Strange Days at Blake Holsey High

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Strange Days at Blake Holsey High is a science fiction television program that began airing in 2002, that revolves around the students and staff at a fictional boarding school where events of a supernatural and/or paranormal nature are commonplace.

Narration during opening credits[edit]

  • [Seasons 1 and 2]
Josie Trent: Blake Holsey High, Just another boarding school, or so I thought. But things are a little different here. I've made some friends. Even got a cool teacher. The principal is definitely hiding something. And this guy, Victor Pearson...somehow he's behind all the really weird stuff that happens here. We'll figure it out. But in the meantime, these are strange days at Blake Holsey High.
  • [Season 3]
Josie Trent: Blake Holsey High, it's not your average boarding school. Not even close. Things are a little different here. See, I've stumbled onto a mystery with my friends. I've got a cool teacher, but the principal is definitely hiding something. And this guy, Victor Pearson; somehow he's behind all the really weird stuff that happens here. Is that floating ball of his the key to the mystery? We're getting closer. But in the meantime, these are strange days at Blake Holsey High.
  • [UK Version]
Josie Trent: Ok...So my mum drops me off at this boarding school, and i'm thinking, its like all the other places i've gone. Students, Teachers, Principal, you know like normal schools, but its not! Weird stuff happens here, really weird stuff. And whats this guy doing here? Something's going on and someone's behind it. And we're going to get to the bottom of it.
Principal Durst: There is nothing wrong at Blake Holsey High.

Season 1[edit]


Professor Z: We were just discussing the possible molecular deconstruction of a science teacher.

Josie Trent: Cells are made up of molecules, molecules are made up of atoms, and once you start dealing with atoms Quantum Mechanics kicks in, then all the rules go out the window. Ergo, you can take an atom apart to the subatomic level, and put it back together again. In theory, you can molecularly deconstruct anything. Plants, chewing gum or even something less complex, like a science teacher.


[Marshall has become invisible]
Professor Z: If I didn't not see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't be believe it...
Corrine: This is incredible!
Marshall: Yes, it is.
Lucas: No, it's not. Marshall's invisible and we don't know what this means. Besides, I don't want an invisible friend - people will think I'm crazy... er.

Corrine: This is impossible.
Marshall: I'm thinking being at Black Hole High and being that I am invisible, it may be... possible.
Professor Z: This is amazing... I love teaching here.
Marshall: And I love being invisible - for the first time, people are going to notice me.
Professor Z: Okay, Marshall, I know that this is probably very fun, but we do need to find a way to get you back. And until we do, I need you to stay here, okay? Promise me that.
[Sound of footsteps and a door closing]
Professor Z: He's gone, isn't it?

Corrine: Wai-wai-wait, my favourite Marshall story has to be the time he dressed up like Principal Durst for Halloween.
Lucas: Or remember the time his genetically engineered soap turned his skin green?
Professor Z: Or how about when he thought the unit of measure for energy was the Newton? Not the Joule, the Newton... [blank looks from the kids] I guess you had to be there.
Corrine: I really hope Marshall comes back.
Josie: Me too. I can't believe I freaked on him for stealing my journal. Okay, I freaked on everyone, but that's so not Marshall.
Corrine: Not a chance.
Lucas: No way.
Marshall: Yeah, Marshall's the best. You guys were talking about me - you miss me.
Corrine: Yeah, we do.
Josie: I think I speak for everyone when I say the novelty of having an invisible friend has worn off.

Marshall: Guys, it feels really good what you're saying and I feel that you really see me, but it's not working, I'm still fading. It doesn't make any sense.
Professor Z: Yes, it does. Think about it - you thought no one saw you, but they did. Now who here still doesn't see you?
Marshall: ... Me. I didn't see me. I was the one who didn't see me all along.
Professor Z: Marshall, don't underestimate mind-over-matter.
Marshall: The truth is, I do see me. I see my good side, I see my bad side, I see all of me. You see me, I see me, I see my foot. I see my foot! Hands, arms, legs, body... I'm back! I'm back! I'm back. I'm back! I'M BACK!

(Hums as he wanders out the classroom)


Professor Z: And Vaughn! Ah... your project is the invisible...?
Vaughn: It's nothing.
Professor Z: It is an excellent nothing. You knew this assignment was worth 10% of your final mark, right?
Vaughn: I know. I didn't do the assignments. I, uh, I don't get science.
Professor Z: Give it a chance, Vaughn.

[Vaughn walks into the science lab]
Professor Z: So, what Galileo said, quite simply was ... can I help you, Vaughn?
Vaughn: Yeah, I'm, uh, here for the Science Club.
Professor Z: Ah, yes, Principal Durst spoke to me about that. Have a seat. Do you know everyone?
Vaughn: Yeah, uh, I think so, uh, "Miss Goody Goody" [Corrine], "High Pint" [Lucas], "Big-Brain" [Marshall], oh yeah, and the "Girl-who-electrocuted-herself-earlier" [Josie].
Professor Z: Uh, yeah, well, names are irrelevant, in science, I've even heard that some called Einstein "Hair-boy."

