The Man with Two Brains

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The Man with Two Brains is a 1983 comedy film about a brain surgeon who tries to end his unhappy marriage to spend more time with a disembodied brain.

Directed by Carl Reiner. Written by Steve Martin, Carl Reiner, and George Gipe.
So funny you'll laugh your head off.taglines

Dr. Hfuhruhurr

  • [Grabbing an expensive vase during a marital spat] Our marriage lies broken on the floor, like the shards of glass on our honeymoon suite! [He slams the vase to the ground, but it bounces back up into his hands.] Ahhh! Oh-ho! 19th-Century Indian rubber vase, eh?!
  • [After Dolores finally consummates her marriage to Dr. Hfuhruhurr…] I never knew it could be like that! [sighs] So… so… professional!


[A recurring scene in the operating room…]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Metzenbaum scissors!
Nurse: Metzenbaum scissors!
[A cat meows.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Get that cat out of here!

[Dr. Brandon is arguing with Dr. Hfuhruhurr about his performing the operation on Dolores.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: But there's only one other person I'd trust to perform this operation — Beckerman!
Dr. Brandon: Well Dr. Beckerman was murdered in Europe! You know that!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Exactly! Not only is he dead, he's six thousand miles away!

Dr. Hfuhruhurr: The only time we doctors should accept death is when it's caused by our own incompetence!
Dr. Necessiter: Nonsense! If the murder of twelve innocent people can help save one human life, it will have been worth it!

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is rowing with Anne's enjarred brain, complete with sunhat and sunglasses, along an idyllic creek.]
Anne Uumellmahaye: I don't think there's a girl floating in any jar anywhere who's as happy as I am! Oh, Michael, you do so much for me, and I do nothing for you!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Are you out of your head? [pauses] Sorry, I forgot.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr removes Anne's brain from the oven Dolores tried to bake her in. He tries to cool her off in the sink.]
Anne Uumellmahaye: I… I think I'm alright.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Count to ten!
Anne Uumellmahaye: 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… [pause] 10.
[Dr. Hfuhruhurr turns to Dolores in a rage.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: You! You cooked her nines!

[As the police try to stop the experiment…]
Inspector: You are playing God!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: SOMEBODY has to!

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is arguing with Delores.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: [Exasperated] Dolores, I am making a citizen's divorce.
Dolores: [laughing] What?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: By the powers vested in me, I hereby declare our marriage null and void! E pluribus unum!


  • So funny you'll laugh your head off.
  • DANGER: HEALTH WARNING: Watching This Movie May Cause Severe Brain Damage
  • Steve Martin Is A World Famous Surgeon. He Invented Screw Top, Zip Lock Brain Surgery. Trust Him.


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