Talk:Dan Rather

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• Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

• An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the "William Tell Overture" and not think of "The Lone Ranger."
  • Wikipedia

• I leave CBS News with tremendous memories. But I leave now most of all with the desire to once again do regular, meaningful reporting. My departure before the term of my contract represents CBS's final acknowledgement, after a protracted struggle, that they had not lived up to their obligation to allow me to do substantive work there. As for their offers of a future with only an office but no assignments, it just isn't in me to sit around doing nothing. So I will do the work I love elsewhere, and I look forward to sharing details about that soon.
  • CBS Evening News

• One good thing about having a birthday on Halloween is that people tend to remember it.
  • Readers Digest, Quotable Quotes

• Ratings don't last. Good journalism does.

• The difference between love and sex is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

• The press is a watchdog. Not an attack dog. Not a lapdog. A watchdog.

• I got addicted. News, particularly daily news, is more addictive than crack cocaine, more addictive than heroin, more addictive than cigarettes.

The 1984 US president election

• Walter Mondale has seen the light at the end of the tunnel - and it's out.

The 1988 US president election

• George Bush is sweeping through the South like a tornado through a trailer park.

The 1992 US president election

• The excitement is so great that it can "make the wax pop out of your ears if you love politics."

• Texas is "the big enchilada or, if not an enchilada, then a huge taco."

The 1996 US president election

• Discussion about poll showing Bill Clinton would have lost to Colin Powell: "Woulda, coulda, shoulda. If a frog didn't have long hind legs, he wouldn't have squat to jump with."

The 2000 US president election

• This race is shakier than cafeteria Jello.

• He swept through the South like a tornado through a trailer park.

• Don't bet the trailer money on it yet.

• It's a ding dong battle back and forth.

• Look at that. Can't get a cigarette paper between'em.

• His chances are slim right now and if he doesn't carry Florida, Slim will have left town.

• We said earlier in the evening at one point that Governor Bush would probably be as mad as a rained-on rooster.

• This will show you how tight it is - it's spandex tight.

• The polls have been veering and wobbling so much that neither NASA nor the Russian Cosmodrome could track 'em in some cases.

• If you're disgusted with us, frankly I don't blame ya.

• I think you would likelier see a hippopotamus run through this room than see George Bush appoint Ralph Nader to the Cabinet.

• Turn the lights down, the party just got wilder.

• It's cardiac-arrest time in this presidential campaign.

• It's too early to say he has the whip hand.

• It's about as complicated as a wiring diagram to some dynamo.

• This election swings like one of those pendulum things.

• Al Gore has his back to the wall, shirt tails on fire with this race in Florida.

• Smelling salts for all Democrats please.

• This race is tight like a too-small bathing suit on a too-long ride home from the beach.

• We've lived by the crystal ball and learned to eat so much broken glass tonight that we're in critical condition.

• You would sooner find a tall talking broccoli stick to offer to mow your lawn for free.

• The big burrito.

• This thing is as tight as the rusted lugnuts on a '55 Ford.

• Maybe you can bring some perspective on this, we're plum out.

• When the going gets weird, anchor men punt.

The 2004 US presidential election

• Let's hit these biscuits with another dab of gravy (referring to voting results so far)

• This is more complicated than the wiring diagram for some hydroelectric dam dynamo.

• If a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun.

• Don't taunt the alligator before you've crossed the creek.

• Missouri, the Show-Me State; show me … insufficient data!

• George Bush, he’s got the hot dice right now.

• It won’t mean a thing if they don’t get those swing … states!

• The results are swinging like Count Basie.

• Only a vote talks; everything else walks.

• In Southern states, they beat him like a rented mule.

• We’re all on these returns like white on rice.

• To err is human, but to really foul up requires a computer.

• If you try to read the tea leaves before the cup is done, you can get yourself burned.

• This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex.

• When it comes to a race like this, I'm a long-distance runner and an all-day hunter.

• Turn the lights down, the party just got wilder.

• We don't know what to do. We don't know whether to wind a watch or bark at the moon.

• John Kerry’s at the point when he’s got his back to the wall, shirttails on fire, and the bill collector at the door.

• The situation in Ohio would give aspirin a headache.

The 2006 US Midterm Elections

From Comedy Central's 2006 Daily Show / Colbert Report Midterm Midtacular on November 7th, 2006:

• Ran away with it like a hobo with a sweet potato pie.
• If you ain't got the yolk, you can't emulsify the hollandaise.
• If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
• Mouth is alive with juices like wine, and I'm hungry like the wolf.