[After witnessing Josie's magnetic powers moving Vaughn on a chair]
Professor Z: Josie...?
Josie: Sorry.
Professor Z: No, no, no, no, don't be sorry... I mean, be sorry, but... how did you...?
Josie: I just kind of happened...
Professor Z: No, a human magnet doesn't just happen.

Professor Z: Incredible... incredible, we have to find out more. Does anyone have any theories?
Marshall: Well, electricity can turn metal into a magnet.
Corrine: Yeah, so, why not a human?
Vaughn: What are you all talking about?
Lucas: It's called science. It's what we do here.

Professor Z: I know there's iron in everyone's system, I just didn't think there was enough to become magnetized.
Lucas: Five words, Professor Z: we're at Black Hole High.
Marshall: Actually, that's uh, that's six words, because "we're" is a contraction... of "we" and "are"...
Corrine: And since we're on top of a black hole, all the rules of science go out... the window.
Vaughn: Wh-what black hole?
Lucas: I thought she said she had a bad cold.
Corrine: Yeah, that's what I said.
Professor Z: We'll talk about it later, Vaughn.

Josie: Uh, excuse me? Human fork holder here. If I'm not important, I can just go.
Professor Z: No, no, no, wait, you can't. We don't know what going to happen. I mean, hopefully, this charge will just drain from you. But until then, it's a good opportunity to, um... study you.
Josie: Great, just what I always wanted. To be an experiment.

Professor Z: Please tell me you had nothing to do with what happened upstairs.
Corrine: I had nothing to do with what happened upstairs.
Marshall: Don't look at me.
Lucas: I wasn't even near the place.
Vaughn: I was in my room.
Josie: Oh, so it's every man for himself, huh? No problem, I'm used to it.

Professor Z: Vaughn, find me some conduit.
Vaughn: Got it! [Runs to the door and stops abruptly]
Professor Z: It's insulator wire, Vaughn. About 50 ft.

Professor Z: How are you doing, Josie?
Josie: Great. What more could a girl want than to be able to power a whole city. You know, having all this power was so much fun. I could control everything, everyone. But now that it controls me... it's not so fun anymore.
Professor Z: This is probably none of my business whatsoever, but you did seem very happy here at Blake Holsey, and tt's like you don't even want to fit in.
Josie: I don't. My mom's dumped me at a lot of schools, what works best for me is being the outsider.
Professor Z: Oh, okay, I get it, I get it. Why get too close to someone if you're going to have to leave, anyway?
Josie: Gotta go with what works.
Professor Z: And... how has that been working for you, Josie?
Josie: Great, I'm totally in control.
Professor Z: Are you?
Josie: Hey, wait, this is completely different. The only thing that's the same is that... people... can't get close to me.
Professor Z: No. Not even the people who care about you.

Josie: Uh, Professor Z? You know what you're doing, right?
Professor Z: Yeah. I just... never done it before.


Corrine: [walking late into class] I know I'm late, I know there's a pop quiz, I know I'm not supposed to know that 'cause it takes the pop out of it. I know I don't have a pencil, I know Josie stole my pencil, I know Lucas has this crazy idea about the full moon affecting my mood which now I think isn't so crazy. I know I'm out of line and I know I'm going to Principal Durst's office right now.
[Corrine leaves the class]

Principal Durst: I wish someone would break that statue. I've hated it ever since Mr. Pearson gave it to me. I'd scream in delight I'd imagine.


Professor Z: ... Lucas, what happened to your hand?
Lucas: It's where the mayfly bit me. It just looks bad, I'm fine...
Josie: ... Well, it doesn't look like a regular bug bite to me.
Professor Z: I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. [Gets a better look at the bug bite] ... Then again, this is a fairly odd school, so if any of you are really worried, I'm sure you can find some books on the mayflies in the library, that's if you're really-
[All the kids except Lucas leave in the hurry]
Professor Z: -worried.

Principal Durst: [to a mirror] I've had it with Blake Holsey High. Everything isn't all right here. I'm tired of disappearing professors and I'm tired of covering for you, Mr. Pearson. I am an educator and I had forgotten that.
Victor Pearson: Practising your resignation speech?

Marshall: If you're really Lucas, what did we do last summer at science camp?
Adult Lucas: What didn't we do? We put dye in the pool so everyone's hair turned blue, we were the runner up in the robot wars competition and you dressed up like a girl and won the camp beauty contest.
Marshall: Hey! You swore you'd never tell anyone about that! Lucas?

Professor Z: Remarkable... but what could cause such rapid aging?
All the kids except Lucas: Bug bite.

Victor Pearson: I like you, young man. You remind me of myself when I was your age. Very direct. Very assertive. Very fired.

