] Mornin', Ugly!
Fin: Nice hair, want some scissors?
Lo: [after Reef Splashes water on her] Thanks!
Fin: Oh, they've come up with this great new invention; it's called a towel.
Reef: Where were you?! Obviously not catching up on your beauty sleep!
Broseph: [notices a magazine in Fin's hands] Is that the new Stoked Magazine?
Fin: [holding up the magazine] Yes! Blaine Dixie scored the cover.
Reef: [takes the magazine] So, what's the big deal?
Fin: It's a big deal because girls almost never score the cover of surf magazines.
Emma: It's so not right!
Reef: That's because they suck compared to guys!
[the girls gasp]
Johnny: Oh no, he didn't!
Reef: [shows the centerfold page he is looking at] Now, that I would put on the cover!
Fin: Please tell me you'll never procreate! [motions for Lo and Emma] Come on, girls! [they walk off, noses in the air. Johnny runs to catch up with the girls]
Johnny: Hey, for the record, I think girls are pretty much better at everything.
Emma: Aww! See, that's why you'll have a girlfriend!
Johnny: So you think I'm boyfriend material?
Emma: Definitely! [gasps] You should ask Samantha from the golf course out.
Johnny: [disappointed] Yeah, yeah, I'll do that!
Reef: [laughs] So deep in the friend zone!
Bummer: Listen up, everybody! I got your staff evaluations from yesterday and I have one thing to say! Are you all zombies? Did I accidentally hire the walking dead? [reading e-vals] Four, six, three, seven. Reef, nine out of ten. Very nice. Fin, six.
Reef: Yeeaah, I beat you again!
Fin: No way! There was a rock band on my floor; they had a pig roast in the room!
Reef: Nine out of ten! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! I'm the king of the staff evaluations!
Bummer: I got to say it's encouraging how seriously you're taking guest feedback.
Reef: Oh, we're not! I just want to kick her butt! Told you guys rule!
Bummer: All right, that's enough! You're already late! Out, out, out!
Reef: So, you're still mad at me?
Fin: Yeah, until you take back what you said about female surfers!
Reef: Hey, just because you can't catch the same waves as I can doesn't mean you're any less of a surfer—oh, wait; it does! (Laughs)
Fin: That's it! Okay, I challenge you to a surf off right now!
Reef: I think I hear a toilet calling your name! Fin, come clean me, Fin!
Fin: Scared of getting your butt kicked by a girl?
Reef: Hey, I'm laid-back at lunch time and aggressive at crunch time. Bring it!
Fin: You know we'll get a strike!
Reef: Ha! I laugh at strikes!
Fin: Let's do this!

Reef and That Evil Totem

[edit]
Reef: Hey, it's the Kahuna, up for a quick session, before my first lesson.
The Kahuna: Right on! [spots Reef's necklace] Hey, where did you get that?
Reef: The waterfall! Pretty cool, huh?
The Kahuna: No, dude, hugely not cool! You never take anything from the waterfall, the waterfall goddess will curse you for the rest of you life.
Reef: Yeah, right!
The Kahuna: No, for real, man! The last cat that took something from the Office lost both legs to a shark, now he has to surf on his belly, which is still cool.
Reef: Sounds like a load of baloney.
Reef: FIN! I need your help! [Fin turns off the vacuum] We have to get the totem back from George and return it to the waterfall so the Haiku Goddess chick doesn't keep cursing me!
Fin: Okay, even you couldn't make that up, come on!
Broseph: Nice!
[Reef, Broseph and Fin are in the Penthouse]
Fin: So this is where the princess lives!
Broseph: Whoa!
Fin: Now remember, don't touch anything... [to Reef] especially you, bad luck boy!
[Broseph touches a button on the remote and brings down a flat screen TV]
Broseph: [seeing the TV] Sweet!
Reef: It's a 92 inch flat panel HD Plasma Screen [goes to hug the TV] I didn't know they existed! [he hugs the TV and it falls]
Fin and Broseph: Run!

