The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)

The Berenstain Bears is an animated comedy television series based on Stan and Jan Berenstain's Berenstain Bears children's book series, produced by The Joseph Cates Company and DIC Entertainment Green Vortex.

It aired in the United States from September 14, 1985 until March 7, 1987 on CBS.

Season 1

The Messy Room

Mr. Mailbear: Good morning, Mrs. Bear. There's some mail for you.

Mama Bear: Thank you, Mr. Mailbear. Oh, good. My "Treehouse Keeping" magazine.

Sister Bear: Hi, Mama, excuse us. Hey, how about a game of tiddlywinks?

Brother Bear: Okay. I'll race you up to our room.

Sister Bear: You're on!

Mama Bear: Those cubs! With that kind of energy, you'd think they could take better care of their room. Ahh...speaking of rooms, aren't these lovely?

---

Mama Bear: Dear, just look at these lovely rooms.

Papa Bear: But what? Rooms? What rooms? Help! Where am I?

Mama Bear: These model tree house rooms in "Treehouse Keeping" magazine. Aren't they lovely?

Papa Bear: Oh, they're nice enough, I suppose. But certainly, no lovelier than the rooms in our very own tree house. This lovely, gracious neat is a thin living room, cozy, warm, comfortable in the extreme.

Mama Bear: Oh, it's alright, I suppose.

Papa Bear: And our delightful dining room, a room to be proud of. Floor clean enough to eat off. Not to mention the table.

Mama Bear: Yes, but–

Papa Bear: And, of course, your wonderful spick-and-span, perfectly delicious kitchen, a model room if ever there was one.

Mama Bear: Yes, but–

Papa Bear: Yes, but what?

Mama Bear: Yes, but there's one place in this treehouse I'm not proud of. Brother and Sister's room is a mess, a perfectly dreadful knock-down drag-out wall-to-wall mess. And I'm not going to stand for it any longer! I've put up with that messy room long enough!

Papa Bear: Well, dear. I've got some urgent work to do in my shop.

[Meanwhile in Brother and Sister's bedroom]

Brother Bear: For Pete's sake, Sister, will you take your shot? We're playing tiddlywinks, not chess.

Sister Bear: Just hold your horses. I didn't get to be tiddlywinks champ of Bear Country School by rushing my shot...!

[The cubs hear Mama's footsteps banging in the hallway floor, approaching the cubs' bedroom.]

Sister Bear: What's that? An earthquake?

Brother Bear: Worse, it's Mama on the war path. Climbing the stairs.

Sister Bear: Stomping along the hall.

Brother Bear: Pounding on the door.

[Mama Bear pounds on the door]

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: [in sing-songy voice] ♪ Come in. ♪

[Mama Bear pushes the door, which pushes the toys in the way. And instead of answering, she just scowls at the messy room.]

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: [in sing-songy voice] Hi, Mama.

Mama Bear: [scowls] Grrr... [notices the messy bedroom, and notices many spiders and cobwebs] Pretty nice collection of spiders you've found up here!

Sister Bear: Yes, they're very useful. They eat the ants that come in for food crumbs.

Mama Bear: Very clever. Isn't it hard to get around...I mean, in all this mess?

Brother Bear: Not really. Watch.

[Brother playing pogo stick.]

Mama Bear: Very impressive!

[Mama tries to get Brother and Sister's closet door to open.]

Mama Bear: HOW DO YOU GET THIS CLOSET DOOR TO OPEN!?

Sister Bear: Well, we don't bother. We just sort of hang our clothes in different places around the room.

Mama Bear: [smiles] Most impressive. In fact...!

[Then her smile returns, and resumes back to angry outbursts.]

Mama Bear: THIS IS THE MOST IMPRESSIVE MESS I PERSONALLY HAVE EVER SEEN! THE FILTHIEST, DIRTIEST, AND MOST DISGUSTING MESS KNOWN TO BEARS! UNQUESTIONABLY THE NUMBER ONE MESSY ROOM IN ALL BEAR COUNTRY! DESTINED TO GO DOWN IN THE FILTHY, DIRTY HALL OF FAME! AND I AM JUST NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY LONGER! I HAVE HAD IT! NO MORE MRS. NICE GUY (EVER AGAIN)! THE TIME HAS DEFINITELY COME FOR ME TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN!

[When Mama "puts her foot down", she accidentally stomps on Brother's airplane cement. When she says, "No more Mrs. Nice Guy!", that means she is through --about the room-- being Mr. Nice Little Bear.]

Sister Bear: Yecch!

Brother Bear: Yeah, Mama. You have a perfect right to put your foot down. But when you did it, you put it down right on my airplane cement.

