Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye

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Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye (2002–2005) was an American police drama about deaf FBI agent Sue Thomas. It premiered in the US in 2002, and in Canada in 2003 and ended in May 2005 as it was slated for non-renewal by PAX TV. Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye is one of the only television series to have featured a deaf lead character working a regular job not connected with an institution "for the deaf", such as Gallaudet University.


Season 1[edit]

Assassins [1.4][edit]

Jack: Okay, ladies and gents, this is what we get paid the medium bucks for.

The Signing [1.6][edit]

Jack: I want you to get back in there with him. Keep trying to turn him as long as we've got.
Sue: You saw how it went. All he did was shrug off his problems and make passes at me. You could have done that well without being able to communicate with him at all.
Jack: Well, I doubt he would have made passes at me.

[Watching Sue and Troy communicating in American Sign Language]
Jack: Thousands of dollars worth of surveillance equipment. They're carrying on a conversation, and we are completely clueless.
Bobby: Hmm. Little window into what they must feel like sometimes, eh?

Silent Night [1.8][edit]

[The team is watching a surveillance video of a bank robber dressed as Santa Claus.]
Sue: I've seen that face before.
Jack: And that round little belly. I hear it shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.
Tara: My intelligence sources say he works with a group of reindeer--the gang of eight.
Dimitrius: Yeah, and their leader's a young buck, Rudolph, code name Red-Nose.
Bobby: There's two things you don't mess with: Elvis and Santa.
Myles: All right, this is serious. We are talking about armed bank robbery here.
Jack: All right, Myles is right.
Dimitrius: Oh, bah, humbug.
Jack: We promise we won't make fun of Santa anymore.
[Myles turns back to the screen.]
Sue: Because if we did, we might get coal in our stockings.
[Bobby laughs. Myles turns and looks at Sue.]
Sue: Sorry, it just slipped out.
[Myles throws down his papers and walks away.]
Bobby: Oh, Merry Christmas, Ebenezer!

[Bobby has been assigned a lunch meeting with a reporter.]
Ted Garrett: She has an agenda, and it doesn't match ours. So walk softly and carry a big 'no comment'.
Bobby: No worries.
[Ted Garrett exits.]
Bobby: I can take care of her, boys. It's the accent. Gets 'em every time.
[Bobby exits.]
Myles: She's gonna put him on a barbie and have him for lunch.
Jack: Yeah.

Bobby: Righto, look, can we just um--declare a truce here? I mean, after all, it is Christmas, right? Peace on earth, goodwill toward men. And--and women.
Darcy D'Angelo: So, we should be nice to each other once a year because it's good business for Madison Avenue? Christmas is just a commercial charade perpetuated by a capitalistic society.
Bobby: Yes, that's much better. I think you're starting to capture the spirit perfectly. And to think, some people believe you're cold and cynical.

Greed [1.9][edit]

[After the team has spent hours looking through mountains of paperwork, Myles holds up a paper in front of Jack. Jack glances at it, then glances at Myles and back.]
Jack: Myles, if you were anyone else, I would kiss you right now.
Myles: If you were anyone else, I might let you.
Jack: Somebody give Myles a kiss. I think he found our needle.
Dimitrius: Levi?
[Levi looks at Myles and whines];;
Myles: [holds up hands] It's okay.

Diplomatic Immunity [1.10][edit]

[Jack, Sue, Bobby and Levi (Sue's hearing dog) are in a car. Jack is driving.]
Bobby: I thought you knew where the British Embassy was.
Jack: I do. It's right around the corner.
Bobby: That's what you said three laps ago.
Sue: Just look at the map.
Bobby: Don't do it. Not worth the humility.
Jack: Real men don't need maps.
Sue: Oh give it to me. I don't have the "male map phobia" gene.

Myles: Hey, who's putting half-eaten donuts back in the box?
Bobby: That isn't half-eaten. I ate the other half, which made that half completely eaten. That half isn't eaten at all, making it wholly uneaten.

