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The Happiest Millionaire

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The Happiest Millionaire is a 1967 musical film based upon the true story of Philadelphia Main Line millionaire Anthony J. Drexel Biddle.

Directed by Norman Tokar. Written by AJ Carothers, based on the play that was based on the book My Philadelphia Father by Cordelia Drexel Biddle.
It's the happiest musical of the year! (taglines)

Dialogue

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John Lawless: Now there's a gorgeous night! Are you getting ready for a party, Mrs. Worth?
Mrs. Worth: [seriously] No, Mr. Biddle's on a chocolate cake diet.
John Lawless: I beg your pardon?
Mrs. Worth: He says it's the perfect food, containing "every essential element."
John Lawless: [singing] The night before I sailed away, they come from far and near. All me friends, and all me kin, to share a partin' tear. We knew we'd never meet again, and yet 'twas clear to see, I'd always be a part o' them, and them a part of me! I'll always be Irish, 'cause that's 'ow I began! I'll always be Irish, I'll say that to any man! And when I'm an American, I'll be a good one too... I'll be truly as American as Irish stew!
[the alligators are frozen solid in their pools]
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [panicking] JOHN! My alligators! Look at my alligators! JOHN!
John Lawless: Yes, sir, you yelled, sir?
[sees the alligators, rushes to help]
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [closing windows] Why are these windows open?
John Lawless: [also closing windows] Must've been the new maid, sir.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: WHAT new maid?
Miss Cordelia Biddle: Her name is Florence, dear, she started this afternoon.
John Lawless: She was complaining about the smell.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: What smell?
John Lawless: Well, the alligators, they do have a certain...
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [threateningly] WHAT?
[John looks at Mrs. Biddle for help]
Miss Cordelia Biddle: [soothingly] We're accustomed to it, dear.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Oh.
John Lawless: [closing the last window] She probably decided to give the room an airing, and forgot to close up again.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [angrily] Well, of all the stupid, idiotic... Get an axe!
Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: [shocked] Anthony!
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Not for Florence, for the alligators! Maybe they're still alive in there, we'll chop 'em out!
[first lines]
John Lawless: [singing] Well, now, ain't this an elegant neighborhood, all the residents dressed so fine! One day off the boat am I, with a job that's nearly mine! 'Tis a job with an elegant millionaire, and his elegant family! Today I move from immigrant - to high society!
Miss Cordelia Biddle: Where did you meet this young man, Cordy? At a party Aunt Gladys and Uncle Phil gave. I wrote you about...
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: You didn't write us about getting married!
Miss Cordelia Biddle: Well, Papa, he didn't *ask* me until today!
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: What took him so long?
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [singing] I've been bit on my finger! It could've been my leg! It could've been my head, I might've died! In a time of mortal peril, any man should expect that his family will come rushing to his side! What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? My family rushing to my side, what's wrong with that?
John Lawless: [confused] Oh, not a thing, sir, I'm sure.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [singing] I'm a good-hearted husband, I'm generous and kind, no wife could have a life as free of cares! So when a good-hearted husband has been bit, it's only right, that his wife should share the agony he bears! What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? I want my wife to share my life, what's wrong with that? [walks away] Cordelia!
John Lawless: [to the audience] Well, now, that answers a whole slew o' questions, don't it?
Angie Duke: [singing] Are we dancing, are we really here? Is this feeling something real, or will it disappear? Are we dancing, does the music soar? Was this lovely song I hear, ever heard before? Are your eyes confessing things I alone can see? Or is my imagination flying away with me? Are we dancing? Say, we really are! Then I'll know that I, reached into the sky, I reached into the sky, and touched a star!
[looking at the alligator bite on Mr. Biddle's finger]
Miss Cordelia Biddle: What were you doing shaving at this hour of the day?
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: I haven't been shaving! And since when do I shave my finger?
Miss Cordelia Biddle: Well, you don't shave your ear either, but last week, you cut it.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: That's different, the ear is in the general vicinity of the face!
Miss Cordelia Biddle: Well, so's the finger when you're shaving!
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: It's a *bite*, blast it!
Miss Cordelia Biddle: No!
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Yes!
Miss Cordelia Biddle: Who?
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: George! Turned on me just like that, after all these years!
Angie Duke: Cordy, you and I are going to elope!
Mrs. Duke: Over my dead body!
Angie Duke: Only if absolutely necessary, Mother.
[Mr. Biddle has challenged the visiting Marines to a boxing match]
Aunt Mary Drexel: It looks as though Anthony might learn an interesting lesson this evening. I'm half tempted to go out there and watch.
Miss Cordelia Biddle: Aunt Mary! You forget that Anthony has boxed with Champions.
Aunt Mary Drexel: But they were friends, Cordelia, and professionals. These men are not friends, and there is nothing so dangerous as the inspired amateur.

Taglines

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  • It's the happiest musical of the year!
  • So Big!... So Romantic!... So Full of Life!

Cast

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Wikipedia
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