Talk:Boris Johnson

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  • I thought it was a 50-50 ball.
    • On a rough tackle on a German player during the England vs Germany legends match.
  • She's a method columnist, isn't she. She believes it while she's writing it. It's fantastic!
  • I'm making absolutely no comment...and no, I did not.
    • When asked if he intentionally misled Michael Howard, leader of the Conservative Party.
  • Ken [Livingstone] doesn't think he's got anything to say sorry for and if that's really his feeling, then I think that he should stick to his guns.
  • I think they get a fair squeeze of the sauce bottle.
    • Questioned by Michael Crick on his dedication to his political career and the Conservative Party, 2005.
  • Will I throw my hat into the ring? It depends on what kind of ring it is and what kind of hat I have in my hand.
    • When asked by the Oxford Mail if he will stand for leader of the Conservative Party.
  • I'm kicking off my diet with cheeseburger — whatever Jamie Oliver says McDonalds are incredibly nutritious and, as far as I can tell, crammed full of vital nutrients and rigid with goodness.
    • While campaigning at McDonalds in Botley, Oxford, May 2005.
  • Ian [Hislop] keeps telling me to sack him. It puts me in an impossible position.
    • On Taki, a contentious columnist in the Spectator
  • I’d want to get Blair and really interrogate the guy. I’d really want to pin him up against a palm tree and slap him around and get the truth out of him about a few things we need a bit of elucidation.
  • "I could not fail to disagree with you less." This quote is not original to Boris Johnson. I first heard this quote in 1987, attributed to Eisenhower, which I now believe to be incorrect. Later I found some attribution, since demoted to the bottom of search engines, to some member of the US House of Representatives, I think during Eisenhower's administration at least. I can't find it at all anymore, it's that far gone.

'Have I Got News for You' (unsourced)[edit]

  • I'm batting for an ideology which has been burgled by someone else.
  • There may be a reason I can't think of but the problem with that reason is that I can't think of it now.
  • Do I have to do this?
    • When told he was taking part in a special Mastermind round with questions on his leader, Iain Duncan Smith, during an episode of Have I Got News For You.
  • I've never seen this on this show before!
    • When told he was taking part in a special Mastermind round with questions on his leader, Iain Duncan Smith, during an episode of Have I Got News For You.
  • We're moving irresistably towards a conclusion.
  • Men women love love women.
  • I think it would be wrong for me to take the you know to block the path of the a needy badger.
  • Why are they called quad-bikes?
  • Is he [George Best] sleeping with Miss Jamaica.
  • Well, basically because of, for the money.
    • On why he came back on the show.
  • I paint myself.
  • What transaction happened here? Have I just bought your house?
  • I've walked straight into a massive elephant trap.
  • How do you know we can't deliver coconuts?
    • Replying to Ian Hislop's taunts regarding the Tories' apparent inability to deliver their promises.
  • I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
  • Coconuts from the party that keeps its promises!
    • On Have I Got News For You
  • I'm in charge here!
    • When things on HIGNFY threatened to get out of hand.
  • Well he cheated death, and death is the one thing you're allowed to cheat.
  • I think the term is recklessly honest
    • When Paul Merton commented that he was refreshingly honest
  • The field in which the rabbits and the bunnies exist is lexically co-terminous.

= Quotes about Johnson (unsourced)[edit]

  • He may seem like a lovable buffoon but you know he wouldn't hesitate to line you all up against a wall and have you shot.
  • Boris Johnson [is] known as the thinking man's idiot.
  • He's the sort of person who 200 years ago would have died aged 30 leading a cavalry charge into a volcano.