Darcy: Just because you're out of a job does not mean that I can't slap that adorable little smirk off your face, special agent Manning.
Bobby: Whoa, did I hear you just say 'adorable'?
Darcy: Can we get back on track? You seem to have forgotten your career is in shambles.

Darcy D'Angelo (Bobby's girlfriend): Don't fill up on pizza. Bobby's cooking. He's been working on a wonderful recipe for Rock Cornish Hen.
Jack: [incredulously] Bobby's what?
Myles: [Quietly, to Lucy] This is the man who told me he wanted to move the stove out of the kitchen to make room for a pinball machine.

Dirty Bomb [1.11][edit]

Lucy: How do you do it?
Sue: How do I do what?
Lucy: You look so refreshed! You were here when I left last night for thirty minutes of tossing and turning on an incredibly uncomfortable Bureau-issued cot. When I got back you were still here.
Myles: Well, the noise doesn't bother her so she probably takes catnaps.
Lucy: Myles! That is the most-!
Myles: Oh, save it. [He leaves]
Sue: It's true, I do take catnaps. But I tell Levi they're "dognaps". Right, Levi?

[Myles is watching a terrorist be interrogated]
Bobby: How's it goin'?
Myles: When they were handing out the "evil gene" this guy must've been fighting to get to the front of the line up.

Myles: Hakim flipped on Abdul, Abdul flipped on Hakim, and Khayyat flipped on everyone, including himself.
Bobby: Everybody's singin'! It's like an opera.
Dimitrius: Music to my ears.

Lucy: [to Sue] That's a man for you: the world's coming to an end and he's scalping tickets.

He Said, She Said [1.16][edit]

[Dimitrius and Bobby attempted to fix the air conditioning which would not turn off, however they ended breaking it]
Lucy: [to Dimitrius] Whatever you've done to the heating system, please undo it. There are only so many layers of clothing one can remove without violating the dress code.

Season 2[edit]

The Girl Who Signed Wolf [2.1][edit]

Myles: I'm Einstein with a gun. Boston born, Harvard educated, S.W.A.T. trained Myles Leland... III. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a country to save.

The Sniper [2.2][edit]

Sue: Lucy, what do you think? Should I wear my hair up or down?
Lucy: Up.
Jack: Down.
[Lucy stares at Jack. Jack looks away.]
Sue: What?
Lucy: Jack likes your hair down.
Sue: You do?
Jack: [still uncomfortable] What, can't a guy have an opinion on hair?
Bobby: Well put, Sparky. Nice to see you're not afraid to show your feminine hairdresser side.
Jack: You all need professional help.

[Sue has come directly from a formal gala to the crime scene and is wearing an elegant dress]
Myles: If I had known this was going to be a formal crime scene I would have dressed for the occasion.
Dimitrius: You wouldn't have looked like that.

[The team has just finished a case in which Jack purposely antagonized a sniper to predict his actions]
Sue: Please don't ever make yourself a target again, or I might take you out. [raises her fist]
Jack: [laughs and raises his hands in surrender] Okay.

Homeland Security [2.3][edit]

Myles: We will hunt him down. We will not rest until this--this vile creature, this destroyer of all that is beautiful and good is brought to justice.
Jack: We're looking for an art forger, Myles, not Hannibal Lector.
Myles: Only a few gradations of separation on the slimy scale of criminality.

[Myles has just gone over an in-depth plan to catch the art forger who swindled him, complete with map and pointer]
Tara: Very thorough. And precise, just the way we like it.
Jack: I don't think the invasion at Normandy was this well planned.