Chargin' Into The Night

[edit]
Fin: Um, one question, what are we going to do about Bummer? He never leaves! This hotel is like, his life!
Broseph: Dude needs a vacation—or a girlfriend.
Reef: Or maybe just a date. Lo, how's your sweet talkin' skills?
Lo: I don't know— [walks over to Reef and starts flirting with him to demonstrate] but your hair is lookin' so good today, handsome!
Broseph: She's good.
Reef: I think I have a mission for you.
The Kahuna: No can do: Whalebus is parked for the next three hours, bro—double feature night—Sand in My Shorts and Sand in My Bikini. You could check them out.
Bummer: I'd rather eat my own eyeballs.
The Kahuna: Your loss, dude—they're classics.
Kelly: [to Bummer] Now what?
Bummer: Might as well grab a bite.
Kelly: Okay, but this is sooo not a date. Reef said my date was hot!

O Broseph, Where Art Thou

[edit]
Bummer: Unacceptable people, unacceptable! Look at these staff evaluation forms! Fin, 7.5 out of 10!
Fin: Come on that's like a B+!
Bummer: Yeah, I don't know what special school you went to, but a 7.5 means you do better. Reef, 4! Says here, "Needs to spend less time teaching girls mouth to mouth."
Reef: Okay, but the girl I was teaching was an 8 out of 10. So by my count, that puts me at an— [counts on his fingers] 9, 10, 11—12 out of 10! Math dude! [high fives Wipeout]
Wipeout: You're the man!
Bummer: Okay, listen up! From now on, anyone who gets less than an 8 on a staff eval get an automatic strike, and you what three strikes mean!
Lo, Fin, and Reef: We—are—outta—here.
[Emma enters]
Bummer: [sarcastic] Oh, I'm sorry. Did I schedule the staff meeting during rubber ducky time?
Emma: I'm so sorry sir; there was a line up at the staff showers and I was—
Bummer: STRIKE one, and let that be a lesson to the rest of you slackers.
Emma: No! My perfect employee record!
Lo: Oh, that's too bad! By the way, you're out of conditioner.
Emma: [sarcastic] Thanks for the heads up! [takes off her towel revealing her hair]
Reef: [sniffs the air] Ugh! [Johnny gags] Ugh! Dude, what is that reek?
Johnny: [sniffing the air] From the potency of the stank, I say either a toilet backed up or it's—
Reef and Johnny: Broseph! [Reef throws a shoe at Broseph's head]
Broseph: Bikini babe of my dreams, why you head butting me, girl?
Johnny: Broseph, take a bath, man!
Broseph: [yawns] I take a bath everyday in the ocean, when I surf!
Johnny: You need to take a real bath, dude! You smell like a walrus butt!
Broseph: No time, bro: the honeys always hog the shower!

Reef, Broseph and Emma's Totally Stupid Adventure

[edit]
The Kahuna: Whoa, looks like the groms dodged old smokey, done and gone take a leap of faith! You dudes have a nice trip; we'll see you next fall. I don't have a clue what that means.
Reef: So hungry, so thirsty.
Broseph: Dude! [points to a puddle] Water!
[Reef and Broseph drink from the puddle]
Emma: [gasps] No guys, don't drink that—you'll get beaver tail fever!
[after drinking from the puddle]
Broseph: So hungry!
Reef: And she's holding all our food!
Emma: [gasps] Oh no, beaver tail fever!
Broseph: [in a demonic-sounding voice] Give us the tails!
Emma: Never! [runs off, screams]
Reef: [running on all fours after Emma] Beaver Tails!
Broseph: Beaver Tails! [pops out from a shurb] Beaver Tails!
Reef: [still on all fours] Tails! [back at the forest with a demonic-sounding voice] Give us the tails!
Emma: Never!
[stops at a bear]
Reef: Gotcha, hand over the beaver tails!
Emma: No!

