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This was a great book. I thought it was hilarious. I like the idea of Nately's whore popping up everywhere trying to kill Yossarian. even at the very end before he runs away :)
Me too. 05:09, 13 July 2008 (UTC)Reply[reply]

link to the book[edit]

mmmmm.... is the contents of the link to the book legal!!..... at the end of the page

I guess not. It's been pulled.

Length of article[edit]

This is getting a bit long. Are we near copyvio territory?--Ole.Holm 12:28, 24 February 2010 (UTC)Reply[reply]

I tagged it for review. At least it could use some quality cleanup. ~ Ningauble 14:01, 24 February 2010 (UTC)Reply[reply]


  • "I'm cold," Snowden said again in a frail, childlike voice. "I'm cold."

    "There, there," Yossarian said, because he did not know what else to say. "There, there."

  • Milo was not only the Vice-Shah or Oran, as it turned out, but also the Caliph of Baghdad, the Imam of Damascus, and the Sheik of Araby. Milo was the corn god, the rain god and the rice god in backward regions where such crude gods were still worshipped by ignorant and superstitious people, and deep inside the jungles of Africa, he intimated with becoming modesty, large graven images of his mustached face could be found overlooking primitive stone altars red with human blood. Everywhere they touched he was acclaimed with honor, and it was one triumphal ovation after another for him in city after city.
  • Milo turned to him with a faint glimmer of mischief. "I have a sure-fire plan of cheating the federal government out of six thousand dollars. We can make three thousand dollars apiece without any risk to either of us. Are you interested?"


    Milo looked at Yossarian with profound emotion. "That's what I like about you," he exclaimed. "You're honest! You're the only one I know that I can really trust."

  • "In a democracy, the government is the people," Milo explained. "We're people, aren't we? So we might just as well keep the money and eliminate the middleman. Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry."
  • He proved as good as his word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share" on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him.
  • Captain Flume spent as much of each evening as he could working in his darkroom and then lay down on his cot with his fingers crossed and a rabbit's foot around his neck and tried with all his might to stay awake. He lived in mortal fear of Chief White Halfoat. Captain Flume was obsessed with the idea that Chief White Halfoat would tiptoe up to his cot one night when he was sound asleep and slit his throat open for him from ear to ear. Captain Flume had obtained this idea from Chief White Halfoat himself, who did tiptoe up to his cot one night as he was dozing off, to hiss portentously that one night when he, Captain Flume, was sound asleep he, Chief White Halfoat, was going to slit his throat open for him from ear to ear. Captain Flume turned to ice, his eyes, flung open wide, staring directly up into Chief White Halfoat's, glinting drunkenly only inches away.

    "Why?" Captain Flume managed to croak finally.

    "Why not?" was Chief White Halfoat's answer.

  • "Racial prejudice is a terrible thing, Yossarian. It really is. It's a terrible thing to treat a decent, loyal Indian like a nigger, kike, wop, or spic."
    • Chief White Halfoat
  • Captain Piltchard and Captain Wren, the inoffensive joint squadron operations officers, were both mild, soft-spoken men of less than middle height who enjoyed flying combat missions and begged nothing more of life and Colonel Cathcart than the opportunity to continue flying them. They had flown hundreds of combat missions and wanted to fly hundreds more. They assigned themselves to every one. Nothing so wonderful as war had ever happened to them before; and they were afraid it might never happen to them again.
  • Outside the hospital the war was still going on. Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
  • To Yossarian, the idea of pennants as prizes was absurd. No money went with them, no class privileges. Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.
    • P. 81, paperback
  • "I run a fighting outfit," he told them sternly, when the room had grown absolutely quiet and the men on the benches were all cowering sheepishly, "and there'll be no more moaning in this group as long as I'm in command. Is that clear?"

    It was clear to everybody but Major Danby, who was still concentrating on his wrist watch and counting down the seconds aloud.

    "… four … three … two … one … time!" called out Major Danby, and raised his eyes triumphantly to discover that no one had been listening to him and that he would have to begin all over again. "Ooooh," he moaned in frustration.

    "What was that?" roared General Dreedle incredulously, and whirled around in a murderous rage upon Major Danby, who staggered back in terrified confusion and began to quail and perspire. "Who is this man?"

    "M-major Danby, sir," Colonel Cathcart stammered. "My group operations officer."

    "Take him out and shoot him," ordered General Dreedle.

  • Doc Daneeka was Yossarian's friend and would do just about nothing in his power to help him.
    • P. 29, paperback
  • "I'm asking you to save my life."

    "It's not my business to save lives," Doc Daneeka retorted sullenly.

    "What is your business?"

    "I don't know what my business is. All they ever told me was to uphold the ethics of my profession and never give testimony against another physician."

  • There were lymph glands that might do him in. There were kidneys, nerve sheaths and corpuscles. There were tumors of the brain. There was Hodgkin's disease, leukemia, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. There were fertile red meadows of epithelial tissue to catch and coddle a cancer cell. There were diseases of the skin, diseases of the heart, blood and arteries. There were diseases of the head, diseases of the neck, diseases of the chest, diseases of the intestines, diseases of the crotch. There even were diseases of the feet. There were billions of conscientious body cells oxidating away day and night like dumb animals at their complicated job of keeping him alive and healthy, and every one was a potential traitor and foe.
  • "I suppose you just don't care if you lose your leg, do you?"

    "It's my leg."

    "It certainly is not your leg!" Nurse Cramer retorted. "That leg belongs to the U.S. government. It's no different than a gear or a bedpan. The Army has invested a lot of money to make you an airplane pilot, and you've no right to disobey the doctor's orders."

  • "Of course you're dying. We're all dying. Where the devil else do you think you're heading?"
  • "You're dead, sir," one of his two enlisted men explained.

    Doc Daneeka jerked his head up quickly with resentful distrust. "What's that?"

    "You're dead, sir," repeated the other. That's probably the reason you always feel so cold."

    "That's right, sir. You've probably been dead all this time and we just didn't detect it."

  • Clevinger was dead. That was the basic flaw in his philosophy.
  • He advocated thrift and hard work and disapproved of loose women who turned him down.
  • On long winter evenings he remained indoors and did not mend harness, and he sprang out of bed at the crack of noon every day just to make certain the chores would not be done.
  • They might have occurred if either General Dreedle or General Peckem had once evinced an interest in taking part in orgies with him, but neither ever did, and the colonel was certainly not going to waste his time and energy making love to beautiful women unless there was something in it for him.
  • "Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe."