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The Pacifier is a 2005 comedy film featuring Vin Diesel and Lauren Graham. The film tells the story of Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe who is assigned to protect five children from enemies of their scientist father who was recently deceased.
Prepare for bottle.(taglines)
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- Land! Solid land!!
- Shane Wolfe: [first lines] Atten-hut! Here's our man. Professor Howard Plummer. He's been kidnapped by a group of Serbian rebels. Yeah, I know we've been up for 72 hours, but I expect perfection. Nothing else. They enemy has a boat, 4 jet skis and a chopper.
- Scott: Yo, fool, handle me like that again and I'll be forced to lay knuckles upside your head.
- Zoe: Okay! Enough is enough! Come on, Scott. Let's go. Come on.
- Shane Wolfe: [pulls Scott back] No, you don't. Get back here. Give me 20. [Scott pulls out his wallet to give Shane $20] I meant push-ups!
- Scott: Zoe?
- Shane Wolfe: Drop down! Do 20! [Scott does push-ups]
- Seth: What are you doing?
- Shane Wolfe: You're burning daylight! Move!
- Seth: It's Sunday. And it's 6:00 am! You're insane!
- Shane Wolfe: Remain calm
- Helga: I am calm. I quit! That makes me calm.
- Shane Wolfe: Let's not be hasty about this.
- Shane Wolfe: (Blocking Helga’s way.) Just hang... Let's calm down. Just... just try to relax. (Helga screams as she runs and tackles him, but with Shane spinning her around and letting her go.) Ah! Ah! She bit me! (Helga running to the taxi while Shane running after her.) Red Leader! I command you to come back here! That's a direct order! You can't leave a man behind! (Taxi then drove Helga away from him) Red leader! Red leader!
- Lulu: Do you know kung-fu?
- Shane Wolfe: Yes.
- Lulu: Have you ever punch a guy so hard his head came off?
- Shane Wolfe: No.
- Lulu: Why are your boobs so big?
- Shane Wolfe: [shocked] They are not... boobs.
- Lulu: Do you have to wear a bra? Will mine be as big as yours one day?
- Shane Wolfe: You know what, little girl? I think it's time you went nappy-poo in beddy-bye land.
- Lulu: Do I look like I'm five to you?
- Shane Wolfe: What did I say?
- Lulu: Disrespectful. And to think I was interested in you.
- Helga: [to Shane] Tell me, are you licenses to kill?
- Shane Wolfe: ...No, ma'am.
- Helga: Hmm. Too bad. It could have come in handy.
- Lulu Plummer: Shane! You can't do this! Yon can't leave a man behind!
- Seth Plummer: Hold on, I got it.
- [open bottle with milk awake Shane]
- Zoe and Lulu Plummer: Shane!
- Zoe Plummmer: Where's Mom?
- Shane Wolfe': Mom? I'll find her. You guys run and get help! [kids running in the Julie's car.] Hurry!
- Lulu Plummer: Are you sure you're gonna be okay?
- Shane Wolfe: Yes, Lulu. Go, get help.
- Zoe Plummer: Oh, my God! What do we do?
- Seth Plummer: Find a cop!
- Zoe Plummer: He's gaining on us.
- Seth Plummer: I'll handle it.
- Bill Fawcett: Any last words, Shane?
- Shane Wolfe: Say good night, Peter Panda.
- [The safe opens up, and knocks Bill on the head and knocked him to the floor.]
- Julie Plummer: Shane, are you okay? [Julie punches Mrs. Chun the face] She was never a good neighbor.
- Seth Plummer: Zoe, you're going too fast! You're not gonna have time to stop!
- Zoe Plummer: Who said anything about stopping? I'm parking.
- Shane Wolfe: Gary, now!
- [Gary eats Mr. Chun in the crotch and screaming. Claire kicks the back patch, roll on his back again and feet with his neck.]
- Claire Fletcher: Couldn't let you have all the fun.
- Claire Fletcher: Looks like you have a hit on your hands.
- Shane Wolfe: You think so?
- Claire Fletcher: Mm-hmm. You should take over the drama department instead of the wrestling team. [She and Shane chuckle] It's gonna be nice having you around now. Now that Murney's found his true calling.
- Murney: [singing] Climb every mountain/Ford every stream
- Shane Wolfe: It's gonna be my pleasure serving with you.
- [He and Claire share a kiss]
- Welcome to the infantry.
- This Navy S.E.A.L. Meets His Match.
- Prepare for bottle.
- Prepare for bottle. Prepare for battle.
- Shane Wolfe (winner) vs Bill Fawcett (loser)
- Julie Plummer (winner) vs Mrs. Chun (loser)
- Claire Fletcher (winner) vs Mr. Chun (loser)
- Vin Diesel as Lieutenant Shane Wolfe
- Lauren Graham as Claire Fletcher
- Faith Ford as Julie Plummer
- Brittany Snow as Zoe Plummer
- Max Thieriot as Seth Plummer
- Chris Potter as Captain Bill Fawcett
- Morgan York as Lulu Plummer
- Scott Thompson as the director of a local production of The Sound of Music
- Carol Kane as Helga Popescu
- Brad Garrett as Vice Principal Dwayne Murney
- Keegan and Logan Hoover as Peter Plummer
- Bo and Luke Vink as Baby Tyler Plummer
- Tate Donovan as Howard Plummer
- Dennis Akayama as Mr. Chun
- Mung-Ling Tsui as Mrs. Chun