Boards of Glory

[edit]
Lo: Morning, family! Hey Daddy, I—
Emma: [grabs Lo's arm] Wait! On a grumpy scale of one to ten, your dad's like a fifty this morning!
Lo: Oh, I'm just gonna suck up to him for a minute!
Mr. Ridgemount: [angry] KELLY! I need to talk to you NOW! [Lo hides behind Emma]
Emma: I think she's hiding under a counter in the supply closet. [Mr. Ridgemount goes to look for Kelly]
Lo: [laughs and grabs a muffin] Nice one! What's hashing on Daddy's mellow today?
Mrs. Ridgemount: [hands Lo the paper] The list of the top ten surf resorts just came out.
Lo: [reading the paper] Surfer's Paradise came in second! [gasps] Captain Ron's came in first!
Mrs. Ridgemount: Ever since he beat your father in that boat race!
Lo: Regatta, Mom! They've been competing since I was little at everything—tennis, swimming, the stock market, how many kids they have!
Mrs. Ridgemount: That's why we had George!
Lo: Every year for the last eight years, we've been number one on that list.
Mrs. Ridgemount: Too bad this isn't a way to stick it to Captain Ron!
Lo: I might have a way! The Staff Tandem Surf Contest is usually right after the top ten, isn't it?
Mrs. Ridgemount: Oh, don't remind him of that, honey!
Lo: Don't worry, Mom! We're going to win it this year and I'm gonna make sure of it. Eww! This has, like, no blueberries!
Reef: Fin, I said I was sorry! I didn't mean to drop you like that; I swear that I had you! [Fin tries to choke Reef] As soon as you have the use of both arms again, I promise to take you out for an awesome date in town. That was not good!
Johnny: I've never seen a shoulder at that angle before! She can scratch her own back so that's a bonus!
Reef: I'm so not getting anywhere with her!
Lo: Ya think? Dislocating a girl's shoulder is definitely not the way to impress her! Now what are we going to do?
Tuna: [laughs snidely] It takes two to tandem, bra! You can send that trophy over anytime, later!
Lo: We're not disqualifying ourselves! We'll have a replacement by Saturday and they'll be awesome! [to Reef] Okay, we have to find another girl! I'd do it but I'm ineligible, plus I need both my arms to dry my hair.
Johnny: Emma can barely surf on her own and Kelly doesn't surf at all!
Reef: For the love of wax, isn't there one single female at this hotel who can surf?
Rosie: I'll do it! I used to be quite the board rider in my day.
Reef: Uh—no thanks Rosie!
Johnny: Well, it was a good dream!
Reef: I can't believe I dropped her!
Lo: [sighs] I was so close!

Groms Gone Wild!

[edit]
Bummer: The topic for today's morning psych up—love the guest more than you love yourself. Broseph?
Broseph: Yo!
Bummer: If a guest asked you to use your hand to blow their nose, what do you do?
Broseph: Uh, run?
Bummer: Wrong! You say, "Here you go, sir. Do you prefer my left or my right?" Emma! If a guest asked asked you to bob for apples in the lobby toilet, what do you say?
Emma: "Eww!"
Bummer: Wrong! You say, "Madam, would you like me to Macintosh or Golden Delicious?" [laughs; sees Wipeout trying to get a bee] Oh, I'm sorry. Am I disturbing you? [Wipeout shakes his head] Remember, you are here for one reason and one reason only.
Reef: To ride the most Quantum Epic off the Richter waves?
Bummer: Wrong! To serve the guest and make their stay the best ever anywhere!
Reef: Six in one, half dozen of the other.
Broseph: Johnny, mind if I take a breather?
Johnny: Fun rule number one, if you need a break, you take a break.
Broseph: Dude you're the bossest!
Johnny: Bossest, I like the sound of that.

