The Campaign (film)
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- In my lifetime, I have made over 100,000 phone calls, and maybe 1,000 of them were obscene. That's a very small percentage!
- You know the difference between your mom and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow me around after I dump a load in it.
- You get my son to call you daddy, I fuck your wife!
- I'm here to make you not suck.
- Dylan Huggins: One time I put a firefly in my butthole.
- Marty Huggins: [horrified] Why?
- Dylan Huggins: So I could see my farts glow.
- Marty Huggins: I'll tell you this, I'll make you proud. I will. I'll make you - I'll make you real proud.
- Raymond Huggins: I'd say there's mathematically zero percent chance of that happening. Your brother Tripp is a bullseye. But you look Richard Simmons crapped out a goddamn hobbit.
- Marty Huggins: Dad, if you're still holding a grudge because I wore Crocs to Mom's funeral... like I've told you a thousand times, I'm sorry. Mom would've wanted it that way. She was casual.
- Marty: Wouldn't you like to hear Cam Brady recite the Lord's Prayer?
- Cam: If the media would mind turning off all their recording devices and closing their eyes. [observes Mitch helping him] Our Father, Art, who is up in Heaven. Aloe Vera be thy name. The thigh... Thy kingdom... come... the magic kingdom. As it is on Earth in a helicopter. Give us this day our daily... pizza. And let us digest it. Forgive us, forgive our passes we forget sometimes. On women folk with their... to dine, like that is a nice caboose you got there. [is cut off] That's not part of it, I know that. Keep your heads bowed please. Forgive our tress passes. And lead us not into the Temptations for we are tired of their music and dancing. And deliver us from evil with your sword and mighty falcon. Forever and ever and ever. Amen.
- Wolf Blitzer: Bizarre news coming out of of the 14th district congressional race in North Carolina. Now, get this: Cam Brady, four-time congressman, punched a baby.
- Chris Matthews: This is likely to hurt him with the Christian right, social conservatives. Really any group that opposes baby-punching.
- Bill Maher: Baby is fine, and he said he punches like a three year old.
- Cam: People are taking this thing entirely out of context.
- Mitch: No. You did punch that baby.
- Cam: Is anyone asking how my hand feels after punching that iron like jaw of that baby? I can barely make a fist!
- Will Ferrell - Camden "Cam" Brady
- Zach Galifianakis - Martin Sylvester "Marty" Huggins
- Jason Sudeikis - Mitch Wilson
- Katherine LaNasa - Rose Brady
- Dylan McDermott - Tim Wattley
- John Lithgow - Glenn Motch
- Dan Aykroyd - Wade Motch
- Brian Cox - Raymond Huggins
- Sarah Baker - Mitzi Huggins
- Grant Goodman - Clay Huggins
- Kya Haywood - Dylan Huggins
- Karen Maruyama - Mrs. Yao
- Taryn Terrell - Janette
- Josh Lawson - Tripp Huggins
- P.J. Byrne - Rick
- Tzi Ma - Mr. Zheng
- Jack McBrayer - Mr. Mendenhall
- Kate Lang Johnson - Shana St. Croix
- Scott A Martin - Wes Talager
- Steve Tom - Representative Ben Langley
- Seth Morris - Confession Husband
- Nick Smith - Courtroom cameraman
- John Goodman (uncredited) - Scott Talley
- Cameos as themselves
- Wolf Blitzer
- Piers Morgan
- Bill Maher
- Chris Matthews
- Dennis Miller
- Lawrence O'Donnell
- Joe Scarborough
- The Miz
- Mika Brzezinski
- Willie Geist
- Ed Schultz
- Bachman & Turner
- Dustin Milligan (uncredited)
- Rob Mariano