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Coach John Schiffner
- Everything you do, on the field and off the field, affects your wallet. It's a shame to be hitting 190 on the field because you're hitting 700 in some gin mill. It's a shame to see your dreams and your bank accounts go up in smoke. Any more garbage from you guys and you'll be warming the sticky vinyl of a bus seat back to mommy! I don't care who you are. Now get outta here.
- Why stop with the press box? Huh? If you're gonna start fires, why don't you burn down Main Street?! Hah! You know, the league commissioner wanted to call this game off. I had to convince her that to penalize the rest of the team for the stupidity of a couple of knuckleheads would be unfair. But Robin and Van Leemer? They're ghosts. Ghosts!! I packed those idiots on the bus this morning; which means that we finish the regular season and we go into the playoffs without our number one pitcher and our starting shortstop! Look at me when I'm talking to you, dammit!! Tomorrow at 4 PM. Dunne! You've got the freshest arm. You get to start tomorrow. Now get the hell out of my sight, all of you; I'm sick and tired of looking at you. Move!!
- Tenley Parrish: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
- Ryan Dunne: No.
- Parrish: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
- Dunne: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
- Parrish: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
- Dunne: Five bucks says you can't.
- Parrish: You got it!