Josie: There's gotta be something we can do. Something we've missed.
Professor Z: Can't think of anything. Maybe Lucas is doing something to help himself. Sometimes in even in science we have to learn to just... trust.
Elderly Lucas: I got a big apology to make to you little fella. Huh, I only meant to enjoy you, I didn't mean to cheat you out of your life. I blew it. I wanted to grow up too fast. I should have let nature run its natural course and not worry about being picked last on the softball team. [He releases the mayfly] Enjoy! Enjoy...
Lucas: [returns to his original age] Hey, guys! I'm back!


Josie: [seeing Victor as a science teacher] Mr. Pearson, I... I... when did you get hair?

Young Durst: [talking to herself after yelling at Victor] I've never yelled at a student before. I like it.


Lucas: So how do we know which one is Josie?
Josie: Are you kidding me, Lucas, if you had half a brain you'd be dangerous!
Lucas: Ouch, that's definitely Josie.
Corrine: Maybe, she's like your identical twin?
Josie: But I don't have an identical twin.
Marshall: Maybe you've been cloned.
Josie: [looks at Marshall] Remember that half a brain comment I just made to Lucas? Well, I think I just found the other half.

Lucas: [to Professor Z] So you're saying we grew a Josie from a petri dish? Does this mean we all get an "A"?

Professor Z: You should ask her.
Josie: Yeah right, like she's going to listen to me.
Professor Z: But it doesn't matter. You can listen to her. And I mean really listen - no judging and defending. Really listen. Because however much history you have with her, she has the same with you.


Josie: Yesterday, Lucas changed his future by cheating his friends, now he doesn't have any.

Professor Z: We have a problem, the school is going to disappear.


Professor Z: Let's recap what I know.
Marshall: Well, I became invisible, Lucas aged sixty five years, Corrine lived the same day over and over, Josie and Vaughn went back in time.
Corrine: What we know is that the school has issues.
Lucas: I'm telling you it's all connected.
Professor Z: Okay. But how?
Josie: I don't know. But if we're listing the strange things at this school, don't forget about the black hole.

Principal Durst: You were saying something about a wormhole?
Professor Z: Yes, we were discussing... wormholes... as part of our discussion... on, uh, worms.
Principal Durst: I see. [referring to Professor Z's drawing on the chalkboard] What's that drawing on the board?
Professor Zachary: This is the hole... where the worms live.


Professor Z: I wanted to discuss Vaughn's progress.
Victor Pearson: Very well. He is progressing, isn't he?
Professor Z: Yes and no.
Victor Pearson: Well, which is it?
Professor Z: Both. Kind of.

Lucas: I can't believe he plays guitar!
Vaughn: I can't believe how many girls dig guitar players!
Josie: I can't believe how good he is!
Principal Durst: I can't believe you're not in class.
Corrine: I can't believe how much trouble I'm in.

Corrine: Big memories are called islands of memories.
Vaughn: Like scoring the winning touchdown.
Marshall: Or winning your first science medal.
Lucas: Or your first pair of big-boy underwear.
[Everyone stares at him]
Lucas: Like it wasn't big to you guys!

Marshall: And that is how Mendel used pea plants to explain demonstrate how traits are inherited when they reproduce.
Professor Z: Reproduce. How does that work?
Lucas: Reproduction. You know, the birds and the bees.
Professor Z: Explain it to me.
Marshall: There is no way I am giving him the talk. My dad had a hard enough time explaining it to me.

Professor Z: Where did I get my degree? That's a good question... do you have any others?
Principal Durst: ... What did you say?
[Z sees Josie holding a pen at the window]
Professor Z: Pen!
Victor Pearson: Yes, the University of Pennsylvania, my alma mater as well.
Professor Z: Yeah, that's where I went. I just remembered, I graduated magna cum laud. Go, Quakers!
Victor Pearson: ... Yes, go, Quakers.

Victor Pearson: Congratulations, Professor, and Professor... Zachary, we'll be keeping an eye on you.
Professor Z: Yes... Go, Quakers!
Victor Pearson: Go, Quakers.


Josie: [to Vaughn] I thought you were some kind of super jock.


Principal Durst: Blake Holsey has to be perfect. We can start with your office, Professor Zachary. It always looks like a hurricane hit it in there.

Principal Durst: Chaos theory? Why read about it when the school's living it?
The Janitor: The school is beyond chaos...


Josie: You were right, Vaughn, that guy cannot be trusted.

Josie: It's all a set up. Victor Pearson is checking out the school tonight.

Season 2[edit]

Wormhole 2[edit]

Victor Pearson: [hearing noises from Josie and Professor Z in the other room] Sounds like we may have rats. Large ones.


Marshall: First grade was the best five years of Stew's life.


Professor Z: I suppose you're wondering why I'm telling you this.
Lucas: Because they pay you?
Professor Z: Excellent, Lucas. No! Because this man [points to Marshall] is the poster child for disease transmission.

Principal Durst: Sick building syndrome?
Professor Z: Right. SBS. It's a very common problem in new buildings.
Principal Durst: But this building's over 150 years old.
Professor Z: Yes. But when it was built, it was new.

