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- People with the highest voices take the 5th - like the Republicans do.
- Glad I'm not an astronaut...I'd be fucking dead.
- This one's in the key of C...I won't fuck this up.
- Rockin' out...with my cock out...there was much ado about nothing...it was only...my nutsack...
- It's not safe, but yeah, I can flip a piano over. You take it on this side where there's not really as much weight.
- I only fuck up that bad about once every two months ... which is a pretty high fuck-up ratio for a professional musician, when you think about it.
- This one’s about my really horrible experience trying to get through college at university. And I got a scholarship and then I lost a scholarship… after a semester cause a flunked a class because I flunked one test. The class was based on one test. The one I flunked. I flunked the test because I got delivered to the test in a police car at six o’clock in the morning with stitches in my nose and stitches in my mouth. And I was still drunk. And I had a broken hand, presumably because I had clocked that ass. I hit the wall.
So I threw my drum set, which is the instrument that I flunked on, into Lake Osceola in the middle University of Miami and I took a Greyhound bus, I don’t shit you, it was a Greyhound bus back home and I worked with a bunch of old ladies in a grocery store for about 18 months. It was at that time that I decided in my bedroom I decided while listening to Elvis Costello in 1986 that maybe I shouldn’t wait tables and do this old lady job anymore, maybe… I should join the Army.
And umm, for those of you who know the lyrics from the song I derived them, except for the rhyming part which I setup myself, I derived it from the way it actually went down
My father knocked on the door. I’ll just be dad for a second.
[Knock, Knock, Knock] “Benjamin, what are you doing in there?”
“Well I was thinking about joining the army…”
“You’re Fuckin' High”
- Explination of "Army", Ben Folds Live @ Enmore 2005