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- Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life
- Cecil Rhodes (attributed).
- England has three great things: tea, that comes from India, and Oscar Wilde and me, who are Irishmen.
- George Bernard Shaw
- The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.
- James Agate (attributed).
- I like the English. They have the most rigid code of immorality in the world.
- In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.
- Not to be English was for my family so terrible a handicap as almost to place the sufferer in the permanent invalid class.
- We do not regard Englishmen as foreigners. We look on them only as rather mad Norwegians.
- England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than sex.
- An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
- Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious.
- In left-wing circles it is always always felt that there is something slightly disgraceful in being an Englishman and that it is a duty to snigger at every English institution, from horse racing to suet puddings. It is a strange fact, but it is unquestionably true, that almost any English intellectual would feel more ashamed of standing to attention during 'God save the King' than of stealing from a poor box.
- In England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square.
- You should study the Peerage.... It is the best thing in fiction the English have ever done.
- On the Continent, people have good food; in England, people have good table manners.
- Many continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.
- Do not be misled by memories of your youth when, on the Continent, wanting to describe someone as exceptionally dull, you remarked: 'He is the type who would discuss the weather with you.' In England this is an ever-interesting, even thrilling topic, and you must be good at discussing the weather.