Mama Bear: THAT DOES IT! THAT DOES IT! NOW HEAR THIS! I WANT THIS ENTIRE ROOM CLEAN! AND FOR STARTERS, I WANT THIS ENTIRE ROOM PICKED UP! PICKED UP CLEAN! AND I WANT IT DONE IN EXACTLY....!

[She points to the cat clock --that is, as the scene cuts to the clock.]

Mama Bear: FIFTEEN MINUTES!

[Cut to the cubs.]

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: [told they are supposed to tidy up their messy bedroom in 15 minutes] FIFTEEN MINUTES!?

[Cut back to Mama.]

Mama Bear: [frustratingly leaves the bedroom and gives the cubs a chance to clean their bedroom] YOU'VE HEARD ME! FIFTEEN MINUTES!

[She leaves the bedroom. The cubs have three to fifteen minutes to clean up their room.]

Brother Bear: Anyway, that stuff she picked up with her foot as a start.

Sister Bear: Look, we don't have time for smart remarks. You've got some heavy picking up to do.

Brother Bear: I've got some heavy picking up to do. How do you figure that? Most of this mess is yours.

Sister Bear: Oh, yeah? What about these? Your baseball cards? Your ball, bat, and glove?

Brother Bear: Oh yeah? What about these? Your farm animals? Your stuffed bunny?!

[Brother kicks Sister's stuffed bunny.]

Sister Bear: WELL, IF YOU'RE SO SMART, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SWEEP UP WITH YOUR DUMB DINOSAUR TOYS ALL OVER THE FLOOR?!

[Sister sweeps up Brother's dinosaur collection with the broom.]

Brother Bear: THEY'RE NOT TOYS! THEY'RE MODELS! AND YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE! I'M WORKING ON A SET UP OF THE PLEISTOCENE AGE!

Sister Bear: PLEISTOCENE, SCHMEISTOCENE! (MESOZOIC ERA, MY FOOT!) THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR KICKING MY STUFFED BUNNY!

[The cubs pause the argument and notice the time.]

Sister Bear: [looks at the cat clock] You know something?

Brother Bear: What?

Sister Bear: This isn't getting the job done and the minutes are ticking by.

Brother Bear: We better get to work.

[They are cleaned up. That is, except for one thing. It is the pile of toys.]

Brother Bear: Well, what do you think?

Sister Bear: What do I think? I think we're in big trouble.

Brother Bear: And the 15 minutes are almost up.

Sister Bear: What are we going to do!? (We are doomed!)

Brother Bear: I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I'm...thinking I have a creative idea.

Sister Bear: We sure could use one. Mama's going to have a fit if we don't get this whole mess off the floor and out of sight.

Brother Bear: Precisely!

[The cubs --Brother and Sister-- quickly pick up their toys. And they hide the mess in their closet. Then cut back to Mama onscreen. As Mama is in her rocking chair and reading a book, she's keeping track of the time. Before standing back up, she --seriously-- looks at her watch.]

Mama Bear: 15 MINUTES? 15 MINUTES! TIME IS UP!

[Mama zips out of her rocking chair. She opens Brother and Sister's bedroom door, then Brother and Sister reveal the room "cleaned".]

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: [cheering] TA-DA!

[Mama --briefly-- looks around the cubs's bedroom. But she is unaware that the cubs have hidden the mess in their closet.]

Mama Bear: [smiles] This is wonderful! I can actually see the floor.

Brother Bear: Yeah, you can get around the room without a pogo stick.

Mama Bear:[proudly] And look! The floor is clean! And in any language, you can actually open the...!

[Mama is about to open the closet door.]

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: [alarmed and pleadingly tell Mama to not open the closet door] NO MAMA! DON'T OPEN THE...!

Mama Bear: [proudly] (...closet door, indeed.)

[But Mama opens the closet door anyway. Then all of the cubs's toys fell out and the room reveals to become a mess again. That is, after the cubs tried hiding the mess in their closet.]

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: Closet.

[Mama grits her teeth since she is covered up by the cubs's toys. Then she gets up and furiously marches out of the room. She goes down to the basement, gets out a giant box, and writes down the word "TRASH" on it. Then she goes upstairs with it and sets it down onto the floor.]

Brother Bear: What are you going to do, Mama?

Sister Bear: What's the box for?

[Mama Bear picks up one toy after another and starts to throw away some of the cubs's favorite things.]

Mama Bear: IT IS FOR ALL THIS TRASH!

[The cubs then watch in horror as Mama throws away some of their favorite things into the trash box.]

Sister Bear: [picks up a book trying to get it back] NO, MAMA! NO!

Brother Bear: [trying to get back his sport cards] MY BASEBALL CARDS AREN'T TRASH!

