Morning sunshine. Remember, these are the best days of your life, so far. (winks)
No one ever got ahead by sitting on their behind.
I'm not gonna get an abortion, I always planned on getting married and having kids, I'm just going a little out of order. It kinda reminds me of another young lady, who found herself with child, unmarried, on a long, long road with no place to sleep. Of course that was a long, long time ago. No matter what, she held her head high, and said, "Papa, don't preach, I'm in trouble deep. Papa, don't preach, 'cause I've made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby.
It's off. I can't take the fighting, the back-stabbing, the open hostility. We're not acting like cheerleaders, we're acting like a bunch of sorority girls!
Morning sunshine. Remember, except for the morning sickness, the blinding back-pain and the embarrassingly unpredictable gas, these are the best days of your life... so far.
You know, even the most beautiful flowers still grow from dirt. And we may be knee-deep in it right now, but we're gonna grow strong from this.
Jack: There are only three things I want in life. To, one day, become a senator of this great state (crowd cheer)... I wanna lead the mighty Lincolns to victory in the homecoming game (crowd cheer)... And I wanna go to the homecoming dance with Diane West. (Crowd gasp... then cheer!)
Hannah: Oh my God, I'm gonna be someone's bald bitch!
Hannah: At church camp this summer, I'm pretty sure I had my first orgasm.
Kansas: Hold up, any sentence that starts with "at church camp" ain't leading to the big O.
Cleo: That's not true. Those pictures of Christ all sweaty and bare chested on the cross always made me kinda hot.
Lucy: Holy Shit! You just became a statistic.
Kansas: Oh my God... I'm not the first.
Hannah: When are you geting married?
Kansas: How much do you need for an abortion?
Hannah: What? No, not an abortion. My church can arrange for you to go to Oregon and take care of a sick aunt for nine months. Then they find your baby a good home. And you come back a little dazed and puffy, but everything's fine. Please Di, don't be a whore and a murderer.
Kansas: Come on Cleo, we're not gonna waste this weeks question to the netherworld on Conan.
Hannah: Who made up the one question a week rule, anyway?
Kansas: It's in the bible, so just shut the hell up.
Diane: But we went hands in on this. You're breaking the National High School Cheerleading Association's pledge of allegiance and conformity.
Lucy: I'll turn in my pom-poms after Christmas.
Kansas: Rule number one: You never take off the mask, hear me? No matter what happens, you never take off the mask.
Cleo: I'm sorry, Kansas.
Kansas: Oh, god, no! Rule number two: No names. No god damn names, you retard.
Cleo: For God's sake, 'white trash betty', I didn't realise the rules went into effect before we entered the supermarket.