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The Absent-Minded Professor

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The Absent-Minded Professor is a 1961 Science fiction comedy film from Walt Disney Productions.

Directed by Robert Stevenson. Written by Samuel W. Taylor and Bill Walsh based on the short story "A Situation of Gravity" by Samuel W. Taylor.

Professor Ned Brainard

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  • Let's see, flying rubber... Flubber!
  • Corners beautifully, doesn't it?
  • I'm an American! See it? My credit cards!
  • Substance X, we dub thee... Flubber!
  • Mr. Hawk, let me get this straight. You want me to turn my discovery over to you so you can blackmail our government?

Others

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  • First Referee: There's nothing in the rule book that says one team can't jump higher than the other.
  • Biff Hawk: Oh, it's just Neddy the Nut out flying his old Model T.

Dialogue

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[The fire crew has arrived to rescue Alonzo Hawk, who is now bouncing out of control.]
Fire Chief: [shouting through a megaphone] Mr. Hawk! This is the Fire Chief speaking! We'll have everything under control in just a moment. Now Mr. Hawk, try to relax.
Alonzo J. Hawk: Relax? How can I relax, you fat-head?
[The fire crew's net has been accidentally broken by Alonzo Hawk during their attempt to rescue him.]
Fireman: I told you we needed a new one.
Fire Chief: You told me? What do you think I've been telling the town council? How am I supposed to buy a new net without an appropriation?
Fireman: Well, don't get hot. I only mentioned it.
Fire Chief: Well, you just keep the kinks out of the fire hose. That's all I want from you. I'm the Chief!
[Prof. Brainard has repeatedly slammed his "Flubberized" Model T down of Prof. Ashton's car roof while in motion, causing to go out of control and crash into a police car.]
Prof. Shelby Ashton: [as he and the two officers get out of their crashed cars] Officer! Help me! It's after me! Help me!
Officer Hanson: I do hope that you will excuse my appearance, but I was just having a cup of boiling hot coffee.
Prof. Shelby Ashton: But it's after me!
Officer Hanson: What's after you?
Prof. Shelby Ashton: I don't know, some kind of a... thing!
Officer Hanson: A thing? Can you describe it?
Prof. Shelby Ashton: I don't know. I didn't see it. But it flies. And it made a noise, like, uh, "Aaa-OOO-gah! Aaa-OOO-gah!" And then it banged down on the top of my car! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! And when I looked, there wasn't anything there.
Officer Hanson: Oh, that kind of a thing.

Cast

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