Mama Bear: ALL THIS IS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING! THROW-AWAY TRASH!

Sister Bear: [takes out her doll, coloring book, and crayons trying to get it back out of the box] THAT'S NOT TRASH! THAT'S MY BEST DOLL! NOT MY COLORING BOOK AND CRAYONS! HELP! HELP! PLEASE!

[Cut to the workshop where Papa is sawing wood when he hears Brother and Sister's cry for help as Mama throws away some of their favorite things. That is, including Brother's dinosaur collection and baseball glove. See in Brother's next quote.]

Brother Bear: [offscreen] PLEASE MAMA! NOT MY DINOSAUR COLLECTION! (THAT'S NOT JUNK!) STOP! THAT'S MY FIRST BASEBALL MITT!

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: HELP! OH NO! HELP!

Papa Bear: Cries for help! [runs into the house, and enters the bedroom] QUIEEEEEEEET! [seeing the mess in the cubs' bedroom that Mama made] Well, the mess certainly has built up in this room. In fact, it's the worst case of messy build-up I've ever seen. But now let's sit down and talk this over calmly. [the scene cuts to him and the cubs] So you see, this messy room isn't fair. It isn't fair to your Mama and me. We have a lot of other things to take care of. But it isn't fair to you cubs, because you really can't have fun or relax in a room that's such a terrible mess. What you need is a little organization and maybe a box.

Brother Bear: Not a trash box.

Papa Bear: No, a toy box. I'll make you one and maybe a lot of other little boxes for you games and collections.

Sister Bear: And how about one of those boards with all the holes in it. Like you'll have in your shop.

Papa Bear: A pegboard. Good idea.

The Terrible Termite

Raffish Ralph: Who and what in the name of all that's where are you?

Terrible Termite: My friends call me the Terrible Termite... that is, They would if I had any friends...

Too Much Birthday

Mama Bear: [sighing; as she piles that season's pumpkins in a wheelbarrow] I do hope Papa is being careful. He's taking down that big tree today, and...

Papa Bear: [off-screen] TIM-BERRRRRRRRRRR!!!

---

Papa Bear: Oh, good. The ponies and the merry-go-round are here.

Mama Bear: The what?

Papa Bear: Oh, didn't I tell you? I rented ponies and a merry-go-round for the party. It just wouldn't be a party without ponies and a merry-go-round.

---

Sister Bear: Do we have them, Papa?

Papa Bear: Do we have what?

Sister Bear: Annual rings.

Papa Bear: [laughing] No, my dear. We have something better: birthdays and birthday parties. And it seems to me that you're going to be having a birthday party pretty soon.

Sister Bear: A party? Am I going to have a birthday party? [dancing excitedly] A real birthday party with all the trimmings?

Papa Bear: I don't see why not.

---

Brother Bear: [as Sister pins the tail on the donkey just right] Terrific! Way to go! Yeah, Sister!

Sister Bear: [removing the blindfold] Oh goody, I won, I won!

Papa Bear: [presenting one of Sister's friends with a prize] Good work, sonny. Here's your prize.

Sister Bear: But Mama, I won fair and square.

Mama Bear: Of course you won, sweetie, but you can't get the prize because it's your birthday. That wouldn't be polite.

---

Papa Bear: [as Sister is presented with her birthday cake] Okay gang, when I give the signal, Sister's gonna blow out the candles, then we're all gonna sing "Happy Birthday, Sister Bear". [to Sister] Okay sweetie, get set...blow!

---

[Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Brother Bear, and Sister's friends sing "Happy Birthday Sister Bear". And it is sung to the tune of London Bridge.]

Papa Bear, Brother Bear and Sister's friends: [singing] ♪ Happy birthday, Sister Bear, ♪

♪ Sister Bear, Sister Bear. ♪

♪ Happy birthday, Sister Bear. ♪

♪ We all love you! ♪

[But after Papa, Brother and Sister's friends sing "Happy Birthday, Sister Bear", Sister begins crying.]

Mama Bear: Sweetie, what's the matter?! It's your birthday! Why are you so upset?

Sister Bear: [in between tears] This isn't fair! I was the first one out in musical chairs! I didn't get my donkey game prize! I got bounced on the ponies and sick in the merry-go-round! And I don't want to have six cubs! I only want to have three!

[Sister resumes crying.]

Brother Bear: Gee, Sis, how about your presents? You haven't opened them yet.

Papa Bear: And cake and ice cream. You haven't had them yet, either.

---

Sister Bear: I want to thank you for my birthday party, Papa. You and Mama.

Papa Bear: Parties are exciting, sweetie, and presents are lovely, but your Mama is right. Getting to be six years old is pretty important. You're going to be six for a whole year, and it's up to you to make the most of it. To learn, to have fun, to grow in every way.

