The Cable Guy

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The Cable Guy is a 1996 film about a cable guy who stalks one of his customers after installing his cable.

Directed by Ben Stiller. Written by Lou Holtz, Jr.
He Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy.(taglines)

Chip Douglas[edit]

  • I learned the facts of life by watching The Facts of Life!
  • You know, the problem with real life is there's no danger music! [begins humming]
  • I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter.
  • Time to take a ride on the information superhighway.
  • Yeah, I was taking a shower and I heard the phone ring. Has that ever happened to you? Call me back later, we'll talk about it.
  • You can watch the Louvre on one channel or watch female mud-wrestling on another! You can do your shopping at home or play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam!
  • He's projecting all of his anger onto me. Maybe I should go.
  • Doth thou have a mug of ale for me and me mate? He has been pitched in battle for a fortnight, and has a king's thirst for the frosty brew that doth might brow for doth!
  • Really? So you call me? Ha, funny how you call when you NEED something. Is that how you treat people?
  • (during Steven's nightmare)I just wanna hang out! NO BIG DEEEEEAAAALLL!!!


Cop: Play us a song!
Chip: Oh, no! I couldn't... all right, already. I fought the law, and the law won. You might recognize this song as performed by Jefferson Airplane, in a little rockumentary called Gimme Shelter, about the Rolling Stones and their nightmare at Altamont. That night the Oakland chapter of the Hell's Angels had their way. Tonight, it's my turn.

Steven: Can I get a knife and fork?
Melinda: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils at Medieval Times. Now, would you like a refill on that Pepsi?
Steven: There were no utensils, but there was Pepsi?
Melinda: Dude, I've got a lot of tables.


  • He Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy.
  • For Steven Kovacs, The Price Of Cable...Just Went Up.
  • There's No Such Thing as Free Cable.
  • Once You're Hooked...You're His.


External links[edit]

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