Professor Z: Okay, Corrine, Vaughn, you come with me to check out the basement. Josie, Lucas, get rubber gloves and whatever else you think you need to protect yourselves and start checking out that server.
Lucas: You're loving this, aren't you?
Professor Z: I'm in my happy place. Let's move.

Marshall: I know what you're thinking. I'm begging you - I can still fix this.
Professor Z: If I felt we could save it, we would never do what we're about to do. [Marshall winces.] DIRTY SERVER, COMING THROUGH!

Vaughn: Hey, Marshall. You almost done cleaning up the second floor?
Marshall: Next time Durst gives me a choice between mopping goo and a month of detention, I'm taking the detention.


Lucas: [to Katya as he passes Josie and Corrine] Hey, babe.
Josie: [to Corrine] Please tell me he did not just say that to us.


Marshall: Z just told me. If it's true, what's Vaughn's middle name?
Vaughn, as Lucas: Jodie.
Marshall: And when's your birthday?
Vaughn, as Lucas: June 17th.
Marshall: What is up with you and Madison?
Vaughn, as Lucas: None of your business.
Marshall: Okay, final question, something Lucas couldn't possible know: it's third and long, and you're on you're own, 30 yard line, what do you do?
Vaughn, as Lucas: Fake hand-off, reverse wide, throw long.
Marshall: It is true. Your middle name's Jodie? [snickers]

Lucas, as Vaughn: Tell me you're having some luck with that thing?
Marshall: I can't - looks like a problem with the circuit board.
Corrine: Professor Z's trying to hunt one down.
Professor Z: Well, the good news is that I found a German company that can make the replacement circuit board.
Vaughn, as Lucas: And the bad news?
Professor Z: It'll take three months to get here.
Lucas, as Vaughn: Three months?
Marshall: We'll have to fix it our selves.

Lucas, as Vaughn: I don't really have to go to Victor Pearson's house, do I?
Professor Z: Just try to act normal
Lucas, as Vaughn: Normal left the building a long time ago.

Josie: [to Corrine] What? I always put on lipgloss.
[Corrine gives her a look]
Josie: Well, when I'm acting.

Lucas: Best part about being you - no question, being popular. You go.
Vaughn: Let's see, best part about being you... reading. Oh, and uh, kissing Josie was okay.
Lucas: Wait, you got my first kiss? How was I?
Vaughn: Well, I think she likes you.
Lucas: You mean she likes you. You're the one she kissed.
Vaughn: Yes, but those were your lips doing the work.
Lucas: Well, they were worth it.


Professor Z: So, Josie has picked mercury - a metal that is liquid at room temperature. It is also easily combustible and in some circumstances -
[Josie stabs another proton into her model]
Professor Z: -highly volitile. Excellent choice, Josie. What element did you choose, Corrine?
Corrine: Carbon.
Professor Z: Nature's drill bit.
Corrine: You know, diamonds are made of pure carbon.
Professor Z: Marshall?
Marshall: Huh?
Professor Z: When the stars exploded and formed all the elements on the periodic table, I don't thing there was one called "huh"? Try again, Marshall.
Marshall: Okay, I chose - [sticks two protons onto his model]
Professor Z: Helium.
Marshall: Yeah. It's fun to have at parties. Always a gas.

Lucas: Professor Z, you're not going to believe this-
Corrine: -something's happened to-
Professor Z: -Marshall?
Corrine: How did you know?
Professor Z: Well, let's just say seeing his atomic model floating above his desk was my first clue.

Professor Z: I don't want to alarm anyone unduly, but first the model was helium and Marshall was floating, correct? And now the model has become oxygen - and so has Marshall.
Corrine: And if Marshall's moving from helium to oxygen, he's moving up the periodic table.
Lucas: [to Marshall] Hey, maybe somewhere along the way, you'll turn into platinum. They gotta let you into the band if you become platinum.
Josie: Lucas, at the rate Marshall's going, he could end up here - uranium.

Marshall: (coughs) I smell like a swimming pool! What is happening to me?
Professor Z: I'm afraid you've become chlorine.
Marshall: What made that happen?
Professor Z: You did! I think we've made a connection between your feelings about your brother and your newly volitile relationship with the elements - [points at periodic table] -of the periodic table.
Marshall: We did...?
Professor Z: And I don't think it has anything to do with magnets or music, does it?

Professor Z: You must be sodium... I- I mean, Marshall's brother.


Lucas: I don't get it - how can the sponges be multiplying and so fast?
Professor Z: Not to mentioning maturing. If we can find their food source, we might find the answer.
Principal Durst: My... heavens...
Professor Z: I suppose you want an explanation for this?
Principal Durst: Is the truth going to please me?
Professor Z: ... No.
Principal Durst: Then don't tell me, just.. fix it. [sponge falls on her head] Quickly.