---

Papa Bear: [eating the last of Sister's birthday cake] You're absolutely right, Mama. [gulps] There is such a thing as too much birthday...and, too much birthday cake. [chuckles nervously]

[Then the cubs chuckle along with him]

NOTE: This is one of the two episodes in the 1985 TV series where Lizzy Bruin appears in. The other is Season 2's "The Trouble with Friends".

No Girls Allowed

Sister Bear: Hey, terrific! A secret clubhouse! Hot diggety! A new clubhouse! A new clubhouse!

[Sister tries to do her victory dance. But then she is stopped. That is, when she hears a drawbridge noise. Brother and the other boys add the finishing touch. That is, onscreen. They reveal a sign --the final touch to the clubhouse-- which says, "NO GIRLS ALLOWED!".)

Sister Bear: No girls allowed?!

Brother and the Other Boy Cubs: [to Sister] YOU'RE RIGHT! NO GIRLS ALLOWED!

Sister Bear: IT ISN'T FAIR! IT ISN'T FAIR! IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!

[Sister runs off crying. Then the scene cuts back to the treehouse. In the next scene, Sister is seen with Mama and Papa. And she tearfully reports to them about the boys/big cubs not letting her into their boy's clubhouse. Mama wanted to hear more. But Papa had heard quite enough.]

Papa Bear: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! IT ISN'T FAIR! IT IS IN FACT FAIR THAT I SHOULD HAVE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE! COME ON, DEAR! NOW WE ARE GOING BACK THERE AND MAKING THEM TAKE YOU INTO THEIR SILLY CLUB! AND IF THEY DON'T, I AM GOING TO TEAR THAT CLUBHOUSE LIMB FROM LIMB!

Sister Bear: Right!

Mama Bear: I don't think that's the answer. Those boys are being unfair. Sometimes boys act that way, so do girls, but whoever does it is wrong. The important thing is not whether you're a boy or a girl, but the sort of person you are. Be that as it may, you can't make cubs play with you.

Sister Bear: No, but you can tear them limb from limb! Come on, Papa!

Mama Bear: Wouldn't it be a better idea for you to form your own club and build a secret clubhouse of your own?

Sister Bear: Could I?

Papa Bear: Why not? I'd be glad to oblige. Why, we can build it in the old climbing tree!

Sister Bear: Terrific! The first thing we'll need is a big sign that says: "No Boys Allowed".

Mama Bear: No, the first thing your club needs is members.

---

Sister Bear: Those boys were just being mean because I outhit them and won all their marbles! They're bad losers!

Mama Bear: I suppose that's true, but you know, there is such a thing as a bad winner, too.

Sister Bear: A bad winner? What's that?

Mama Bear: A bad winner is somebody who makes a big braggy show every time she wins.

Sister Bear: I see what you mean.

Mama Bear: But I think we can work things out.

Learn About Strangers

Stranger: I'm going to set up my orange-and-green radio-controlled job and follow it in the car. Do you want to come along?

Brother Bear: Wow! Can I?

Sister Bear: [Stops him] DON'T YOU DARE!

[The stranger drives away.]

Sister Bear: [sing-songy] ♪BROTHER TALKED TO A STRANGER! BROTHER TALKED TO A STRANGER!♪

[Sister runs back to the house and tells Mama and Papa that Brother talked to a stranger. The scene cuts to Brother who is having a talking-to with Papa.]

Brother Bear: But it was a big, orange-and-green radio-controlled job!

Papa Bear: That doesn't matter! We have rules about strangers, and they're important!

Brother Bear: We have rules about tattletales, too.

Mama Bear: Sister wasn't tattling. Tattling is telling just to be mean. And Sister was telling because she loves you and she was worried.

Brother Bear: Do you think that guy was a bad apple?

Mama Bear: Probably not.

Sister Bear: That's right, but you have to be careful, just in case.

Season 2

In the Dark

Sister Bear: What are you going to take out at the library today?

Brother Bear: Same thing I took out last time.

---

Brother Bear: Help! Screamed the three friends. Help!

Sister Bear: STOP! STOP! STOP READING! STOP! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!

Brother Bear: Sister is a scaredy bear! Sister is a scaredy...!

Papa Bear: Now, now! That will be enough of that! [To Sister] Now sweetie, you mustn't let your imagination run away with you like that. It's only a book.

Brother Bear: [Agrees with Papa] Yeah. It's only a book.

Sister Bear: A STUPID DOPEY SCARY BOOK!

Sister Bear: I heard it! It went... [cowardly moaning like a ghost] ...ooooohhh, oooooohhhh, oooohhh!