Chum Music

[edit]
Ripper: Ah! This is it! The ultimate kick back spot! Sweet waves! Soft sand! Epic view! And best of all rocks shaped like easy chairs! And we shall call it...[sighs] Chillaxland!
Ty: Cool!
Lance: [laughs] Chillaxland!
Reef: Awesome loca dudes!
Ripper: Only problem with a perfect beach spot! You never know what kind of garbage is gonna wash up!
Reef: This place rocks! Let's call it Reefdom! No, Reeftopia!
Ripper: It's already got a name! Chillaxland! Population, us! Not you!
Ty: Sorry Reef, it's kind of the exclusive property of our surf crew!
Reef: Cool, I'm totally into excluding people! Where do I sign up?
Ripper: Ya can't!
Reef: What! Why not?
Ripper: Because we said so, grom! Now get!
Reef: That's how you want it! I challenge you bums to a surf down! My crew versus your crew! [Lance, Ty and Ripper laugh]
Ripper: You had us worried, mate! But then we remember you don't have a crew!
Reef: Yet! But as soon as I get one its on!
Ripper: Okay! The winners get Chillaxland!
Reef: Reeftopia!
Ripper: And the losers get to eat fish guts! So bring your appetite!
Reef: No, you bring yours! Cause you're goin' down, suckers! [walks into his board]
[Ty, Lance and Ripper laugh]
Emma: [sighs] I kind of had a boyfriend in Calgary but it didn't work out! He said I was nice! Like a sister nice!
Johnny: I know how that feels!
Emma: Oh thanks, Johnny! You're so nice like a brother, you know?
Fin: My last boyfriend was all touchy feely! An octopus with fingers!
Lo: Too bad for you! My guy's awesome!
Emma: You have a guy?
Lo: Sure, Stone Seabreeze! [they all gasp]
Fin: The Stone Seabreeze?!
Emma: The famous singer!
Broseph: The famous surfer!
Johnny: The famous singer-surfer!
Lo: So you heard of him?
Fin: Seriously! You and Stone Seabreeze!
Lo: Seriously! When have I ever lied to you guys? He's a total sweetie! I meet him last year when he stayed at the resort!
Johnny: Why had you never told us?
Lo: We want to keep on the down low! Stay out of the tabloids!
Emma: What's he like? Is he romantic like his songs?
Fin: Is he a killer surfer?
Broseph: Is he a good kisser? [everyone looks at Broseph] What?
Lo: Yes, yes and yes! Come on guys! I don't want to brag about Stonie! It kind of cheapens our thing, you know?
Emma: Aww, you call him Stonie.
Everyone: Awwwww!

Penthouse of Horror

[edit]
Bummer: I was trying to scare you slackers so I could have this sweet crash pad to myself, and I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you meddling groms!
Reef: Hey bro, how come Bummer doesn't want us to play frisbee inside? [throws the frisbee to Broseph]
Broseph: Huh, can't remember, bro. [throws frisbee]
[frisbee hits a female guest]
Female Teen: Ow, my nose! [covering her nose] Now I'll never be a teen model.
Reef: Come on, it doesn't look so bad. [shows Reef her nose] Eww, how do you feel about telemarketing? [female teen runs away crying] Go long! [throws frisbee to Broseph until it hits Emma]
Emma: [after getting hit by the frisbee] Ow!
Reef: [concerned] Emma, are you okay?
Emma: I'm better than okay, I'm 10 out of 10!
Broseph: Got that right, betty! [makes a gesture]

Mr. Wahine

[edit]
Reef: [to himself in the mirror] Who's a sexy betty? Oh yeah, I'm a sexy betty! [to Lo] Uh, it's not what it looks like.
Lo: You're dressing like a girl to beat Fin in the Battle of the Betties!
Reef: Okay, it's exactly what it looks like.
Lo: You need to definitely work on your look, even a blind judge wouldn't think those were real. [shows Reef's uneven chest]
Reef: Whatever, I'm just as hot a girl as I am a guy, see? [a ball pops out from Reef's top]
Lo: Oh sweetie, no beauty and no brains! Come on, time for a man makeover.
Reef: [about his look] That's too much eye liner.
Lo: No it's not, you look good.
Reef: I want to look classy good, not cheap good! [applies some more eyeliner] Now, let's check out some swim wear. [going through Lo's locker for swimwear] No, no, no, absolutely not, [pulls out a red swimsuit] here it is.
Lo: No way, that's one of my faves.
Reef: Come on, I'll give it back.
Lo: Eww, like I'd wear it again after it held your junk!
Reef: After I win, I will pay double what they cost.
Lo: You better win!
Reef: [looking in the mirror] Sandy Beaches has never lost.
Lo: Now you're just creeping me out.

