- I thought the runway was longer than that! (When Lord Sugar overshot the runway at Manchester City airfield)
- Fair? The only fair you're gonna get is your bloody train fare!
- I don't think too many people would want my job. I'm a bit of a nutter.
- I just don't know whether you're some sort of bloody nutter.
- I've got a gut feeling in my stomach.
- I've written books on advertising... cheque books.
- Once you decide to work for yourself, you never go back to work for somebody else.
- Never ever try to under-estimate me because you will be making a fatal, fatal error. I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullshitters, I don't like schmoozers, I don't like arse-lickers.
- The money coming into the game [football] is incredible. But it is just the prune-juice effect – it comes in and goes out straight away. Agents run the game.
- There's only room for one bigmouth in my organisation, and that's me.
- You seem to have gone from anchor to wanker.
- Tell me, why shouldn't I fire you?
- You're fired.
- That's why my fee for this ad is going to Great Ormond Street.
- I like Premium Bonds.
- I'm no gambler.
- Business is not about coming in, pissing my money up the wall and saying 'Oh well, I have learnt from my mistakes and it won't happen in the future'.
- I'm Jewish and I couldn't give a toss. – On being told by a Catholic that "you have my word"
- You're a lightweight, you're fired!
- Quite frankly, I'd like to get rid of the bleeding three of you!
- This is not a game, this is a 12 week job interview. It's a dog eat dog situation.
- There is no phone-in here, there is no text a number, there is no panel of judges. I'm the one who decides who gets fired, and I'm the one that ultimately decides who gets hired.
- I am the most belligerent person that you could come across.
- You're hired!
- When you lose, there won't be some busty blonde outside, for you to sob into her bosom.
- If they were a company, the shareholders could sue them for incompetent mismanagement. In commercial terms, it's like watching your mother-in-law drive your new Ferrari over the cliff.
- If ever there was a time for me to leap across the boardroom table and whack someone on the conk, it would have been then. – On Kevin Shaw's final boardroom