Mama Bear: Do you know anything about this, young fella?

Brother Bear: It's like Papa said. She just let her imagination run away with her.

Papa Bear: Uh-huh. [puts Sister Bear back in the top bed] Well, let's just put it this way. [angrily looking down at Brother] If there's anymore "ooh ooh ooh", it's going to be followed by a little "ow, ow, ow!"

Mama Bear: Alright. Let's settle down and get some sleep. Papa and I are going to bed now so we'll be right by and we'll leave the lights on for the time being

Sister Bear: Thank you Mama.

Brother Bear: [Angry] Leave the lights on?! What about me? I can't sleep with the lights on! They keep me awake!

Sister Bear: Well that's just too bad. [Brother angrily gets out of bed and turns the lights off.] HELP!!! CAVE MONSTERS!!! MAMA!!! PAPA!!! COME QUICK!!!

---

[During the night, Sister's fear of the dark causes disruption as the cubs' bedroom light keeps getting switched on and off...]

Sister Bear: Help!

[The lights go on]

Brother Bear: Can't sleep.

[The lights go off]

Sister Bear: Help!

[The lights go on again]

Brother Bear: Can't sleep.

[The lights go off again]

Sister Bear: Help!

[The lights go on yet again]

Brother Bear: Can't sleep!

[The lights go off yet again]

Sister Bear: Help!

[The lights go on]

Brother Bear: Can't sleep...

Forget their Manners

[Brother and Sister Bear started with name-calling]

Sister Bear: HEY! COME ON, SILLYHEAD! DIDN'T YOU HEAR MAMA!?

Brother Bear: I HEARD HER! STOP BEING SUCH A FUZZ BRAIN!

Sister Bear: YOU NOODLEPUSS!

Brother Bear: LAY OFF, YOU LITTLE MINI!

Papa Bear: Now, see here!

---

[In the dining room, Brother and Sister are tugging over one honey jar]

Brother Bear: Gimme that!

Sister Bear: I had it...first!

Brother Bear: Stop grabbing!

Mama Bear: [enters the dining room and sees Brother and Sister fighting over a honey jar] For goodness sake! Where are your manners?! There's plenty of honey for everyone.

---

Mama Bear: I'm calling it the Bear Family Politeness Plan. It seems to me that the best way to fight bad habits is with good habits. For example, if any of us forgets to say "please and thank you" he or she has to sweep the front steps. And pushing or shoving means you have to beat two rugs.

[Echoing from the book, if you forgot a "please" or "thank you" you had to sweep the front steps, if you pushed or shoved you had to beat two rugs, and if you got caught name calling you had to clean the entire cellar.]

Brother Bear: But Mama! All those chores?

Sister Bear: YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR!

Mama Bear: It seems to me that you're the ones that aren't being fair. Manners help us to get along with each other. Without manners...

Papa Bear: [interrupts] Your mama's absolutely right!

Mama Bear: Thanks for your comment, Papa. But interrupting is number 3 on the rude list. And the penalty is dusting the room.

Papa Bear: But...

Mama Bear: You didn't say, "Thank you for the duster". I'm afraid that means after you are finished dusting, you have to sweep the front steps (and that's number 1). [leaves the living room]

[Papa starts dusting the table with a feather duster]

Sister Bear: [reading the chart] Rude noises, what does that mean?

Papa Bear: Oh you know, [blows raspberry]

Mama Bear: Penalty number 7!

Papa Bear: [names the penalty for the 7th rule; as shown on the "Bear Family Politeness Plan" rule list] Weed the garden!?

[Later, Papa dusts the downstairs, sweeps the front steps, pull the weeds from the garden. This was penalties 3, 1, and 7. He was caught interrupting, forgot a "Please" and a "Thank You", and made rude noises. And indeed, when starting the "Bear Family Politeness Plan", forgetting a "Please" or a "Thank You" meant you had to sweep the front steps, pushing or shoving was beat two rugs, interrupting was sweep the front steps, and name calling was cleaning the entire cellar.]

Brother Bear: This is serious. If we're not careful, we may end up doing all those chores.

---

Papa Bear: [after accidentally crashing the car] WHY THAT PIN HEADED FIDDLEBRAIN!

Sister Bear: Papa, that's name calling!

Mama Bear: (Penalty number 4!) You know what the penalty for that is!

Papa Bear: The worst penalty of all! Cleaning our entire cellar!

[Echoing from the book, the penalty for name calling, it was "clean the entire cellar". So Papa gritted his teeth and remembered his manners.]

Driver: [angrily; to Papa after he accidentally bumped his car] You No-good nincompoop! Why I ought too...!

The Truth

[After Brother and Sister accidentally break Mama's best lamp]

Sister Bear: Mama's favorite lamp!

