The Muppet Christmas Carol

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The Muppet Christmas Carol is a 1992 musical comedy film adaptation of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, starring Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge, directed by Brian Henson, produced by Jim Henson Productions, and released by Walt Disney Pictures. It is the fourth of a series of live action musical feature films starring The Muppets, and the first produced after the sudden death of Muppets creator Jim Henson and fellow puppeteer Richard Hunt. Although it is a comedic remake with contemporary songs, it otherwise follows Dickens' original story closely.

The film was dedicated to the memory of Jim Henson and Richard Hunt, two original Muppet performers, who died before the film's release. The movie follows as Rizzo the rat does not know the spirit of Christmas however his friends the past the present and the future who are disguised by the Muppets, teach Rizzo how to live the life of Christmas.

Dialogue[edit]

Gonzo: Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

Gonzo: [narrating as "Mr. Dickens"] Night was falling, and the lamplighters were plying their trade. And by the way I don't think I never see Scrooge act like- [accidentally lights Rizzo's tail]
Rizzo the Rat: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, light the lamp, not the rat, LIGHT THE LAMP, NOT THE RAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT ME OUT!
Gonzo: Oh! My apologies! Um... [suddenly spotting a barrel of water below the lamp post] Rizzo!
Rizzo the Rat: WHAT?!
["Mr. Dickens" pushes Rizzo so he falls into the water barrel]

Scrooge: One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money lenders.
Bob Cratchet: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder. And the bookkeeping staff would like to have an extra shovel-full of coal for the fire.
Bookkeeper 1: We can't do the bookkeeping.
Bookkeeper 1: All of our pens have turned to inkcicles!
Bookkeeper 3: Our assets are frozen!
Scrooge: And how would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?!
Bookkeepers: HEAT WAVE! [Singing] This the island in the sun...
' Scrooge: quit on singing! [grabs a stick and starts whipping the bookkeepers] STOP! [he begins whipping them again] STOP!

[while Scrooge whips the bookkeepers, Gonzo comes into Scrooge's workplace with a frozen Rizzo and he cracks the ice on a barrel]

Rizzo: [panting] oh great. That was freezing cold in there! I was drowning and I was like "please swim rizzo please swim"!, and then I turned into an ice cube like geez can you give this rat a break?!
Gonzo: be quiet Rizzo! I can't focus in here while there's all of the yelping and shouting and arguing.
Rizzo: oh yeah yeah I got the point. Never give this rat a break when you're just GRUMPY AND SAY BAH HUMBUG ON CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!!

Bob Cratchet: Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, but it appears to be closing time.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Very well. I'll see you at 8 tomorrow morning.
Bob Cratchet: Um, tomorrow's Christmas.
Ebenezer Scrooge: 8:30, then.
Bob Cratchet: If you please, sir, half an hour off hardly seems customary for Christmas Day.
Ebenezer Scrooge: And how much time is customary, Mr. Cratchet?
Bob Cratchet: Well, the, uh, whole day.
Ebenezer Scrooge: The entire day?
Bob Cratchet: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, why open the business tomorrow? Other business will be closed; you'll have no one to do business with. It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire.
Ebenezer Scrooge: It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th. But as I seem to be the only one around who knows that... take the day off.

Ghost of Christmas Past: Let us see another Christmas in this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge: They were all very much the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past: You changed.

Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!

Pepezziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!
Pepezziwig: Oh, pay no attention to them. My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
Robert Marley: It was dumb!
Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
Robert Marley: It was pointless!
Jacob Marley: It was... short!
[turns to Robert]
Jacob and Robert Marley: I loved it!

[Fozzy shows Scrooge Tiny Tim's grave]

Scrooge: no it can't be! Tell me these moments can yet be changed!
Fozzy: you left Kermit with nothing at all!
Scrooge: I didn't mean to make them poor. I just wanted to be happy[ to be rich... and all of the memories that he had with Tiny Tim! Please tell me that I might change!

[Fozzy doesn't listen and they watch The Muppets mourn]

Kermit: goodbye Tiny Tim.
Gonzo: whatever you are, I will miss you.
Piggy: [crying] who always ate his supper, I will miss you.
Jacob and Robert Marley: whoever hugged us and gave us smooches, we will miss you forevermore.
Scrooge: please! please! please! I am so sorry Kermit! I never knew that Tiny Tim died and he was a good son! I will change my ways and never be greedy for gold! Please spirit! I will change! I will change! I will change!
Fozzy: [grabs Scrooge's hand and they fly off to another grave] This is your doom.
Scrooge: is this my grave? [:Fozzy: yep that is your grave] NOOO!! THIS CAN'T BE TRUE!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! I WILL CHANGE MY WAYS!!!! [Fozzy pushes him into the grave prompting him to hang onto a tree root] HELP!!! NO! NO! NO! [the coffin opens the fires to hell] NO!!! NO NOOO!!! PLEASE!! LET ME OUT!! GET ME OUT!!! [Scrooge attempts to climb out of the grave, but the tree root snaps and Scrooge plummets into the coffin] HELP! I WILL CHANGE!!!!

[Just then Scrooge opens his eyes finding himself back in his own bedroom]

[last lines]

Gonzo: I guess that's the story how Scrooge became a good man.
Rizzo: I love it!

Cast[edit]

Performers[edit]

External links[edit]