The Newlywed Game [2.5][edit]

[The team has just discovered that Sue and Jack are going undercover as a married couple. The team enters]
Lucy: And here are the newlyweds now.
[The team begins to throw confetti on Jack and Sue]
Tara: Ah, to be young, and in love.
Jack: I'm always amazed at how quick word travels in this building...
Dimitrius: It's the FBI, the walls have ears.
Bobby: Speaking of ears, hear that clanging, Sparky? That's the sound of your your ball and chain. [Winks at Sue]
Dimitrius: Hey, Sue, the boys are going out for a beer after work. Can Jack come?
Sue: As long as he's home in time to mow the lawn.
[Myles enters]
Myles: What happened?
Tara: You missed it. Jack and Sue got married.
Myles: I went out for a tuna sandwich, how long was I gone?

[Myles, Bobby and Dimitrius are undercover as movers helping Jack and Sue move into their undercover house. Myles is mildly injured and has supervised rather than moving furniture. They are talking to Jack and Sue]
Bobby: We're done here.
Dimitrius: What he means is that if we have to move one more piece of furniture, we might become terrorists.
Bobby: So, let's gather up our things and, uh, we'll leave you two love birds alone.
Myles: [to Bobby and Dimitrius] You two want to grab that cart. [Bobby and Dimitrius give him a nasty look]. At Aardvark we do not tolerate workers with surly attitudes. This will be going on your permanent records. [walks away]
Bobby: I can't wait to get my gun back.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do [2.6][edit]

[The team has discovered that a terrorist they are investigating has hypothyroidism and takes medication for it]
Myles: A martyr who's taking medication so he can live long enough to kill himself, how sick is that.

[Sue and Jack went undercover as a married couple]
Tara: I've heard that the traits that originally attract you to a person are the ones that end up driving you nuts. Would either of you care to confirm or deny that rumour?
Sue: Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Jack: Thank you.
Sue: ...with Jack it's a whole new set of traits that drive you crazy.

Jack : Must be nice to have such a warm and fuzzy outlook on life.
Sue: That's just the kind of attitude I'd expect from a guy who goes to bars to meet women!
Jack: Our first fight?
Sue: Probably not our last.

Bad Hair Day [2.7][edit]

Tara: You're not going with me. I don't need a babysitter.
Bobby: We can be a team. You can be good cop, I'll be bad cop.
Tara: Bobby.
Bobby: Okay, you be bad cop.
Tara: I'm gonna be the cop that leaves--alone.
Bobby: I'm starting to get the feeling you don't want me to come with you.

Tara: Just watch for the vultures circling my desk. I know the second my flight gets its wheels up, somebody'll steal my stapler.
Bobby: They do, they'll have to answer to me.
Tara: Actually, I was talking about you.

Political Agenda [2.8][edit]

Myles: How can someone sound cute?
Lucy: Not to worry Myles, that's a problem you'll never have.

[Sue has just discovered a commercial she filmed is being used in a senator's reelection campaign without her knowledge]
Lucy: So what are you gonna do about it?
Sue: I'm going to go and exercise another one of my rights, that's what I'm gonna do about it!
[She stomps off.]
Bobby: I hope this isn't the one about the right to bear arms.
Jack: I think her bare hands are gonna be enough.

Jack: Yes, Myles, if you're right, you can say you told me so. And I know you will, in that special way that makes us all love you so. But for now, you put your nose in those books and humor me on this one, okay?

[Sue is sleeping in a chair at work. Jack wakes her up]
Jack: I've just been informed that you're spending too much time here. The Bureau wants rent.
Sue: Tell them to take it out of the overtime pay. Oh wait, I forgot there is none.

Into Thin Air [2.10][edit]

Myles: This is an engraved invitation to the big dance of history, and all I have to do is slit open that golden envelope and show up on time in my Kevlar tuxedo!
[He leaves.]
Lucy: It's official. You've finally lost it.

The Lawyer [2.12][edit]

[After learning that a lawyer has filed a civil rights complaint against Jack on behalf of a suspected terrorist]
Bobby: You do your job protecting her freedom, and she uses that freedom to file an action against you for doing your job. God bless America.

The Holocaust Survivor [2.13][edit]

Randy: Well, have her contact me when she returns.
[He walks away.]
Bobby: You say jump...
Myles: We say, did someone just say something?

