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The Campaign (film)

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The Campaign is a 2012 film about an incumbent Representative embroiled in personal scandal who faces a no-holds-barred challenge from a naive newcomer funded by two unscrupulous billionaire lobbyist brothers.

Directed by Jay Roach. Written by Chris Henchy and Shawn Harwell.
MAY THE BEST LOSER WIN.

Cam Brady

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  • In my lifetime, I have made over 100,000 phone calls, and maybe 1,000 of them were obscene. That's a very small percentage!
  • You know the difference between your mom and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow me around after I dump a load in it.
  • You get my son to call you daddy, I fuck your wife!

Tim Wattley

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  • I'm here to make you not suck.

Dialogue

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Dylan Huggins: One time I put a firefly in my butthole.
Marty Huggins: [horrified] Why?
Dylan Huggins: So I could see my farts glow.
Marty Huggins: I'll tell you this, I'll make you proud. I will. I'll make you - I'll make you real proud.
Raymond Huggins: I'd say there's mathematically zero percent chance of that happening. Your brother Tripp is a bullseye. But you look Richard Simmons crapped out a goddamn hobbit.
Marty Huggins: Dad, if you're still holding a grudge because I wore Crocs to Mom's funeral... like I've told you a thousand times, I'm sorry. Mom would've wanted it that way. She was casual.
Marty: Wouldn't you like to hear Cam Brady recite the Lord's Prayer?
Cam: If the media would mind turning off all their recording devices and closing their eyes. [observes Mitch helping him] Our Father, Art, who is up in Heaven. Aloe Vera be thy name. The thigh... Thy kingdom... come... the magic kingdom. As it is on Earth in a helicopter. Give us this day our daily... pizza. And let us digest it. Forgive us, forgive our passes we forget sometimes. On women folk with their... to dine, like that is a nice caboose you got there. [is cut off] That's not part of it, I know that. Keep your heads bowed please. Forgive our tress passes. And lead us not into the Temptations for we are tired of their music and dancing. And deliver us from evil with your sword and mighty falcon. Forever and ever and ever. Amen.
Wolf Blitzer: Bizarre news coming out of of the 14th district congressional race in North Carolina. Now, get this: Cam Brady, four-time congressman, punched a baby.
Chris Matthews: This is likely to hurt him with the Christian right, social conservatives. Really any group that opposes baby-punching.
Bill Maher: Baby is fine, and he said he punches like a three year old.
Cam: People are taking this thing entirely out of context.
Mitch: No. You did punch that baby.
Cam: Is anyone asking how my hand feels after punching that iron like jaw of that baby? I can barely make a fist!
Mitch: I didn't sign up for this.
Cam: Oh really? What did you sign up for, Mitch? The big fat pussy whose too afraid to do what takes to win club?!
Mitch: You gotta calm down. You're going crazy on me.
Cam: I'm crazy because I refuse to lose?!
Mitch: I think so.
Cam: GODDAMN IT, MITCH! [throws a box on the ground] GODDAMN IT! My feet are taped to the bicycle on this one! I will do anything it takes to win!
Mitch: Man, hey...
Cam: Even if it means lying! [picks up a phone] Or physically hurting someone!
Mitch: Easy, easy, easy, put that down!
Cam: Or branding myself with a coat hanger!
Mitch: All right...
Cam: In the shape of a V for victory! [Mitch moves Cam into his office]
Mitch: Okay, I get it. [to the rest of the colleagues] Okay, I'm sorry, everybody...
Cam: [coming out from the other side of the room] Even if it means listening to Metallica...
Mitch: [to the colleagues] He's a little stressed out.
Cam: In a sauna while I do push-ups with a naked Shana on my back!
Mitch: Come on, man.
Cam: Is that crazy?!
Mitch: I think so.
Cam: Do I seem like a crazy person?! Or are you the crazy one?!
Mitch: You gotta stop it.
[Cam shouts gibberish]
Mitch: Okay, sit down.
[Cam shouts more gibberish]
Mitch: Sit the fuck down right now. [Cam sits down] Breathe. Just breathe, okay? [Cam calms down] Now, what is going on with you? This is getting out of hand.
Cam: [calmly] Okay, look. Here's the deal, Mitch. I did get a little crazy there.
Mitch: Yes, you did.
Cam: But I gotta tell you, this is what it's gonna take to win.
Mitch: [pause] Cam, I've been here for eight years with you, by your side. And we've done some great things. But I don't know what the hell's gotten into you.
Cam: What?
Mitch: And to be honest with you, I'm pretty goddamn disappointed. I'm sorry. [gets up from his seat]
Cam: Okay, well, get out of here! Go! Anyone can do your job!
Mitch: Hey.
Cam: Anyone!
[Mitch leaves]

Cast

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Cameos as themselves
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