Jump to navigation Jump to search
Tenacious D is an American rock band whose style fuses rock with other musical styles such as folk metal, comedy rock, and stoner rock. They are known for their upbeat classic rock style and vulgar comedy.
Tenacious D (2001)
- Dio, time to go. You must give your cape and scepter TO ME! And a smaller one for KG... Go!
- This is not the greatest song in the world, this is just a tribute.
The Pick of Destiny (2006)
- We ride with kings on mighty steeds, across the devil's plain. We've walked with Jesus and his cross, he did not die in vain. NO!
- Kyle's fingers be silver/Jack's voice, then, be gold/but lest you think we're vain/We know you're all robots and we don't care/Tenacious D/We reign/Supreme.
- Burrito supreme! And a chicken supreme! And a cutlass supreme! Supreme! Yeah
- Metal! It comes from hell!
- The Metal
- What's it gonna be, Kyle? You have to decide. Tits… or Destiny?
- BEELZEBOSS: I am compleeeeeete!
JACK and KYLE: Fuuuuuuu-uuuuuck!
BEELZEBOSS: Yes, you are fucked!
Shit out of luck!
Now I'm complete, and my cock you will suck!
This world will be mine,
And you're first in line!
You brought me the pick, and now you shall both die!
Waaaaaiiit, you motherfuckeeeeeer!
We challenge you to a rock-off!
Give us one chance to rock your socks off!
The demon code prevents me
From declining a rock-off challenge!
What are your terms? What's the caaa-aa-aaatch?
JACK: If we win,
You must take
Your sorry ass back to Hell!
And also, you will have to pay our rent!
BEELZEBOSS: And what if I win?!
JACK: Then you can take Kage back to Hell...
JACK: Trust me, Kage, it's the only way.
KYLE: What are you talking about?!
JACK: To be your little bitch!
BEELZEBOSS: FINE! LET THE ROCK-OFF BEGIN!
- BEELZEBOSS: Fuck you, Kage! And fuck you, Jables! I'LL GET YOU, TENACIOUS D!
- Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)
- Since the beginning of time 'twas written in the stones that one day a band would come. Well that band has come and now they are here to cum again... in your ear pussies.
- Jack: Sometimes you follow your heart. Sometimes your heart cuts a fart. That's the Cosmic Shame.
- Kyle: [as Jack measures him] Jack, our world tour is just around the corner. We've gotta make a list of our backstage demands! [looks down at a notepad] Okay, M&M's-- 2 red for every blue; 7 strippers, 3 for Kyle, 3 for Jack, one floater--
- Jack: And one retired astronaut. [Kyle chuckles] Kyle, could you stretch out your arm? I'm measuring you for our tuxes.
- Kyle: [stretches his arm] For what?
- Jack: For Grammy night, buddy; you don't wanna go lookin' like a hayseed. [both laugh] Right? Right.
- Jack: You can't manufacture Inspirado... it arise from stillness of quietude. When your heart mingles with your soul oh man they do the dance.
- Jack: Sometimes you have to leave your zone of safety, you have to manufacture Inspirado. You gotta get out of the apartment. You've got to run with the wolves. You have to dive into the ocean bite with the sharks, or sometimes just treat yourself to an icecream sundae with nuts.
- Jack: Let's kick it. I'll say "Kick it," and you'll just kick it with a tasty groove, ok? One, two, three, kick it. Kick it. Come on, god DAMMIT! GOD, KYLE! COULD YOU ONE TIME KICK IT! WHAT THE FUCK?!
- Kyle: Jack, don't put it all on me...I've been sitting here, waitin'
- Jack: Okay, we've got a cruicial, clutch cargo gig coming up, Kyle. you COCK SUCKER! YOU don't give a shit, and I've been sittin' around, getting sick of your attitude! YOU FUCKER! YOU FFFUCKIN' BITCH!
- Kyle: I don't think I like Your attitude!
- Jack: YOU FUCKER!
- Kyle: You know what? I QUIT!
- Jack: Kyle, if I was in a wheelchair, would you visit me? Feed me? Brush my teeth?
- Kyle: Yes.
- Jack: Would you read to me?
- Kyle: Why couldn't you read?
- Jack: Just don't want to.
- Kyle: Yes.
- Jack: Would you take a bullet for me?
- Kyle: No.
- Jack: Oh my! Officer, what brings you here?
- Kyle: We support our local police!
- Kyle: [about Flarna] What's she like?
- Jack: She's totally into Satan.
- Kyle: You love Satan.
- Jack: I know. She's got her spine pierced.
- Kyle: Dude, you're totally into spinal piercing.
- Jack: And she loves to clog.
- Kyle: [Looking for Jack's guitar pick] I got it.... no wait, that's a bottle cap.
- Jack: Kyle. Did you look underneath THE BAR?
- Kyle: Yeah, nothing.
- Paul: Ok, you guys, seriously, sincerely, you have to get out of here. We're closed.
- Jack: Look, tomorrow when you're cleaning the floor if you find...
- Paul: We only clean on holidays.
- Jack: Rocketsauce will keep you rockin' all day and night.
- Kyle: Hey Jack, are they're any side effects?
- Jack: Yeah, the usual you rock out, then you... itch like a mother fucker.