Bobby: In the meantime, Lucy, we need 200 voucher forms.
Jack: I'll bite. Why do you need 200 voucher forms?
Dimitrius: Operation Paper Chase.
Myles: Our target: Randy the ridiculous.
Bobby: Our chosen weapon: forms. Our goal: to bury the man in them.
Sue: I'm not following.
Lucy: You're not the only one.
Myles: Randy doesn't wish to reimburse us for car rental or work boots, he can reimburse us for the toothpicks I used in my undercover persona during the Sackbar case.
Dimitrius: The pack of gum I chewed in the Burroughs sting.
Bobby: The box of paper clips I used to complete the Curran report. All of which we paid for out of our own pockets.
Dimitrius: We got all kinds of receipts, and each one will be attached to its own personal voucher form.
Sue: I used three sheets of a yellow pad at home last night for F.B.I. business. That should be three vouchers.
Bobby: Hey!
[Dimitrius, Bobby, and Myles fist bump Sue.]

Elvis is In the Building [2.15][edit]

[Dimitrius has just informed the team that they will be going undercover in a nightclub run by a Chinese gang.]
Myles: How we gonna do that? The reason Chinese gangs are called Chinese gangs is that all the members of the gang tend to be Chinese.
Lucy: How do you do it, Myles? Always so insightful.

Myles: If ever I show the slightest bit of arrogance around any of you, please call me on it.
Lucy: You better have call waiting 'cause that's gonna be one busy phone line.
Tara: Is that request retroactive?

The Kiss [2.18][edit]

Myles: Nothing like a double homicide to bring the family together.

[Jack and Sue have gone undercover in a law firm]
Janice [looking at Jack]: Is he as nice as he is cute?
Sue: You think he's cute?
Janice: [laughs] What are you, blind?
Sue: No, but I am deaf.
[Janice thinks she is joking an laughs]
Sue: [slightly awkwardly] I really am deaf.

[Jack and Sue kiss. Janice enters and turns on the light.]
Janice: Sue? Mr. Buchanan?
Jack: Miss Clark!
Janice: What are you doing in here? Well, I can see what you’re doing in here.

Jack: You were really good back there. [Sue stares at him.] I mean, the deposition line.
Sue: Yeah, you too. [Hastily clarifying] With the deposition. That was quick thinking.
Jack: Good teamwork.
Sue: It’s all about teamwork.
Jack: You know that moment back there that was a response to a situation.
Sue: Very effective.
Jack: Cause I would never… Well I mean… I…
Sue: It certainly changes our cover story.
Jack: I don’t know, I don’t think it’s a big problem. Do you?
Sue: No, probably just a few more looks around the water cooler.
Jack: Probably not the first time they’ve seen a boss/secretary thing.
Sue: Probably not.
[Sue drops her keys and they both reach for them, touching hands.]
Sue: Well, I better get home. See how Levi and Lucy are kissing along… getting along. [Jack chuckles.] How they’re getting along.
Jack: Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning.

Tara: Firewall I can’t crack hasn’t been invented yet. Except the one I used which was invented by me.
Jack: You’re the best.
[Jack hugs Tara. Sue and Janice enter the office.]
Janice: Mr. Buchanan?
Jack: Janice. Hi.
Janice: Working late again, I see?
Jack: Sue, aren’t you and Janice supposed to be going out to dinner together?
Sue: We were, I mean we are.
Janice: I forget my cell phone and Ms. Kern is prone to calling me at all hours so we came back to get it. [to Sue] Certainly works the over time, doesn’t he?
Tara: Hi, I’m Tara, just flew in from Milwaukee to surprise my hubby.
Janice: I see. Well, I hope you have a pleasant visit. Don’t work to hard.
[She glares at Jack as she exits.]
Tara: Why do I get the feeling I missed something?
Jack: Office politics.

