The Absent-Minded Professor

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The Absent-Minded Professor is a 1961 black-and-white Walt Disney Productions film based on the short story A Situation of Gravity.

Directed by Robert Stevenson. Written by Samuel W. Taylor and Bill Walsh.

Professor Ned Brainard[edit]

  • Let's see, flying rubber... Flubber!
  • Corners beautifully, doesn't it?
  • I'm an American! See it? My credit cards!
  • Substance X, we dub thee... Flubber!
  • Mr. Hawk, let me get this straight. You want me to turn my discovery over to you so you can blackmail our government?


  • First Referee: There's nothing in the rule book that says one team can't jump higher than the other.
  • Biff Hawk: Oh, it's just Neddy the Nut out flying his old Model T.


[The fire crew has arrived to rescue Alonzo Hawk, who is now bouncing out of control.]
Fire Chief: [shouting through a megaphone] Mr. Hawk! This is the Fire Chief speaking! We'll have everything under control in just a moment. Now Mr. Hawk, try to relax.
Alonzo J. Hawk: Relax? How can I relax, you fat-head?

[The fire crew's net has been accidentally broken by Alonzo Hawk during their attempt to rescue him.]
Fireman: I told you we needed a new one.
Fire Chief: You told me? What do you think I've been telling the town council? How am I supposed to buy a new net without an appropriation?
Fireman: Well, don't get hot. I only mentioned it.
Fire Chief: Well, you just keep the kinks out of the fire hose. That's all I want from you. I'm the Chief!

[Prof. Brainard has repeatedly slammed his "Flubberized" Model T down of Prof. Ashton's car roof while in motion, causing to go out of control and crash into a police car.]
Prof. Shelby Ashton: [as he and the two officers get out of their crashed cars] Officer! Help me! It's after me! Help me!
Officer Hanson: I do hope that you will excuse my appearance, but I was just having a cup of boiling hot coffee.
Prof. Shelby Ashton: But it's after me!
Officer Hanson: What's after you?
Prof. Shelby Ashton: I don't know, some kind of a... thing!
Officer Hanson: A thing? Can you describe it?
Prof. Shelby Ashton: I don't know. I didn't see it. But it flies. And it made a noise, like, uh, "Aaa-OOO-gah! Aaa-OOO-gah!" And then it banged down on the top of my car! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! And when I looked, there wasn't anything there.
Officer Hanson: Oh, that kind of a thing.


External links[edit]

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