Brother Bear: Smashed all to bits!

Sister Bear: What are we gonna do?!

Mockingbird: [to Brother and Sister] Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get the heck out of here.

[The mockingbird, she flies away. As echoed from the book version, the bear family had some house rules just as any family has. The first rule --out of the three-- it was, "No eating honey in bed!". The second rule was, "No tracking mud on the clean floors!". And the third and final one was, "No playing ball in the house!".]

---

Brother Bear: Oh, my gosh! Here comes Mama!

Sister Bear: Oh, no! What'll we do?

Brother Bear: We could hide the lamp!

Sister Bear: There's no time!

Brother Bear: Well, we can at least hide the soccer ball.

Sister Bear: Hurry, here she comes! Hide it quick!

Mama Bear: Well, I'm back from my shopping. Did you have your milk and cook...? [She sees that her best lamp is broken] My lamp! My very best lamp! What happened to it?

Brother Bear: Well, um...

Sister Bear: You see...

Brother Bear: It got broken.

Mama Bear: I know it got broken! How did it get broken?

Brother Bear: Well, it was a bird!

Sister Bear: A bird? Yes. A bird!

Brother Bear: That's right! A big purple bird with yellow feet!

Sister Bear: Yes! And a red head and green wingtips.

Brother Bear: And funny little red feathers sticking out of its head.

Mama Bear: This bird, did it make any kind of sound?

Brother Bear: It squawked.

Sister Bear: It whistled.

Brother Bear: That's right. It squawked and whistled.

[red-headed purple bird squawking and whistling]

Brother Bear: Then it flew in the window, zoomed around the room, and broke the lamp.

Mama Bear: Well, that was quite an experience.

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: Yeah.

Papa Bear: Well, hello, group! How's every little... [He sees that Mama's best lamp is fully broken] HOLY CATFISH!! What happened to Mama's best lamp?

Mama Bear: It's quite an interesting story. Why don't you tell it to your Papa?

Brother Bear: Well, there was this big green-headed yellow bird with purple feet...

Sister Bear: No! A red-headed purple bird with yellow feet.

Brother Bear: Yeah, yeah. A purple-headed green bird with red feet and yellow wingtips and green feathers growing out of it's...

Sister Bear: No, no, no! A yellow-headed green bird with red feet and purple wingtips and...

Papa Bear: Just a minute, please! You've got me confused. Now, what was it, a yellow bird with green wingtips and purple feet, or a purple bird with green wingtips and yellow feet, or a white bird with black spots, like that soccer ball behind my easy chair? Well, do you two say for yourselves?

Mama Bear: Now, Papa, don't be too hard on them. You see, I'm not worried about the lamp. We can always get a new lamp or we can glue this one back together. What I'm sad about is the thought that maybe, just maybe, my cubs whom I've always trusted, aren't telling me the truth. And trust is not something you can put back together again once it's broken.

[From Mama's saying, buying another lamp is always possible. That is, or gluing the old lamp back together.]

Sister Bear: It wasn't a bird, it was a soccer ball!

Brother Bear: And it was all my fault.

Sister Bear: It was just as much as my fault.

Save the Bees

Sister Bear: A penny for your thoughts, Papa.

Papa Bear: Where's the penny?

Sister Bear: Right here.

Papa Bear: Well, what your old Papa was thinking about...

Mama Bear, Sister Bear and Brother Bear: ...was honey! [chuckle]

Sister Bear: That's all you ever think about, Papa.

Papa Bear: It's all very well to scoff. But the fact is that honey is very important to Bear Country. Not only is it nature's most perfect food, it's the foundation of Bear Country's entire economy. Why, without bees and honey, Bear Country would be in very serious trouble!

---

Weasel McGreed: Just picture it, hundreds of thousands of these little darlings gulping down those bees, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp!

Raffish Ralph: I'm picturing, I'm picturing!

Weasel McGreed: Hour after hour! Day after day! And after a while, no more bees!

Raffish Ralph: Ah, and no more bees means no more honey!

Weasel McGreed: And no more honey means the end of Bear Country as we know it!

---

Weasel McGreed: "Mission accomplished!" [laughs maniacally] Release another bee! [laughs maniacally]

---

Professor Actual Factual: They've done it! By Jove, they've done it! Brother and Sister have saved the bees!

Brother Bear and Sister Bear: With a little help from our friends.

Get in a Fight

Brother Bear: GET YOUR DOPEY FEET OUT OF MY FACE!

[Sister puts her face into Brother's face.]

Sister Bear: MY FEET AREN'T DOPEY, GROUCHPUSS! AND THEY'RE NOT IN YOUR FACE!