Jack: It was a good job while it lasted.
Sue: I’m sure your friend in Wisconsin will be glad to have his identity back.
Tara: I have a bone to pick with you, Mister. Seems you’ve been cheating on me. With one of my own friends, no less.
Sue: You talked to Janice.
Tara: So, any chance we can work this out? Or do I have to file for divorce?
[Tara pretends to get teary.]
Jack: Okay, now that you’ve had your fun is there any chance we can keep this on the down low?
Bobby: What? Keep the tabloid story of the century off the airwaves? Actually, we have a nice little office pool going. I say Sparky and Tara will weather the storm and stay together.
Dimitrius: Yeah, but the smart money’s on Sue, the home wrecker, landing her man.
Lucy: What did I miss? What are you guys talking about?
Bobby: Jack and Sue making out in the dragon lady’s office at Callahan and Merced.
Lucy: What?!
Jack: We weren’t… we… we weren’t making out.
Dimitrius: You want to go under oath and say that? We have a reliable witness.
Sue: It was part of the undercover.
Lucy: So you were making out?
Jack: It wasn’t making out.
Bobby: What exactly was it?
[Jack and Sue look to each other.]
Jack: We’re late.
[He leaves.]
Tara: You can’t get away with this that easily, two-timer! I want justice!
Lucy: I want to hear every detail.
[Sue leaves without answering.]
Bobby: Woo hoo!

Season 3[edit]

Adventures in Babysitting [3.1][edit]

[Sue and Lucy have discovered Howie in their apartment in the middle of the night.]
Sue: Did he just say what I think he said?
Lucy: He said somebody wants to kill him, and I presume he means somebody besides us.

[Myles walks into the room where Howie is wearing his bulletproof vest.]
Myles: Has anyone seen my Kevlar-- [spots Howie] If you don't have that off by the time I count to three, I promise you will have need of it by the time I get to four.

The Body Shop [3.2][edit]

Lucy: I thought we'd never get out of there. Anita says she has to chew every bite at least 50 times to aid in her digestion. Who even knew you could digest eggplant spirulina casserole?
Sue: Who knew you'd ever want to? [Lucy chuckles] If she's going to stay longer, maybe you should at least get your bedroom back.
Lucy: Oh, it's okay. I'm so tired I could sleep on a bed of nails. I'll be fine. But why are you still up?
Sue: I was going to take a shower before bed, but I made the mistake of not getting started before you got home.
[Lucy glances toward the bathroom and sighes]
Lucy: I know. She's been in there longer than some third-world regimes stay in power. With any luck we'll have hot water again by next week.

Lucy: I've never heard of half the stuff on Anita's special shopping list. Free-range egg white extract?
Sue: Probably on the shelf right next to wheat-free soy lasagna.
Myles: Ah, the good host syndrome. Open your door to a wayward traveler, and before you know it, you're at their mercy. Your routines disrupted, your cupboards emptied, the sanctity of your castle hopelessly compromised.
Tara: What do you recommend, Sir Myles? Toss them out in the street?
Myles: No, I recommend a drawbridge and a moat. Never let them breach the gates in the first place.
Bobby: I follow the three day law. They stay longer than that, I throw their gear on the porch, change the locks, turn on the sprinklers.
Tara: Now that's hospitable.

Bobby: I wonder what would happen if they took the best parts of all of us and made one super cyber F.B.I. agent? We'd start with my looks, of course.
Tara: My brain. Sue's heart. Sorry, Myles.
Myles: I'll try to get over it.
Sue: Lucy's smile. Jack's eyes.
[Sue's and Jack's eyes both widen as they realize what she said.]
Jack: Thank you.
Sue: [confusedly] Did I mention Lucy's smile?

Did She or Didn't She? [3.8][edit]

[Myles and Bobby are escorting two witnesses, Howie and Otis, to a trial in Phoenix. Their car was stolen while they were in a gas station]
Myles: You left the keys in the car?! How could you leave the keys in the car?!
Howie: I wanted to make sure I didn't lose them again.
Myles: Howie, you have taken a less than desirable situation and made it less than less than desirable!

