Talk:The Mighty Boosh (TV series)

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

there you go, I put the hitchers mammoth monologue on there.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, MSN is a blight. It does more harm than good. Well, I don't know, dude, you are a glutton for punishment, think about how people treat you and take a stand. Don't define yourself by other people cause' other people are mainly faggots. 10:51, 17 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Trimming notice[edit]

As part of the Wikiquote:Copyright Cleanup Project, this article has been trimmed to a maximum of two quotes per half-hour episode. Additional quotations could be added so long as an equal number are deleted. See Wikiquote:Limits on quotations for guidelines. - InvisibleSun 00:00, 20 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]


These quotes have been removed from the article and placed here because they are unsourced by episode.

Radio Series[edit]

Howard: Where have you been living these past few months? In a Chinese pipe?

Howard: I'll be the Stagman - like Batman but with antlers.

Vince: Stocky Jesus. He's like Jesus, but fatter.

Vince: You're making me sick, coming in here, doing your funny little rehearsals, playing your instruments, writing songs - it's not about that, being in a band! It's about what you look like! Don't you understand anything?

Vince: That is a kind of fresh madness.

Vince: I'm like Mowgli in flares.

Vince: I'm not allowed any keys at all.

Vince: Hey, Howard. Howard? Howard. Howard. (pause) You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantulas' eggs?

Vince: Mauled by Swans, you say?

Vince: Saturn Juice - juice made from the many rings of Saturn.

Vince: He's dead. It was a terrible thing, he tripped over some cobwebs.

Vince: What is this - Vince Noir's moonlight café?

Vince: Have you heard of heroin chic, you stocky hammerhead?

Vince: I've left you a selection of fruits.

Vince: (singing) Shoot ya face off! Shoot it right off...

Vince: Ooh, I've been dealt a terrific mauling! There these big, massive monkeys poking me in the eyes, and the little ones, all gettin' me belly button.

Bob Fossil: How many times do I have to tell you, reading leads to pure, liquid evil - it makes you smoke things!

Bob Fossil: I'm wearing two eye-patches myself, I can't see crap! We're flying into the heart of darkness!

Bob Fossil: Your logic makes me feel like a dick!

Bob Fossil: Come on chimpy, put this bra on, your tits are flappin around all over the place.

Bob Fossil: Argh! It's mother F!

Bob Fossil: Welcome to Fossil's Funworld, where fun plus world equals... world fun.

Bob Fossil: Now some of the animals may be naked...

Bob Fossil: I'll be all over you like a nun sandwich if you do that.

Bob Fossil: Fossil's Funworld, we love you! Bob Fossil, king of the zoo.

Bob Fossil: Fossil's Funworld, where fun is all around you like stink on poop!

Bob Fossil: I've got loads of mental problems, you know that Moon?

Bob Fossil: If I want your opinion on anything... I'll run over myself with a truck!

Bob Fossil: You ever felt a bullet-proof vest against your naked skin? It's better than beautiful. It's... beauteous.

Bob Fossil: Well, as you know, Tony the prawn is a psychological killer.

Bob Fossil: Come on. Park your tight little ass-cheeks on my knee-caps.

The Hitcher: Ooh, I know a thing or two about performin', my boy! I know a thing or two about performin', I can tell ya. Ooh, long time ago now, I was in a beautiful love story, all set on the stage, and I was all dressed up like a dazzlin' young lady. And I worked extensively with a Japanese gentleman, who used to bind his head up in a cloth, but with body language alone he could still reduce an audience to weepin'. Ooh, a remarkable actor! A remarkable love story, about a man dressed up as a lady and another geezer with all fabric on his head. Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo, how the audience would laugh and whee-hee-hee-hee, how the audience would cry, and whey-hey-hey-hey, how the audience would think, I seen something there! I seen something good there! But I came here last week! It was shit last week, oh, it was useless last week! Just an old lady with big fleshy, purelent, swollen arms smacking a woodpecker about the stage with an oar! What the hell was that all about? But this week, the geezer with the cloth on his head? Ooh, he was remarkable! That was a tour de force, that show! I tell ya, we'd get thirteen encores every night! And on the last encore I'd drag him out center stage, I'd put him in front of the audience and I'd tear off that cloth to reveal... the hideous deformed face of an otter! Ooh, his head was revolting! It was like broken butcher's meat, it was like a nik-nak left out in the rain. Ugh, it made me want to be sick on my own penis. But I loved that boy! I loved that boy, don't get me wrong! Ooh I loved what he could do with his acting style even when he camouflaged his own features! Ooh, why did I have to cut him off in his prime? Why did I have to leave him all alone in that black ditch? It don't matter though... It's all by the by 'cause I got my box... I got my box now...

Tommy with Howard: Lets go. Follow me quick, this way. Now stop, Sleep, Wake up there’s no time, comb your hair. Let us whistle, Stop the time for whistling has now passed, let us continue, follow me. Come let us go through the lake 'But I cant swim' Leap on to my huge head, come follow me. Touch, I don’t like that. Climb up this bank now 'Oh no I’ve forgotten Vince' Don’t worry ill go back and get him, wait here. Solve this puzzle whilst I’m gone, here’s pen and paper for you. Have you solved the puzzle? Four across was Emu, anyway there’s no time, come into this bush. Climb aboard these mules, they are lame, Shoot them and sell them for offal. Get a good price. That was a good price! Its pretty much straight on for about 2 miles now. This is my humble dwelling, we will be safe here. 'That was quite the journey, Have we lost them do you think' Who? 'The people chasing us' There was no one chasing us, distance is its own reward.


Vince: He'll wring you out, like a flannel.

Vince: Who do you think you are? Captain Corelli and his giant cola cube?

Vince: I want to enter my male love muscle into your mystery cave, come here!

Vince: You know what they call you? [deep voice] "The Buffalo Man".

Vince: Cyborg patrick tell me what you dream of, clockwork Margaret skating on my mouse mat, in your tiny circuit boots, shoes of the future. [Howard] Trousers of the past!

Howard: I'll be on you like a powerful moss.

Howard: Who are you, T-Bone Wilson?

Howard: Who are you, Mickey Stirrups?

Howard: I'm Monsoon Moon, I'm raining down the pain.

Howard: I'm his sugar bitch with the sour flavour.

Howard: I'm a poet, cyclist, I organise raffles... I do many things - I span the genres; they call me the genre spanner.

Howard: Where have you been living? In a cockerel's boot?

Howard: I am feeling loose and jazzy fresh today

Howard: [Talking about the pencil case story] When I unleash that baby on a crowded room it's like a cruise missile

Bob Fossil: [After dancing to Dreadlock Holiday by 10cc] ...And that's why I don't like cricket!

Bob Fossil: [Describing an elephant] You know, grey leg face man, he's got legs, and then another leg on his face.

Bob Fossil: Welcome to the Zooniverse, where all your dreams come true...niverse.

Bob Fossil: How 'bout a nipple cake sandwich?

Bob Fossil: Moon, sometimes I look at you and wonder why you are a human and living.