Talk:Stephen Colbert

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Attributed vs. Sourced[edit]

I moved all the recently added quotes into an "Attributed" section, per our standard practice of splitting most quote pages into "Sourced" and "Attributed". Even though most of the quotes are "sourced" as being from one of two shows, TV-show citations really need airdates or episode numbers to make it reasonable for editors to verify quotes. If someone can place these (and other) quotes, they should move them (with citations) into a "Sourced" section. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 19:20, 31 January 2006 (UTC)

Vote for deletion notice[edit]

This article was preserved after a vote for its deletion. See its archived VfD entry for details. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 18:12, 11 February 2006 (UTC)

Frpm Wikipedia[edit]

All appear already on this page. Posted here in case its of value to anyone working on this. 00:51, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

  • On recommendations for others from the August 2006 Wired Magazine: "Get your own entry in an encyclopedia. - In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter"
  • "I'd have to say that it was harder at Hampden-Sydney than it was at Northwestern."

From the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner[edit]

  • “But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well-known liberal bias.”
  • "Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash."
  • “Though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Jew or Muslim. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.”
  • (Expressing his awe in standing next to President Bush, and referring to the Dick Cheney hunting incident)
    "To be this close to the man [Bush], I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Dammit. The one guy who could have helped."
  • (Referring to Reverend Jesse Jackson)
    "Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he's going to say what he wants, at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."
  • "Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth unfiltered by rational argument; I call it the "No Fact Zone." Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term."
  • "I believe that the government that governs best is the government that governs least, and by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."
  • "Nothing satisfies you [reporters]... everybody asks for personnel changes, so the White House has personnel changes. And then you write, 'oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.' First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking, this administration is soaring! If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!"
  • "I believe democracy is our greatest export -- at least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit."

TDS/TCR quotes[edit]

When I was cleaning up Jon Stewart's page, it was suggested to me that TDS quotes (from the scripted segments, at least) - which, seeing as the show has a full writing staff, were not necessarily written by Jon himself - should be moved to The Daily Show page and a "See also" section added linking to it. I've done the same here with Stephen's TDS and TCR quotes. Shoemoney2night 06:26, 9 October 2007 (UTC)


  • Atheism: the religion devoted to the worship of one's own smug sense of superiority.