Principal Durst: As an educator, as an administrator, as a woman who doesn't like finding things like this [gestures to a sponge on a plate] in her work space, I am angry and confused. Not only for myself, but also for children in my charge. No, you'll have your chance to talk. Now, Blake Holsey promises its student an environment that is conducive to learning, and the development of lifelong friendships, not a sogging invertebrate in every lunch bag! Now, you have examined this school time and again, but in light of this development, I demand you give me the results that you've been withholding!

Victor Pearson: I would like a briefing on Professor Zachery's experiments, the one filling the school with invertebrates.
Principal Durst: Now-
Victor Pearson: He prattled on about phylogeny and students' educations, but I'm sure I don't need to remind you that unwanted attention of any kind would far outweigh whatever benefits this... experiment might yield! Am I clear?
Principal Durst: ... as crystal. I'll see to it myself.

Lucas: What if they're not really sponges? What if they're aliens and it's our job to save them?
(Z and Corrine glare at him)
Lucas: Just ignore me.

Marshall: Well, good news. I just got through to the aquarium.
Professor Z: And?
Marshall: They'll take three.

[Lucas, Marshall, and Professor Z listen to an annoying song in hopes the sponges disappear]
Lucas: I don't know about the sponges, but I want to leave.
Marshall: Maybe we need something even more annoying?
Professor Z: I've got Moe Austernach's Polka Time.
[Lucas and Marshall look at Z]
Professsor Z: It was a gift.

Corrine: You're hot for Vaughn.
Josie: I am not!
Corrine: Yes, you are.
Josie: Okay, well, you have a thing for Marshall.
Corrine: No, I do not! Do I?


Josie: Billions of dollars of research going to make brainless conversation easier.


Principal Durst: Professor Zachary! Is that... Lucas? Wh-what..? He's dressed like the Invisible Man!
Professor Z: I'm... doing a lesson on the science of H.G. Wells' stories...
Marshall: He's some kind of teacher, huh, Principal Durst?
Principal Durst: I just wish I knew what kind...

[after Marshall regains solid form]
Lucas: How do you feel?
Marshall: Surprisingly a little thirsty.

Corrine: I am so sorry about all of this.
Marshall: Wasn't your fault I vapourized. But.. uh, you figured out how to get me back... in time for the competition.
Corrine: One thing that takes is a team, and I don't have one any more, do I?
Marshall: Sure you do. I'm re-enlisting.
Lucas: Sign me up.
Vaughn: Me too, captain.
Josie: Okay.
Corrine: Thanks, guys.

Victor Pearson: Vaughn, you, uh, didn't embarrass me. Well done.
Vaughn: Thanks, Dad!


Mirror Victor: This one, she didn't audition.
Mirror Durst: Oh, of course she did, Victor! You said she was formidable.
Mirror Victor: Formidable... that sounds like something I might have said.

[Looking at the cracked mirror]
Corrine: Not exactly 100%, is it?
Mirror Professor Z: But, very Picasso.

The Janitor: Having a backwards day?
Corrine: How did you know? So, I'm stuck here on this side of the mirror and I can't get back.
The Janitor: You can when you're ready.
Corrine: How do I know when I'm ready?
The Janitor: You'll be able to get back.
Corrine: That's what I'm doing here? To get in touch with my creative side, be more right-brained, right?
The Janitor: But that doesn't mean you should lose touch with your left.
Corrine: My left brain? My logical side?
The Janitor: If you don't keep it up, you might lose it.

[Everyone is standing on their heads]
Mirror Josie: It's a proven way to enhance your creativity.
Mirror Vaughn: Explore solutions from a different point of view.
Mirror Lucas: Can we get down now? My head hurts.
Corrine: Where I come from, we do the same technique in scientific investigation. Only, we talk through the problem from an upside-down perspective.
Mirror Professor Z: Proving that science is creative and the arts are scientific.

Mirror Josie: Wait, wait, the mirror wasn't broken when you went through it. You need a new one!
Corrine: Josie, that's brilliant! Kind of like the other you, except you're a skater-chick who hates pink.
Mirror Josie: No way!
Corrine: Plus you have a thing for Vaughn. [to Vaughn] And you're the captain of the football team, plus you get Ds in English.
Mirror Vaughn: It's my best subject.
Corrine: Lucas, you're a conspiracy freak. And you get bullied by a guy named Kubiak.
Mirror Lucas: [laughs] Stew? I'm directing him in Hamlet.
Corrine: [to Z] And you are a very fine scientist and our friend.
Mirror Z: I'm glad.
Mirror Marshall: And what about me?
Corrine: You don't talk about your emotions. You're kind of a hustler and a chemistry whiz.
Mirror Marshall: Chemistry... I like that.

Corrine: Thank you, you have given me so much and I couldn't have done it without you.
Mirror Z: You came here with enormous potential. I hope you spend the rest of your life trying to achieving it - using both sides of your brain.

