The Aristocats

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The Aristocats is a 1970 American animated feature produced and released by Walt Disney Productions. The story revolves around a family of aristocratic cats, and how an alley cat acquaintance helps them after their butler kidnapped them to gain his mistress' fortune which was meant to go to the cats.

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman. Written by Ken Anderson.
A purr-fectly wonderful new cartoon feature


[As the kittens try to get through their pet door]
Berlioz: Wait for me! Wait for me!
Marie: Me first! Me first!
Toulouse: Why should you be first?
Marie: 'Cause I'm a lady. That's why.
Toulouse: [scoffs] You're not a lady.
Berlioz: [grabs Marie's tail] You're nothin' but a sister!
Marie: I'll show you if I'm a lady or not.

[Edgar Balthazar is determined to get rid of Duchess and her kittens as soon as possible. Madame will grieve, but she'll get over it. Then Edgar Balthazar will inherit her fortune. He chuckles, a cold evil sound, and pours a handful of sleeping tablets into the pan of creamy milk he is warming on the stove. As he stirs, he hums]
Edgar Balthazar: [sings] Rock-a-bye, kitties. Bye-bye you go. La la la la, and I'm in the dough. Oh, Edgar, you sly fox. [He doesn't have long to wait now. He pours the brew into the cats' feeding bowls]

Napoleon: Now you go for the tires, and I'll go right for the seat of the problem.
Lafayette: Now, how come you always get the tender part? [stumbles on his own ear]
Napoleon: Because I outrank you, that's why. Now stop beating your gums and sound the attack! [Lafayette barks several times] No, that's mess call!
Lafeyette: Ha ha, makin' a mess of it huh?
Napoleon: YOU can be REPLACED, you know.

[Just at this time, two white geese come walking over the top of the hill. Named Amelia and Abigail, they are sisters on holiday from England]
Abigail: What beautiful countryside.
Amelia: Yes. So much like our own darling England. [She glances toward the river] I say, look over there. [Her sister's eyes widen. Thomas O'Malley, trying to save himself, is clutching a willow branch that is overhanging the river] Fancy that...a cat learning to swim. He's going about it all the wrong road.
Abigail: We must correct him. [She always exists that everything be done in the correct manner]
[The two geese waddle down the bank and slip into the river]
Amelia: Sir...sir! You are most fortunate we happened along. We're here to help you. You will never learn to swim properly with that willow branch in your mouth. [She bites into Thomas O'Malley's lifeline] Snip, snip. Here we go!
Thomas O'Malley: Don't do that! Blub! [He sinks]
Abigail: Oh, he takes to water like a fish, doesn't he? A very enthusiastic…
[Thomas O'Malley tries to catch them by the tail-feathers. They laugh]
Amelia: No, thank you! This is no time for fun and games!
[Bubbles begin to form on the surface of the water. The geese look worried]
Abigail: Gracious, don't suppose....?
Amelia: Oh yes! Yes I do. Bottoms up!
[They dive, and emerge without Thomas O'Malley]
Amelia and Abigail: Deeper!
[They dive to the bottom of the riverbed]

Thomas O'Malley: Ya know something? I like Uncle Waldo.
Duchess: Especially when he's marinated.

Napoleon: Listen! Hear that?
Lafayette: Shucks, Napoleon; that ain't nothin' but a li'l old cricket bug!
Napoleon: It's squeaky shoes approachin'.
Lafayette: Aw! Cricket-bugs don't wear shoes!
Napoleon: Hush yer mouth! They're Oxford shoes… size nine-and-a-half. Hole in the left sole, it sounds like!
Lafayette: What color are they?
Napoleon: Why, they're black;–– Now, how would I know that?! Wait a minute! Now the squeaking has stopped.
Lafayette: I still say it was a li'l old cricket bug.
Napoleon: I'm the leader! I'll decide what it was! [pause] It was a li'l old cricket bug.
Lafayette: I'll see in the morning, Napoleon.

Lafeyette: D-D-D-D-Did y' see him?
Napoleon: No, no, he sneaked up behind me and tailgated me.
Lafeyette: Well he didn't hurt me; he hit me on the head!
Napoleon: SHH. Listen. Sounds a one-wheeled old....
Lafeyette: A one-wheeled what?
Napoleon: You're not gonna believe this, but it's a one-wheeled haystack! Look! there it goes! Come on! After it!

Thomas O'Malley: Well, there it is! My old pent-house pad! It's not exactly the Ritz, but it's peaceful an' quiet.
[Trumpet music fills the air]
Thomas O'Malley: [laughing] Ah! Oh, no! Sounds like Scat Cat and his gang've dropped by.
Duchess: Ah! Friends of yours?
Thomas O'Malley: Yeah, they're old buddies, and… well, they're real swingers.
Duchess: Shwingers? [sic]. What is a shwinger?
Thomas O'Malley: Well, not exactly your type, Duchess; maybe we'd better go somewhere else.
Duchess: O no no no! I'd like to see your "pad" and meet your "Scat Cat".
Thomas O'Malley: Well, okay.

[During "Ev'rybody Wants to be a Cat" Berlioz and Shun Gon play the piano. The latter plays an East Asian riff using two pairs of chopsticks]
Shun Gon: Shanghai Hong Kong egg foo young! [chortles] Fortune Cookie always wrong! [guffaws again and looks at Berlioz] Oh, that's a hot one!

[Duchess and her kittens are trapped]
Toulouse: I told you it was Edgar.
Berlioz: Aw, shut up, Toulouse!

[Roquefort arrives in the alley where Scat Cat and his gang hang out; Scat Cat snatches him and holds him up]
Scat Cat: What's a little swinger like you doin' on our side of town?
Roquefort: Oh, please, I was sent here for help! By a cat!
Scat Cat: Why this is outrageous! It's crazy!
Roquefort: Honest! He told me just to mention his name!
Billy Boss: So? Start mentioning names, rodent!
Roquefort: Oh, now, wait a minute. D-don't rush me. His name is - O'Toole.
Scat Cat: I don't dig him. Strike one.
Roquefort: O...O'Brien!
Scat Cat: Strike two.
Roquefort: Oh, boy. You believe me, don't you?
Hit Cat: Keep talkin', Mousy.
Roquefort: How about...O...Grady?
Scat Cat: Mousy, you just struck out. [points a claw at Roquefort] Any last words?
Roquefort: Oh, why did I listen to that O'Malley cat?!
Alley Cats: [surprised] O'Malley?!
Scat Cat: Hold it, fellas! This one's on the roll!

[Last lines]
Lafayette: Hey, Napoleon, that sounds like the end.
Napoleon: Wait a minute. I'm the leader. I'll say when it's the end. [the words "The End" hit him on the head] It's the end. [thud]


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