Stressed Eric is a 1998 British animated cartoon series produced by Absolutely Productions and Klasky Csupo. It originally aired on BBC Two and followed the everyday life of Eric Feeble, who is under constant stress by the demands of his job, his family and his ex-wife.
- Eric Feeble: I'm ten years late already!
- Mrs Wilson: Morning, Mr. Eric. Just off to the post.
- Mrs Perfect: Ah, Eric. How art thou?
- Eric Feeble: Please don't let it be morning, please don't let it be morning, please don't let it be morning.
- Eric Feeble: Yes. That's right, Eric. That's why you buy a season ticket. So you can LEAVE IT IN YOUR BEDROOM!
- Ray Perfect: [guffaws while waving his own]
- Eric Feeble: [giggles feebly in return] Bastard!
- Liz: This is exactly why we split up! You can never see things from my perspective!
- Eric Feeble: Well, I'm sorry, but there isn't room up your bum for two!
- P.P.: It's never your fault, is it, Eric? It's always batty cleaners, or exploding cases. What next? Golden eagles swooping out of the sun and carrying off the quarterly figures for the Midlands?
- Eric Feeble: Mm. Mm-mm. Mm. Yes. I- I know I must seem a little accident-prone....
- P.P: This company's been good to you, Eric. We've stuck by you through all your various stress-related wotsits. We moved you out of sales when you got that rash on your neck; no one was ever gonna sell anything looking like that. But did we chuck you out on the street? Did we ARSEBURGERS! We moved you along to personnel, then your back went; no one could do interviews hanging upside-down on orthopaedic wall bars. But did we kick you out on your ear? Did we DOUBLE ARSEBURGERS! Well, I'm telling you straight, Eric, we've no more options for you now. Data is it. We can't move you sideways again, you'd be in the gentlemen's lavatory!
- Eric Feeble: Honestly, au pairs! They roll in at midnight, they get up at midday, they....puke on your trousers!
- Mrs Perfect: Are you, pray, going to the nativity play this even?
- Eric Feeble: Of course, yes, terrific, wouldn't miss it for the world, yes, terrific. As I say, terrific, yes, your, um, daughter now is- is in it?
- Mrs Perfect: Not as much as we'd like.
- Eric Feeble: Oh, oh really? What's she doing?
- Mrs Perfect: Mary, Joseph, the Angel Gabriel, Pilate, Caligula, Droussos-Droussos, the narrator, Egypt and God.
- Eric Feeble: Use your anger..... Use your anger..... Use your anger.... So what if Little Miss Priss is playing the whole Bible? So what if Brian is a sheep? You don't want to get drawn into that whole 'parents being competitive through their children' thing There's no point! No! Because YOU'VE ALREADY LOST!
- Eric Feeble: She might as well just come into my room and chant "You're not getting it! You're not getting it!"
- Claire Feeble: Maria's in the bathroom doing exercises with her friend.
Eric tries unsuccessfully to have sex with Sandy when a ceramic cast of a bottom crashes through the window
- Eric Feeble: What the - ! [Answers the door to find his irate ex-wife, Liz on the doorstep.] What on earth are you doing!?
- Liz: Well! Do you like it?
- Eric Feeble: It nearly killed me!
- Sandy Watson: I'm going now, Eric.
- Eric Feeble: Sandy!
- Claire Feeble: I'm all nallergic!
- Eric Feeble: Oh, Claire darling go back to bed. I'll come up in a moment. [To Liz] You've got two seconds to pick up your bum and get out!
- Old Lady: Don't tell me to hurry up! Hitler told me to hurry up! I didn't hurry up for him and I'm not going to hurry up for you!
- Eric Feeble: This is it, Eric. You've hit rock bottom!
- Liz: Eric!
- Eric Feeble: Nearly....
- Eric Feeble: Ok, Eric. If you stay in every night, give up solid food and supplement your income by selling off your internal organs one by one, you'll be completely debt free by the year five million.
- Eric Feeble: [After learning that the Perfects invited P.P to dinner.] You see, that's why they're so successful. That's why they've got money. That's why they've got a roof! They oil the wheels, they network. That's how you get on. That's how you succeed. It doesn't matter whether you're any good at your job - although Ray is very good at his job - and it doesn't matter if you make any money for the company - although Ray does make a fortune for the company - the point is... [Leans out of the train window and shouts] THE BASTARDS HAD THE BOSS ROUND FOR DINNER AS WELL!
- Liz: This is exactly why we split up!
- Eric Feeble: Yes, you like keeping cow pats on your carpet!
- Claire Feeble: But Maria, the dress is exactly the same as Heather's.
- Maria: So?
- Claire Feeble: And the parasol is exactly the same as Heather's.
- Maria: So?
- Claire Feeble: [on the verge of tears] And the wig is exactly the same as Heather's too!
- Maria: Oh, please shut up, or I make you really look like Mary Twattynetty and I CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!