Marshall: All set... Corrine? Corrine.
Corrine: Hey, um, I've been thinking it over and I've decided I'm not going to audition. I know I can sing, but that band your thing. I was auditioning for the wrong reasons. I felt like I needed to prove that I'm not just a math prodigy or a science whiz, but I don't. Not to myself, and hopefully not to you. Looking at myself from a fresh perspective showed me that.
Marshall: Hey, wait up! Corrine! Corrine! Slow down a second, would you? Corrine! Corrine, did something happen? What so different about you?
Corrine: Maybe I'll tell you about it some day.


Marshall: [examines the food on his fork] Rattus norvegicus?
Corrine: No, rat is on Tuesday. Genus lumbricus.
Marshall: Yeah, you're right. Wednesday's nightcrawler night.
Josie: Urgh... I can't believe they make us eat this stuff.

Josie: A bunch of vitamin supplements on plastic wrap does not change your life.

Professor Z: That can't be... but it is. The bar has less than 1 calorie of food energy.
Josie: I think we're supposed to eat 2000 calories a day. No wonder Vaughn lost weight - he might has well have eaten air.
Professor Z: That's right. It's also impossible.
Josie: Impossible that he was eating air?
Professor Z: Impossible that the bar contains less than 1 calorie of food energy. Around here that can only mean one thing.

Josie: Look, Vaughn, you have drive. You don't have to prove anything to your dad anymore!
Vaughn: I set my own goals, Josie, I decide whether I'm good enough or not yet, whether I'm trying my hardest.
Josie: Then prove it.
Vaughn: ... I just want wrestling to be fun again.

Vaughn: [to Lucas and Josie] Thanks, it's a little harder in a higher weight-class, and dieting to stay low kind of took the fun out of it, so I decided to push myself the old fashion way and it paid off. Hold on, okay?
Victor Pearson: Congratulations. What got you back on your game.
Vaughn: Well, I decided to win for me, not for you.
Victor: Words I've always lived by.


Lucas: She just blew us off.
Vaughn: What do you mean "us"?
[Lucas gives Vaughn a look]
Vaughn: I'm messing with you, man.

Josie: [to Lucas and Vaughn] Where do you get off asking for Vaughn's permission to ask me out? And where do you get off giving Lucas' permission?
Lucas and Vaughn: [in unison] You told her?! No!


Lucas: [about Josie] I'm not avoiding her. I'm just trying not to run into her, that's all.
Marshall: That's what avoiding means, Lucas.

Season 3[edit]


Marshall: That's a cold fusion reactor...
Corrine: You built my cold fusion reactor. Wait a minute... you built my cold fusion reactor!?
Vaughn: Dow, now, Corrine, the idea of the cold fusion reactor is hardly yours.
Corrine: You stole my plans?
Vaughn: If it's any consolation, your plans were fundamentally flawed. I had to compensate for some pretty shoddy computations, I must say.
[An indignant Corrine takes her model and leaves.]
Marshall: You're a jerk, Vaughn, you know that?
[Marshall leaves.]

Corrine: What do you mean you got him the supplies?
Marshall: How was I supposed to know he needed Palladium wire and oxygenated water to build a hypothetical power source?

(Josie holds up two identical plaid skirts)
Josie: I can't decide which one to wear. What do you think?
Corrine: Josie, they're both exactly the same.
Josie: The same, of course.
Corrine: Are you okay? You've been acting really bizarre lately.
Josie: No, I'm fine.
(Josie turns to the mirror, then back to Corrine)
Josie: Oh, I can't decide which one to wear. What do you think?

Professor Z: When you take something that's not yours, no matter what you do with it, you create something that doesn't deserve to last. That's hardly wonderful at all.


Marshall: [talking about why Lucas likes to sleep] 'Cause sleep is the only time he can wear his spaceship pajamas.
Lucas: Oh yeah, Mr. Monkey Slippers.

Lucas: [to Josie and Marshall after Corrine falls asleep] Whoa, that deep breathing stuff really works.
Josie: Yeah, on the wrong person.

Marshall: [preventing Lucas and Vaughn from fighting] Okay, guys, let's save it for Macho Olympics.


Marshall: "Feed Venus Flytrap." When did it have its last fly?
Corrine: A week ago.
Marshall: Must be starving.

Corrine: Why do you have flies in your drawer?
Diana: They're for an experiment

Kristie: We need a plan.
Josie: We need a plan, here's a plan: do nothing.
Corrine: What kind of a plan is that?

Kristie: I refuse to be jealous.
Corrine: Me too. I can't imagine being jealous.
Josie: The guys are making idiots of themselves, falling all over Diana.

Josie: Remember, don't be jealous.
Corrine: I'm not. Diana will find out, Marshall can't commit.

Kristie: She's got the hooks on your boyfriend. All our boyfriends.
Corrine: Marshall's not my boyfriend.

Josie: She's going to tear the flesh off his skeleton, remember?
Corrine: I say we should let her have one of his arms - no his face!

Professor Z: I examined some cells from Vaughn's mark. They're from an anaesthetic - the same anaesthetic used by Dionaea muscipula to stun its insect victims.
Corrine: So you believe me now?
Professor Z: Yes.
Vaughn: The movie's getting out. Are they still in there?
Josie: Yeah.
Corrine: We can't just attack Diana, can we?
Professor Z: We can - with this. [holds up icing bag] I ground up some garbonzo cheese loaf.
Josie: You had that two weeks ago!
Professor Z: I found it in the back of my fridge.
Josie: Bacteria city...
Corrine: Bacteria will neutralize Diana...
Professor Z: Let's go.

Stew: (to Lucas and Marshall) Why do you guys even have bodies? You should just be big brains on sticks.

Marshall: How about I do my presentation on migration?
Corrine: I thought you were doing it on nitrogen?
Marshall: Nope. No, it makes me think too much about you-know-who and how she nearly trapped me.
Corrine: I think I was trapping you too. I didn't mean to - I just wanted to spend time with you.
Marshall: I want to spend time with you too. How about we try again, but this time not in such... a scheduled way?
Corrine: Okay. When?
Marshall: Tomorrow. What time?
Corrine: How about... we play it by ear?
Marshall: Cool.
Corrine: So, I guess we owe Diana Music a big fat thank you.
Marshall: Too bad she's a his-to-ry.
[They laugh]


Corrine: [to Lucas] So you thought it would be fun to suck me into your tesseract?


Josie: You based your gravity sensor on what you learned from a science fiction movie?

Lucas: We're doomed!
Professor Z: Let's not be overly dramatic.

Professor Z: Is it really a secret if more than one person knows?


Marshall: Huh, there it is, right where I left it.
Corrine: You mean right where you forgot it.
Marshall: Heh, right.
[They look at a television monitor]
Corrine: Marshall, what's wrong with this picture?
Marshall: Don't they say the camera always adds ten pounds?
[Corrine hits him]
Marshall: Oww... I was talking about me.

[Nano-sized cell phone rings]
Corrine: Can't you shut that thing off?
Marshall: Excuse me? Nano-phone? Macro-fingers?

Professor Z: There is so much that you have done wrong here, starting with using deception to get to Tyler. However, recriminations can wait for later, right now we have to figure out how to get the camera out of Josie.
Marshall: It left her stomach a few minutes ago. Now it's zipping through her bloodstream like a Ferrari.


Stew Kubiak: Is the answer bacon?
Professor Z: No, Stew, the answer is not bacon.

[Vaughn notices that Lucas is standing too close to the painting]
Vaughn: Why're you standing so close?
Lucas: It's a new Yugoslavian art thing: "Upclosenism".


Lucas: Look at the timer ... it's a bomb!
Marshall: Lucas, why would anyone send us a bomb?
Lucas: Why? What if the launch of Wheeler-1 was interpreted as an act of aggression by an alien race and this is their response!
Josie: Lucas, I'm scared...
Lucas: Me too.
Josie: No, I mean I'm scared about you!

Josie: You heard what Z said, it's not a bomb.
Lucas: He said he doesn't think it's a bomb, there's a difference!

Corrine: Maybe it's a piece of space junk. They fall to Earth all the time.
Lucas: In disappearing spheres?

Stew Kubiak: Aww, a gift for me? You shouldn't have!
Lucas: I've gotta have that (Hologram device) back, Stew...
Kubiak: But you just gave it to me!

Corrine: Do you really think he (Vaughn) is gonna be able to get that pendant from his father?
Lucas: He's a Pearson. You do the math.

Marshall: Let's put that sucker in that other sucker and see what these two suckers do!
Corrine: You have really got spend less time with that band of yours...

Josie: I don't understand you, Lucas.
Lucas: That's kind of our story, isn't it?


Josie: Nice job, Marshall. An inch either way and Lucas and I would have been shishkabobed!

Marshall: Hey! Guess what guys? Durst and I were almost killed!
Lucas: Cool!
Josie: Alright!
Corinne: Fantastic!

Professor Z: Marshall, promise me you will never, EVER, write another prediction as long as you live.
Marshall: Done!
Professor Z: Good. Thank you for saving my life, now will you get off me?!

Lucas: Did it ever occur to you to ever check your work?
Marshall: No, "Mom"! It didn't!

Janitor: Marshall Wheeler, dabbling in predictions of the future. Bad idea, people shouldn't know too much about where they're headed.


Principal Durst: [laughing] Yeah, I really blew that experiment, didn't I? Broop! It was a real trouser cough. Broop!

Professor Z: Miss Durst, may I see you in my office, please?
Principal Durst: Why? What's all the stink about?
[science class bursts out laughing]
Professor Z: Now.

Vaughn: Josie, I like you!
Josie: I know.
Vaughn: A lot.

Professor Z: [to Josie] And I do care if you're not in my classes.
Josie: "Care", as in personally, or I'll get punished if I do it again?
Professor Z: Both.


Corrine: Ow...
Marshall: Vaughn, would you mind letting go of Corrine now?
Vaughn: Hey... I can't...

