Talmudic views on marriage

A ketubah, a Jewish marriage contract.

The Talmud contains many passages on marriage. Marriage is a central theme in Judaism.

Quotes

• לְעוֹלָם יִמְכּוֹר אָדָם כׇּל מַה שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ וְיִשָּׂא בַּת תַּלְמִיד חָכָם, וְיַשִּׂיא בִּתּוֹ לְתַלְמִיד חָכָם
  • Pesachim 49a:22
  • Translations:
    • One should always be willing to sell all he has in order to marry the daughter of a Torah scholar and in order to marry off his daughter to a Torah scholar.
      • The William Davidson Talmud

• נְחֵית דַּרְגָּא נְסֵיב אִיתְּתָא. סַק דַּרְגָּא בְּחַר שׁוֹשְׁבִינָא.‏
  • Yevamot 63a:10
  • Translations:
    • Descend a level to marry a woman of lower social status, and ascend a level to choose a friend.
      • The William Davidson Talmud
    • When choosing a wife look down the social scale; when selecting a friend, look upwards.^{[citation needed]}

• מְסָאנָא דְּרַב מִכַּרְעַאי לָא בָּעֵינָא תַּנְיָא נָמֵי
  • Kiddushin 49a:5
  • Translations:
    • I do not desire a shoe that is larger than my foot.
      • The William Davidson Talmud
    • I do not want a shoe larger than my foot.^{[citation needed]}
  • Comments:
    • Meaning: I do not want a husband of higher rank than my own.

• נושא אדם כמה נשים דאמר רבא נושא אדם כמה נשים והוא דאפשר למיקם בסיפוקייהו ומ"מ נתנו חכמים עצה טובה שלא ישא אדם יותר מד' נשים כדי שיגיע לכל אחת עונה בחדש
  • Tur, Even HaEzer 1:1
  • Translations:
    • A man can marry a number of wives for Rava said a man can marry many wives and this is as long as he is able to provide for them nevertheless our Sages gave good advice not to marry more than four wives so that each one can spend "time" [together with her husband] once / month.
      • Sefaria Community Translation
    • A man may marry many wives, for Rabba saith it in lawful to do so, if he can provide for them. Nevertheless, the wise men have given good advice, that a man should not marry more than four wives.
      • T. P. Hughes, Dictionary of Islam

• אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בֶּן דַּהֲבַאי, אַרְבָּעָה דְּבָרִים סָחוּ לִי מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁרֵת: חִיגְּרִין מִפְּנֵי מָה הָוְיִין — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהוֹפְכִים אֶת שׁוּלְחָנָם. אִילְּמִים מִפְּנֵי מָה הָוְיִין — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמְּנַשְּׁקִים עַל אוֹתוֹ מָקוֹם. חֵרְשִׁים מִפְּנֵי מָה הָוְיִין — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמְסַפְּרִים בִּשְׁעַת תַּשְׁמִישׁ. סוֹמִין מִפְּנֵי מָה הָוְיִין — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמִּסְתַּכְּלִים בְּאוֹתוֹ מָקוֹם.‏
  • Nedarim 20a:13
  • Translations:
    • Rabbi Yoḥanan ben Dehavai said: The ministering angels told me four matters: For what reason do lame people come into existence? It is because their fathers overturn their tables, i.e., they engage in sexual intercourse in an atypical way. For what reason do mute people come into existence? It is because their fathers kiss that place of nakedness. For what reason do deaf people come into existence? It is because their parents converse while engaging in sexual intercourse. For what reason do blind people come into existence? It is because their fathers stare at that place.
      • The William Davidson Talmud
    • R. Johanan b. Dahabai said: The Ministering Angels told me four things: People are born lame because their parents overturned their table; dumb, because they kiss "that place"; deaf, because they converse during cohabitation; blind, because they look at "that place".^{[citation needed]}

See also

• Marriage
• Talmud