Grand Theft Whale Bus

[edit]
Johnny: You have to promise to keep this quiet, I just became strikeless!
Emma: We may have to tell Lo!
Johnny: Lo! Why?
Emma: Because you're about to run her over!
Johnny: Ahhh! [slams the breaks]
Lo: Anyone going to the beach bash!
Johnny: Okay! [using the external speakers] You can come too, but you have to stop doing that thing with your thumbs!
Lo: Eeee!
Lo and Emma: Yay!
[Broseph knocks on the window]
Johnny: Huh! [sees Broseph] I guess one more can't hurt! [sighs]
Broseph: My man!
Reef: Hey since your heading too town! Can we snag a lift?
Johnny: No, no, no you cannot! I, I can't take this many people on the bus! I shouldn't be taking anyone!
Reef: Oh, I get it! It's because we're not strikeless like you! Sorry dudes, guess Mr. Prefect thinks he's better than us!
Emma: [gasps] You don't really think that, do you, Johnny?
Johnny: No, no, of course not!
Lo: Cool, then you can drive all of us!
Johnny: Fine, just hurry up and get in!
Reef: Oh, and what do we have here! [dangles a ticket in front of Johnny] A spare ticket for Johnny to come to the bash with us! Are we buds or what?
Emma: They're all hitchhiking to the same place we're going! How lucky is that?
Johnny: Yep, just call me Mr. Lucky!
Johnny: [being carried on Reef's surfboard] I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead!
Broseph: [as Johnny goes blank] Dude, dude! [waves his hand in front of Johnny] Dang! Someone get the dude a chillow!
Lo: They're in the bus!
Broseph: Uh oh!
Bummer: [resort video] And why not try a delicious Wipeout Whale seafood stick! Now with seven percent real seafood!
Johnny: No food or drinks on the bus! And seatbelts on, and don't touch anything! And no farting! [hears someone fart]
Lo: Wow padded foot rest, sweet!
Fin: Whoa the seats recline!
Bummer: [on the resort video] Welcome to Surfer's Paradise, dudes!
Reef: Check it out, it's the new resort video! Bummer looks lamer than usual!
Johnny: [hears someone open a bag] Stop eating the cashews! They are for resort guest only!
Broseph: [eating cashews] If they weren't meant to be eaten, why did they put them in easy-to-open packages? Think about it, bro!
Emma: It's okay Johnny, everyone needs a little fun sometimes, even you! [puts her hand on his shoulder]
Johnny: Maybe you're right, I could use a little more fun, yeah! How about we see what these old whale wheels can do!
Emma: Woohoo, yeah!

A Boy Named Leslie

[edit]
Reef's mom: How's my little Leslie?
Emma and Fin: Leslie? [both laugh]
Reef: Moms, what are you doing all the way out here and why didn't you call first?
Reef's mom: Well I wanted to surprise you, sweetpea. And look. I brought someone special with me. [pulls out a stuffed animal] Ta-da! You never could sleep without wittle piggy! [Emma and Fin laugh] Are these your friends, honey?
Fin: Nice to meet you. Yes, we're very good friends with Leslie. [Emma and Fin laugh]
Reef: [carrying a pile of paper slips] Read 'em and weep, bras. Every phone number of every bikini babe from here to Bali. Now, who do I call first. [Reef's mom laughs] Moms?
Broseph: Uh, bit of a weird choice, dude.
Reef's mom: Oh hi, honey! These nice young ladies offered to do my hair!
Fin: In exchange for stories about [in baby tone] little Leslie!
Lo: Oh! Tell us again how you invented your own stain remover for his skid marks. [Reef screams]

Who Knows What Evil Lurks In The Heart Of Clam?

