Talk:Coluche

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Left-wing politics like poor people so much they create them.
In a dictatorship you're told: "Shut up!". In a democracy it's: "Keep talking!"...
While we were havin' dinner, on the TV, they showed starving little Africans! On African TV, they don't show people eating!
When it comes to nuclear weapons, I'm neither for, nor against - on the contrary!"
There are two kinds of justice : the lawyer who knows everything about the law, and the lawyer who knows everything about the judge.
[In France,] we have politicians that make the rest of the world jealous. They could come and take'em!
A neutral country is one which does not sell weapons to a country at war... unless it pays cash.
Yuri Gagarin was extremely unlucky: after orbiting earth 17 times, he fell back down in the USSR!
God said: let's share. The rich will get enough to eat, and the poor will have an appetite.
People say, "we live in a world full of morons!" They are right. But they still underestimate their number.
Just because there are so many of them being wrong doesn't mean they're right.
I know I look stupid, but most of the credit goes to the uniform (posing as a cop).
Some people get a kid just because they can't afford a dog.
Society didn't want us? Well, it can rest assured that we don't want it either!
Long term credit means that the less you can pay, the more you pay.
Death: if you're hit, you'd better make fun of it; if you're not, there's no reason not to make fun of it.
I'm not a nouveau riche, I'm a former poor.
From every one of those who have nothing to say, the nicest are those who keep it for themselves.
They say the crisis is making the rich richer and the poor poorer. I can't see how that's a crisis.
Politicians are to politics what holes are to cheese. More cheese means more holes. But more holes means less cheese.
If we are to believe what is said, then the rich are the bad guys and the poor are the good guys. Then how come everyone wants to be a bad guy?
They say 3 million people are looking for a job. False: all they really need is money.
(as a cop :) If we're not allowed to punch them in the face, kick them in the balls, or in the butt, how are we supposed to interrogate them ? Sometimes they don't even speak our language !
The speed of light is faster than the speed of sound, which is why sometimes people look bright until they start talking.
I'm not a racist; my dog is black.
There are fewer foreigners in France than there are racists.
Instead of blind we say "sight-impaired", instead of deaf we say "hearing-impaired", so should fools be called "understanding-impaired"? (possibly inaccurately paraphrased)
I'm following two diets simultaneously because with only one I wasn't getting enough to eat.
Sportsmen are stupid, right. But that's the team spirit! Guys in a team, they have but one spirit. So they have to share it...
You can get AIDS on a toilet seat, but there are more comfortable places.
Earning a living isn't worth the sweat: you're already living. Job opportunities are scarce, so rather let who likes it have some.
Besides gangster or politician, what can you do without qualifications ? All there's left is artist.
One half of the politicians can't do anything, the other half would do anything.
Our immigrants would live better back in their country. To prove this: we love going there for vacation!
I went to Dakar [Senegal] for vacation... However, when checking my map of Paris: not a street matched each other!
If one day you feel useless and depressed, remember: one day you were the fastest spermatozoon of all.
Do you know what I think of morons who listen to music while standing in uniform ? The answer is in the question.
I don't mean that all cops are intelligent - that would be too gross a generalization.
(in a campaign speech:) I'll quit politics when politicians quit comedy - they steal my job, I steal theirs.
Can you make fun of everything? Well, my opinion is: if it was funny, you were right to do it.
If there were a tax on stupidity, the government would be self-financing.
What I hate the most about foreign countries, they just don't speak french. And depending on the countries, they don't even speak the same foreigner!
Playing the fool can be useful, but really it's easier just to be one.
I don't have any message... any wickedness... However, I am still being hated by half of you all...
I am capable of the very best and the very worst, but I'm the best at being the worst!