The Muppet Christmas Carol

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Muppet Christmas Carol is a 1992 musical comedy film adaptation of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, starring Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge, directed by Brian Henson, produced by Jim Henson Productions, and released by Walt Disney Pictures. It is the fourth of a series of live action musical feature films starring The Muppets, and the first produced after the sudden death of Muppets creator Jim Henson and fellow puppeteer Richard Hunt. Although it is a comedic remake with contemporary songs, it otherwise follows Dickens' original story closely.

The film was dedicated to the memory of Jim Henson and Richard Hunt, two original Muppet performers, who died before the film's release. The movie follows as Rizzo the rat does not know the spirit of Christmas however his friends the past the present and the future who are disguised by the Muppets, teach Rizzo how to live the life of Christmas.

Dialogue[edit]

Gonzo: Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

Gonzo: [narrating as "Mr. Dickens"] Night was falling, and the lamplighters were plying their trade. [accidentally lights Rizzo's tail]
Rizzo the Rat: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, light the lamp, not the rat, LIGHT THE LAMP, NOT THE RAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT ME OUT!
Gonzo: Oh! My apologies! Um... [suddenly spotting a barrel of water below the lamp post] Rizzo!
Rizzo the Rat: WHAT?!
["Mr. Dickens" pushes Rizzo so he falls into the water barrel]

Scrooge: One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money lenders.
Bob Cratchet: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder. And the bookkeeping staff would like to have an extra shovel-full of coal for the fire.
Bookkeeper 1: We can't do the bookkeeping.
Bookkeeper 1: All of our pens have turned to inkcicles!
Bookkeeper 3: Our assets are frozen!
Scrooge: And how would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?!
Bookkeepers: HEAT WAVE! [Singing] This the island in the sun...

Bob Cratchet: Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, but it appears to be closing time.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Very well. I'll see you at 8 tomorrow morning.
Bob Cratchet: Um, tomorrow's Christmas.
Ebenezer Scrooge: 8:30, then.
Bob Cratchet: If you please, sir, half an hour off hardly seems customary for Christmas Day.
Ebenezer Scrooge: And how much time is customary, Mr. Cratchet?
Bob Cratchet: Well, the, uh, whole day.
Ebenezer Scrooge: The entire day?
Bob Cratchet: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, why open the business tomorrow? Other business will be closed; you'll have no one to do business with. It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire.
Ebenezer Scrooge: It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th. But as I seem to be the only one around who knows that... take the day off.

Ghost of Christmas Past: Let us see another Christmas in this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge: They were all very much the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past: You changed.

Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!

Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!
Fozziwig: Oh, pay no attention to them. My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
Robert Marley: It was dumb!
Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
Robert Marley: It was pointless!
Jacob Marley: It was... short!
[turns to Robert]
Jacob and Robert Marley: I loved it! Rizzo the rat is busy sleeping in his house let me hear nothing there? Bad rat humbug! However a shadow Falls over his bed Rizzo: what do you want? Voice booming rizzo takes off his bed sheets. I'm asking you one more question!!! However the ghost turned out to be the past past: please young rat come with me! Or you must have a lump of coal! Rizzo: you meant I'm going to fall if I land on the window? No silly thing yelling: COME WITH ME NOW!!! Sorry I'm just here mr. Past sorry very good. Now we must visit your past! Rizzo: but I'm not going out there I'll fall! It's okay remember not too tight. Hang on! Wow what a view! )Landing( here we are! I never seen so many people there's Christmas trees presents and that's me yes that was when you were an old man inspired by greed and look there's lovely Piggy! Mister rat may you marry me? It's like warm berries under a bush and I'm staring behind the mistletoe of course! Pitting and padding feet Dance on the wooden floor Let's Dance! Okay Rizzo! Dancing lovely music stopping and now the man is not inspired by greed and he is- that's me! Music started mr. Fozzie feather wig plays his violin Miss Piggy gives mr. Rat a kiss music ending I was personally lovely I was in love with her suddenly, the lights go dark the people the presents and the Christmas tree are gone where is me? and where is lovely Piggy? Wind whooshing the snowflakes turn to raindrops and now, You Loved something else the snow it turned into a wooden floor coin dinging oop! it's time 191 192 199 124 120- mister rat, for years I had this honeymoon Cottage on my own I was keeping your promise to marry me! Now I must know: have you made your decision? I have hearts gleaming your last visit is 7 minutes late I prepare to love my coins money and nickels even more giving her a poster I like money even more than you why how rude I'm going! Okay get back to Counting 121 100,000 124 as lovely piggy leaves, Rizzo and the past look heartbroken oh dear I cannot bear these memories take me home remember Rizzo you must change the past yourself Rizzo: I'll go home and think about it for a moment goodbye Rizzo the past disappears Rizzo walks all the way home.

Cast[edit]

Performers[edit]

External links[edit]