False Profit [3.13][edit]

Lucy: [Reading from MindProphet literature] If you want to learn more about becoming your true self, MindProphet invites you to meet with a senior member, who will help you determine if you are being held back by false selves.
Bobby: I'm gonna take a wild guess every seeker is held back by at least one false self.
Jack: And getting rid of those false selves costs a lot of money.
Dimitrius: Actually, it costs whatever you have. Eventually, they have you sign over everything to them.
Myles: Oh, a bargain if it allows you to find that one pesky self you've been looking for but unable to pin down.

Bobby: [to Lucy] Anyone ever tell you you're beautiful with that evil genius look on your face?

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire [3.14][edit]

[Sue has agreed to help Randy on a date with a deaf woman.]
Myles: All Sue has to do is teach Randy a few wrong signs. Like instead of 'It's nice to meet you. You look beautiful,' maybe something like [Jack and Dimitrius enter] 'I'm a pompous idiot and there's no way any woman in her right mind would go out with me.'
Jack: What'd we miss? Somebody slip him some truth serum?
Dimitrius: Let it out, Myles. The truth will set you free.

Myles: Well, I learned a valuable piece of information today. Don't walk up to somebody in a small town and ask what's new unless you really want to know.
Bobby: And on that note, did you know that the football coach is in danger of losing his job? Pity, he's had some good years.
Jack: But it's much more complicated than that. Some people think the principal has it in for the coach because they both have eyes for the new home ec teacher.
Myles: Ahhh!

[Jack and Sue are together at a restaurant watching Tara on her 'date' with a witness.]
Jack: First it was Hannah and Randy, and now it's Tara and Horace. We've got to stop dating like this.
Sue: Did you say dating?
Jack: [flustered] No, I said meeting. We've got to stop meeting like this.
Sue: I think you said dating.
Jack: Where's our waitress? Maybe we should order now.

Troy Story [3.16][edit]

Bobby: Tara? You like that band Mojo Gogo, right?
Jack: You kidding? I happen to know she's a card-carrying member of their fan club.
Tara: I don't actually have a card.
Bobby: How would you like to see the band perform tonight, up-close and personal?
Tara: I'd love it! [Pauses and looks suspiciously at Bobby] What's the catch?
Bobby: You have to go with me.
Jack: Pretty big catch.

[Bobby and Tara have just gotten back from the concert and are walking up Tara's front walk, having a friendly debate]
Bobby: ...but it makes no sense.
Tara: Sure it does.
Bobby: "Hamsters in my heart"? Look, fair enough, fair enough; I know you love your Mojo Gogo, but what kind of lyric is "I've got hamsters in my heart"?
Tara: It's a metaphor.
Bobby: For?
Tara: For... something which, if I explained it to you, would be far too deep for you to understand.
Bobby: You see? You don't understand it either!
Tara: Okay, okay. It's a stupid lyric. But it's got a great beat. You can dance to it.
[Tara starts humming and dancing]

Mind Games [3.17][edit]

Myles: This is Timmy Chambers, he's a busboy who was working last night. He claims he heard an altercation here in the alley.
Timmy: Actually, I'm not a busboy, I'm a tenor.
Bobby: As in "Pavarotti" tenor?
Timmy: Singing - it's my heart. My willingness to clear tables? That demonstrates m-my commitment to it.
Myles: Well, now that you've clarified your station in life, perhaps you could tell us where the people were arguing.

Endings and Beginnings [3.19][edit]

[Lucy and Sue are talking about Sue moving to New York. Lucy is crying a bit]
Lucy: Do you remember when we first met, when I was still dating Myles?
Sue: Oh, now I know why you're crying?

Cast[edit]

Recurring[edit]

Cameos[edit]

  • Chantal Craig - Lieutenant Diana Grove, D.C.P.D.; real-life wife of Yannick Bisson (Jack Hudson)
  • Sue Thomas - Deanne (actress)

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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