Brother Bear: NOW HEAR THIS! GET YOUR DOPEY FACE OUT OF MY FACE!

Sister Bear: [still has her face in Brother's face] OH YEAH!? WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S DOPEY, BROTHER BEAR!

[With a smirk, Sister zips out of her bunk fast and runs in front of Brother.] BECAUSE WHILE YOU SIT THERE BEING A CLAUD, I'M GETTING INTO THE BATHROOM BEFORE YOU! AND I'M LOCKING THE DOOR!

[Sister --after she says this-- runs off to the bathroom, gets into it before Brother, and locks the door. That is, after saying she is going to go to the bathroom ahead of him. And she next says...!]

Sister Bear: [from inside the bathroom] (AND YOU CAN HAVE SOME TIME IN THE BATHROOM, IF I LEAVE ANY!)

[Sister silently --but mockingly-- laughs after saying this.]

Brother Bear: [pounding on the door] HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU LITTLE TWERP, YOU UNLOCK THIS DOOR, YOU LITTLE NERD! IF YOU DON'T UNLOCK THIS DOOR!

[Sister vows that Brother can have some time in the bathroom if she leaves any time for him. But --forgetting that she is taking a long time in the bathroom and isn't sure whether she should let Brother have some time in the bathroom-- brushes her teeth. While she washes her face, combs her fur, and brushes her teeth, she sings a classic children's song called The Mulberry Bush. Then the scene cuts to Sister Bear who is singing The Mulberry Bush while brushing her teeth.]

Sister Bear: [sings] ♪ This is the way we brush our teeth, ♪

♪ Brush our teeth, brush our teeth, ♪

[Brother pauses banging and listens to Sister singing.]

Brother Bear: [in between outbursts] She is singing!

Sister Bear: [singing] ♪ This is the way we brush our teeth, ♪

♪ So early in the morning. ♪

♪ Here we go round the mulberry bush, ♪

♪ The mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, ♪

♪ Here we go round the mulberry bush, ♪

♪ So early in the morning. ♪

[The scene cuts back to Brother.]

Brother Bear: [resumes outbursts] IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN THERE, I'M GOING TO FLATEN YOU OUT AND ROLL YOU UP LIKE A CARPET!

Papa Bear: [angrily comes out of the bedroom] Brother Bear!

Brother Bear: [realizes] Hi, Papa.

Papa Bear: What in the name of Bear Country is going on here?! (You know better than to shout at your sister!)

Brother Bear: Well, you see, Papa...

Papa Bear: What possible excuse could you have for banging on doors and calling your sister names?!

Brother Bear: (But she's taking too long, and she's doing it on purpose!) She put her feet in my face, then when I told her not to, she called me "Grouchpuss". She got into the bathroom before of me and locked the door. Then when I ask her to come out, she started to sing and…

Papa Bear: [cuts him off] None of which is any kind of excuse for pounding on doors and calling names!

Sister Bear: [comes out of the bathroom] Good morning, Papa. It certainly is a lovely day.

Papa Bear: Good morning, Sweetie. (to Brother angrily) Now why can't you be sweet and cooperate like your sister?

Brother Bear: [turns red with anger, growls furiously and angrily slams the door] GRRR! I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK TO HER AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE!!!

Sister Bear: You got a deal, Buster. [Brother Bear slams the door furiously] Papa, dear, would you ask that person beside you for the honey?

Mama Bear: Hmm...

Papa Bear: Not speaking.

Brother Bear: Mama, dear, would you ask that person beside you for the butter?

Mama Bear: Ohh! Ohh!

---

[After Brother steals back his toy trucks and planes and puts them at a high shelf in a closet where Sister can't reach them.]

Sister Bear: Well, I like that. Some unauthorized person has been using my modeling clay.

[Sister steals back her clay and furiously squishes the clay dinosaurs, turns them into a lump, and angrily rolls it into a ball.]

Brother Bear: It took me a week to make those! [angrily goes to the jigsaw puzzle] Well, what about my jigsaw puzzle that some little twerp has been putting together?!

[As echoed from the book, Sister stole back her clay --which Brother made into clay dinosaurs-- and rolled them up into one big lump. Brother --on the other hand-- stole back his toy trucks and planes and hid them in a high closet shelf. And Sister could not reach them. Upon continuation, Brother angrily knocks down the puzzle pieces, everything tumbling down the floor.]

Sister Bear: You no-good rat! I've been working on that puzzle for two weeks!

Brother Bear: What about my clay dinosaurs?! I was working on them for a school project!

Sister Bear: Oh, yeah?! Well, my clay is my clay and you have absolutely no right!

Brother Bear: I have every right! You're always using my stuff: my skateboard, my hockey stick, my...

