is a 2008 comedy film that spoofs the superhero genre. It was written and directed by Superhero Movie Craig Mazin and produced by David Zucker and Robert K. Weiss.
Main Character Quotes [ edit ]
Rick Riker/Dragonfly [ edit ]
If I hadn't pushed her out of the way she would have die...aaaaaaah!
I think I have...superpowers!
I'm looking seriously over the city...in a squatting position.
I met a guy at Craigslist.
Those are Celine Dion lyrics!
[to Jill] I realize, we can never be together.
Lou Landers/Hourglass [ edit ]
Why yes. This is, healthy cough blood.
Good. You're a hard-working fine young man. Let's hope you're not brutally murdered, too!
Are you frickin' insane?!
No, crazy is hearin' voices, talkin' to cats, datin' Paula Abdul. I am not crazy; I...am a visionary!
I just shat my pants.
I met a girl at Craigslist.
Uncle Albert [ edit ]
With great power comes hot bitches.
Look at you, eatin' junk food, wearin' fake beards.
You did surgery on me?
I can't breathe; you're kneelin' on my balls!
And once a month you'll bleed from your vagina!
Don't forget about the bitches.
Major Character Quotes [ edit ]
Lance Landers [ edit ]
Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit!
Stephen Hawking [ edit ]
That's a lie. I think of suicide every single day.
Hey anyone want to get high? I have some hash with me. White guy in the dreads, you know what I am talking about? Can I get a what-what? Holla! I've got a stiff pole for your sweet hole. Anyone? Anyone? Pussies!
You have an incredible ass!
[before falling down after Albert pushed him] Shiiiit!...
Dr. Whitby [ edit ]
No, it's not your dead wife.
Yes, you see, we confused you with one of our sex-change patients, but don't worry, we didn't remove your penis. We did, however, cut off your testicles, but since your wife's dead, you won't be needin' 'em!
Yes I know... [while fainting]
Professor Xavier [ edit ]
How do I know that baby's even mine?!
Squatting on a glass table...two girls...one cup...you know what to do!
We have people who can walk through walls. And we have people who think they can walk through walls!
Minor Character Quotes [ edit ]
Mrs. Xavier [ edit ]
Because he can do this!
Make a costume, shit-head! I swear, they're gettin' dumber and dumber every year!
How's that feel, Invisi-Bitch?!
Human Torch [ edit ]
Dude, you're on my gargoyle.
What are you doing?
Get a blanket or something!
Get the fire extinguisher!
Aah, stop you idiot!
Dialogue [ edit ]
Lance Landers: Ah, Rick Riker. How are your parents?
Rick: They died violently nine years ago. Lance Landers: But, otherwise okay?
Mental Hospital Patient: [on phone] No, you listen to me! I want that story on my desk or you're fired! [hangs up phone and turns to Rick] Who the hell are you?!
Rick: My name's Rick Riker, sir. I was wondering if you had a job opening for--
Mental Hospital Patient: Job?! How dare you come in here and ask me for a job! I'm the editor-in-chief! I know the mayor of Venus! Hamburgers can see the future! [carried out of the office by two men] Editor-in-Chief: Sorry about that. We share the building with a mental hospital.
Dr. Whitby: [about Aunt Lucille] She can't walk, she can't talk. She has no control over her bowels.
Rick: That's terrible! Dr. Whitby: I know. I went ahead and set up a MySpace account for her under "Crazyshitmachine" [Rick looks at him, appaled]. She already has 40 friends.
Professor Xavier: Hello, Rick.
Rick: Who are you and how do you know my name?
Professor Xavier: I'm a psychic.
Rick: Prove it.
Professor Xavier: Think of any number between one and a million and I'll tell you what it is.
Rick: Nine. Professor Xavier: Not out loud, dumbass! Come with me, you dumb son-of-a-bitch.
Chief Karlin: The lady was badly hurt.
Interviewer: How was she hurt? Chief Karlin: Badly!
External links [ edit ]