The Brothers Solomon
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- [discussing plans for conception with their willing surrogate, Janine]
- John Solomon: I literally cannot wait to feel myself inside you!
- Janine: Whoa! The only thing you're going to feel yourself inside of is a cold Dixie cup!
- Dean Solomon: Well, that certainly doesn't make your vagina sound very appealing."
- [talking about the unfortunate luck a the end of one of Dean's dates]
- John Solomon: So she got hit by a bus, huh? Poor girl.
- Dean Solomon: Yeah, the bus took a pretty serious hit too. I mean she was a large girl. Comfortably in the 200s.
- [discussing adoption options with agency representative and father]
- John Solomon: Do you have any pictures of the kids? Something that we can... [points to picture of adoption agency representatives son] Oh, Dean. How about that little guy?
- Dean Solomon: No friggin way! Under no circumstances. Hes got like Bells Palsy or something. [agency representative appears visibly upset]
- [when trying to figure out a plan to conceive a child]
- John Solomon: I think we maybe need to broaden our search to include less conventional methods of having a baby.
- Dean Solomon: Like anal?
- [hollering up a stairwell]
- Dean Solomon: THERE YOU GO AGAIN, MAKING ME A BETTER PERSON!