Sister Bear: Never mind about your stuff, you no-good sword head!

Brother Bear: You're the sword head, you little silly nit-wit!

Sister Bear: WHY YOU LITTLE OVERGROWN! YOU JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Brother Bear: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!

Papa Bear: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON UP THERE?! I WANT THAT SHOUTING STOPPED THIS INSTANT! UNDERSTAND?!

Sister Bear: It's all Brother's fault! He called me names!

Brother Bear: All my fault?! It's all her fault!

Papa Bear: [angrily roars in frustration] I DON'T CARE WHOSE FAULT IT IS! I WANT THIS FIGHTING AND BICKERING STOPPED! STOP, YOU HEAR?! [Papa, Brother, and Sister Bear then argue at each other] WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?! FAMILY ABUSE?! I WANT THE NOISE STOPPED! STOP, YOU HEAR?!

[Mama whistles to stop them.]

Sister Bear: I didn't know you whistle that loud, Mama.

Mama Bear: Well, I can. And I can also tell you that I've had quite enough of this foolish fighting. Why, I don't think you two even remember what you're fighting about. [picks up the cubs, sits down on her armchair, and hugs Brother and Sister on her lap]

The Trouble with Friends

[Sister and Lizzy pretend that they are playing pretend school. That is, pretend first grade. As Lizzy --who pretends to be the first grade teacher-- teaches the alphabet to the pretend preschool class, the pretend school pointer Lizzy has is revealed to be a stick or twig. Echoed from the book, Lizzy she had a pointer stick in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other.]

Lizzy: Please be seated Sister (and class). It is time for your lessons. First, I am going to teach you the alphabet. The first letter of the alphabet is "A".

[Lizzy --with the piece of chalk in the right hand-- writes a capital "A" on the pretend chalk board. That is, as she --in the left hand-- holds the pointer stick. Before she can ask the class if any of them know what the second letter of the alphabet is, Sister --pretending to be one of her "pretend students"-- interrupts Lizzy --who is the "pretend teacher"-- wants to have the pointer and be the teacher.]

Sister Bear: Now just a minute! Who said you are going to be the teacher?! When I play school (preschool), I'm the teacher! And not only that! I already know the alphabet!

Lizzy: [to Sister] Sister Bear!? If you don't sit down this minute, I'm going to keep you after school!

Sister Bear: Is that so? [poking with her finger on Lizzy's belly] Well, if you don't give me that pointer, I'm going to keep you after school!

Lizzy: OH NO YOU'RE NOT!

Sister Bear: OH YES, I AM!

[Sister grabs the pointer from Lizzy. They both wrestle for the pointer stick. All of a sudden, the stick snaps in half. Then the scene turns to Sister and Lizzy. And they each have a half of the stick --as Sister had broken it.]

Lizzy: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU BROKE MY POINTER!

[That is what Lizzy says to Sister after Sister broke and totaled her pointer. In fact, Sister broke --and totaled-- it beyond repair.]

Sister Bear: HERE! KEEP YOUR OLD POINTER! (HERE IS YOUR DOPEY POINTER BACK!)

[Sister throws the pointer stick down in front of Lizzy's feet.]

Sister Bear: I'M NEVER GOING TO PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN!

---

Lizzy: Sister's mad, and I'm glad!

Sister Bear: Lizzie-Lizzie in a tizzy!

Lizzy: Sister's mad, and I'm glad!

Sister Bear: Lizzie-Lizzie in a tizzy!

Mama Bear: Back so soon?

Sister Bear: I'm never going to play with that Lizzy Bruin again! She's much too braggy and bossy!

---

[Sister and Lizzy make up for the fight yesterday.]

Lizzy: [to Sister] Here is your doll back. You can be the teacher as many times as you want.

Sister: [to Lizzy for a better idea] Or we can take turns.

[But even though Sister still broke and totaled Lizzy's pointer stick, she and Lizzy bury the hatchet. Sister's idea does sound great though. Her idea is taking turns being the kindergarten/first grade teacher.]

Voice cast

• Ruth Buzzi as Mama Bear, Gran, Teacher Jane, Officer Marguerite, Queen Nectar and additional voices
• Brian Cummings as Papa Q. Bear, Mayor Honeypot, Too-Tall, Bigpaw, Jake, Henchweasels and additional voices
• David Mendenhall as Brother Bear
• Christina Lange as Sister Bear
• Josh Rodine as Cousin Freddy
• Frank Welker as Raffish Ralph, Professor Actual Factual, Weasel McGreed, Gramps, Farmer Ben, Henchweasels, Snuff the Dog and additional voices
• Henry Corden, Linda Gary, Marissa Mendenhall, Marilyn Schreffler and John Stephenson as additional voices