[edit]
Fin: You okay? Or should I call animal control? Come on.
Johnny: Somebody's jealous.
Reef: Jealous? Of some dude who's probably gonna hug and kiss Fin before I do. Right, as if.
Johnny: Because if you were, you could always flirt with someone else and make her jealous back.
Reef: Yeah! Two can play at that game... uh, I mean, if I were jealous, I could. Which I'm not.
Johnny: Okay, okay. Suit yourself. He's totally jealous.
Broseph: No doubt.
Fin: They got the suit!
Captain Clam: Hey guys! Quality punk!
Bummer: And the guy in the suit? We're clam-nappers! We're all going to burn! We're all going to jail all for clam-napping!
Johnny: Whoa, whoa! Speak for yourself! I didn't nap any clam.
Bummer: What'll it take for you to keep quiet about this. A hat? A T-shirt? A snowglobe? Two snowglobes?
Captain Clam: Nah, don't worry about it. I should thank you. You did me a favor.

Slumber Party Animals

[edit]
Emma: Oh, a whole weekend without Ty? What am I supposed to do for 48 hours?
Lo: You might wanna get a hobby.
Reef: Yo, Lo. Bummer wants you in the DR. Some kid rejected his clam chowder, as in [makes barfing sounds then laughs]
Lo: Puke pickup? Could life possibly get any worse?
Reef: [after a seagull defecates on him] SEAGULL!
Lo: Huh, I guess it could.
Emma: Lo called in a bomb threat.
Fin: Uh, what?! What's wrong with you, anyway? You've been flavored ever since we got up here!
Lo: Maybe cause my mom is such a train wreck? All I wanted was a night of luxury with the girls and she's totally embarrassing me!
Fin: Oh come on! She's not that bad.
Mrs. Ridgemount: WHOO! [sips an energy drink] These things are rad, y'all!
Emma: Anyway, you should just tell her what's going on. She's so chill.
Mrs. Ridgemount: Anyone wanna give me pink highlights? Or how about a makeup sesh? I have glitter!
Emma: Okay, "chill" may be the wrong word.
Fin: But you should totally tell her before it's too late!
Lo: No biggie. I'm sure whoever's on their way to deal with this will be totally cool.
Mr. Ridgemount: Sit tight princess, we'll have you out in a minute!
Lo: Daddy?!

Endless Bummer

[edit]
Reef: Oh man, this is gonna be so sick!
Fin: How much do you think one dude can lose it? [imagines Bummer driving his golf cart at the guest then into the pool]
Reef: No no, check this. [imagines Bummer chainsawing the Wipeout statue in the lobby]
Broseph: No, dudes, I got it! [imagines Bummer blowing up the hotel, then riding a Wipeout costume while laughing hysterically]
Broseph, Fin, and Reef: Righteous.
Fin: Sh! Guys, here he comes!
Reef: Cameras ready! And action! [Bummer starts crying] Hehehe—wait, this isn't funny, is it? [Broseph and Fin shake their heads] Darn it!
Emma: [reading a magazine] "To get past your crush, find a new frog to kiss. There just might be a prince underneath." Hey Johnny, um, with Bummer all AWOL, I was thinking, do you wanna maybe, like, go on a lunch date? [Johnny freezes in shock] Johnny?
Johnny: [pulls out a card and recites it quickly] "I, Johnny Front Desk Guy, promise you, Emma, the absolute, most awesome you've ever been on in your entire life!"
Emma: Great, but what's with the card?
Johnny: Are you kidding? I've been waiting on this since, like, forever! I got a date with Emma!
Emma: Wow. He is really into lunch.

Cast

[edit]
[edit]
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