Professor Z: Incredible...
Corrine: Professor Z, please stop starting at us like we were lab rats.
Professor Z: I'm sorry, I can't help it... what I mean, don't panic... we're deal with this.
Lucas: I've got an idea - how about two of us grab onto Vaughn and the other two grab onto Corrine and we yank as hard as we can?
Corrine: Lucas, that is a profoundly bad idea.

Marshall: He went to see her in private...alone.
Josie: You don't think we should be worried about the two of them, do you?
Marshall: Worried worried or just worried?
Josie: Worried worried.

Josie: Professor Z, are you sure this is a good idea?
Professor Z: It's a good a place to start at any. Olive oil is a natural lubricant.
Josie: But even if it works, how are we going to apply that to Vaughn and Corrine? Coat them in olive oil?
[Z looks up, alarmed]
Professor Z: One step at a time, 'kay, Josie?

Will: I thought she was with Marshall.
Jarrod: And I thought he was going out with Trent.
Will: Dude! Marshall must really be hurting.
Jarrod: Tell me about it.

Josie: Doesn't heat expand metal, Professor Z?
Professor Z: Exactly. I'm hoping if we heat the blocks enough, the molecular structure will expand and the friction will be reduced.
Lucas: But how are we do we apply a open flame to Vaughn and Corrine?
[Everyone stops and looks at the flame and then Lucas]
Lucas: I know, one step at a time.
Marshall: Hope it works, hope it works... I hope it works...

Josie's clone: Now that Vaughn knows the truth about Sarah, what do you think he'll do?
Janitor: He's not the one I'm worried about.


Vaughn: Josie, come on!
Blake: Josie, who's Josie?
Corrine: She's Josie!
Blake: She's Miss Turner!
Vaughn: Well, she's coming with me!
Blake: Unhand her!
Vaughn: Unhand her, yourself!
Josie: Both of you guys, unhand me!

Josie: [looking at an old photo of herself and Blake Holsey] So that's how you knew where I was.
Lucas: Once we found this photo of you and your boyfriend, we knew you were stuck in the past.
Josie: He's not my boyfriend. And how did the wormhole happen in the first place?
Corrine: Tell Josie about your father.
Vaughn: You know, I would. If I was talking to her.
Josie: I can't believe you're mad at me.
Vaughn: I can't believe you think that I'd go into the wormhole without talking to you about it. Of course, you're jumping to conclusions is kind of the reason we're stuck here now, isn't it?
Marshall: Guys, look at this sandwich, it is so cute-
Corrine: Focus, Marshall!

Lucas: Remember last year's production of The Importance of Being Earnest? We raided the costume department, waited for Victor to start another run, and then we went through.
Corrine: We had to fit in here, otherwise we risk altering the past. We can't risk that, right, Josie?
Josie: You think I want to stay here?
Marshall: Guys, I hate to spoil our little costume party here, but we're stuck here. There's no open wormhole. If we don't something, we're going to be stuck munching little mini sandwiches for the rest of our lives.

Vaughn: Josie's boyfriend is coming.
Josie: Blake is not my boyfriend!

Marshall: Whoa, whoa, whoa... meanwhile, when we do this experiment with the kite, how do we avoid, oh, I don't know, being electrocuted?

Headmistress Durst: The constable is on his way to apprehend you.
Vaughn: The constable?
Marshall: To apprehend us?


Professor Z: Now, what are we going to experiment with? NASA had chimps, what do we have?
Lucas: [showing Mr. Bunnypants] Mr. Bunnypants.

Professor Z: [before pulling Mr. Bunnypants into the wormhole] Let's get hopping.

[The Janitor and Josie's clone watch Josie when she got trapped in the alternate timeline after stealing the Chi ball from Victor and Sarah]
Josie's clone: Josie, you should have listened to us. Victor and Sarah were supposed to have that ball. Victor's the good guy. You were meant to bring it to him. It was your destiny. But now... Josie... what have you done?

Season 4[edit]


Josie's clone: I don't have the answers, it seems like the only one who does is Josie Trent.
Lucas: (glancing at Victor) I think I speak for all or both of us when I say, huh?
Josie's clone: I'm not Josie Trent, at least not the one you know any way.
Victor: What do you mean you're not Josie Trent!?
Lucas: You're Josie's clone! The one that was created accidentally freshman year.
Victor: The Trent girl has a clone?
Lucas: It's a long story.
Victor: So bore me!

Josie's clone: I chose to come here because it is the only way to save the future.

Josie's clone: Everything happens for a reason Josie.

Professor Z: The only thing that decides our destiny is our own actions, nothing else.

Professor Z: It's ironic that we have to go through the worst of times in order to bring out the best in ourselves. But if we didn't have fear, we wouldn't need courage.

Josie: Different timeline, same answer, never.

[Corrine making her Valedictorian speech]
Corrine: We graduates are now prepared for anything. That includes mutant bee invasions, attacks by super intelligent robots, and my personal favorite: flesh eating plant monster.
Marshall: (to Lucas) I'm never going to live that one down.

External links[edit]