- Before we came along, a woman who reached forty or so became invisible… so they slid into being boring matrons or dotty eccentrics. Only the young wore interesting clothes. But we're not like that anymore… We're still running around trying to have adventures. We're constantly reinventing ourselves. And we could use a few outfits.
- Let people push you around. The person who says, believes, and acts on the phrase "I ain't taking any shit from anybody" is a very busy person indeed. This person must be ever vigilant against news vendors who shortchange him, cabdrivers who take him the wrong way around, waiters who serve the other guy first, florists who are charging ten cents more per tulip than the one down the block, pharmacists who make you wait too long, and cars that cut you off at the light: they are a veritable miasma of righteous indignation and never have a minute to relax and have a good time.
- People are supposed to fuck. It is our main purpose in life, and all those other activities—playing the trumpet, vacuuming carpets, reading mystery novels, eating chocolate mousse—are just ways of passing the time until you can fuck again.
- The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.
- A man will call a woman 'bitch' when he can't control her, when she won't do his bidding, when she's not compliant to his needs. I like this in a word.