Eugene: Well, the jury takes a whiff of this, a whiff of that, gets kind of a hunch for the truth. They're going to smell your client, smell ours, smell you, smell me. Kind of like scratch and sniff litigation.
Pearson: That wasn't a negotiation, it's a gift. I was throwing you a bone.
Lindsay: It's just that, um...well...I was looking for a bigger bone.
Leonard Goode: If Gerald Braun came to you before, and said, "Oh, by the way, I'm going to kill Ronald Martin", I hardly think you'd give him your moral blessing.
Rabbi Winter: Well, you would be wrong, Mr. Goode. Because Dr. Braun did come to me, and I did give him my blessing.
Bobby: Waive reading, your honor. Plead not guilty.
Bobby: Your honor, Dr. Braun cannot be considered a flight risk, Judge. He's a health risk, goes about shooting people in the head.
Dr. Gerald Braun: But I'm not a victim anymore. I'm not. I shot him. I shot him and I watched his neck explode. And then I heard him gurgle. And it was joyous. He suffered, and I thank God above he had time to know why he was dying. Today I'm at peace.
Judge: Something tells me I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning feeling sick about this, but for now, I'm going to accept Ms. McGuire's recommendation, conditioned on marriage counseling to begin immediately.
[Melanie slightly groans.]
Judge: You may not like it, young lady, but believe it or not, fourteen-year-olds still have things to learn.
Melanie: I'm not groaning about that, your honor. I think my water just broke.
Judge: Adjourned. Go, go, go, go!
Social Worker: Forget the 'takes a village' crap. The village is out of order. The child needs parents.
Dr. Braun: You come into this room, wearing your Yarmulke, to send a message to that jury that you condemn me as a Jew.
Silverman: No, Dr. Braun. I condemn you as a murderer.
Bobby: Am I to understand that instead of accepting two hundred thousand, you settled on one forty, plus hospital care?
Bobby: You realize that we can't take a contingency on a girl's smile? If you had settled on two on a straight cash deal, this firm would have made an extra sixteen thousand dollars. You do know that.
Jimmy: It crossed my mind.
Bobby: Jimmy, you said you don't know what this place is. What you just did, I'd like to think that's, exactly what this place is. Good job.
[Garson moves his hand under Susan's mouth, and Susan bites him]
Jimmy: Move to strike!
Tripp: Yeah, but I still think that if we put in that I had a girlfriend, it would have made me look loving and caring.
Lindsay: Well, we were limited by the fact that you don't have a girlfriend, Kenny.
Tripp: Yeah, but if we had put it in, I would have got one.
Ellenor: What exactly do you think our reputation is here, Bobby? I mean, who are you kidding? We are "reasonable doubt for a reasonable fee". We are a bottom-feeding-do-whatever-you-can-to-get-your-client-off law firm. That is exactly what we are. And what Lindsay and I did may not have been ethical, it was completely in the spirit and the tradition of Bobby Donnell.
Judge Hiller: [to Bobby] Things don't happen in a vacuum, Bobby. I mean, maybe you have some inner compass that gives you clear directions, I don't really know. But if others try to take direction from you, I have no doubt but they'll be lost.
Judge Hiller: Your associates talked to a juror. They were wrong. Judge Stevens was right.
Mr. Holt: Oh, please, that kind of discrimination goes on all the time. The only difference here is, I admit it. Harry is a negative guy who looks like an ape. And I don't want him working for my company. There's a juror over there, I won't say which one who looks like a possum. I wouldn't hire him either.
Judge McGough: I'm terribly sorry, but I think it's time for another break.
Jimmy: I tell ya, I was nervous. I think the defendant blew it though when he called one of the jurors a possum. You can't predict how things are going to go, but insinuating that one of the jurors is a member of the rodent family is not an accepted tactic.
Papp: Is it a good sign that they came back this quick?
Jimmy: It's a very good sign if we win, but not if we lose.
Papp: That was helpful.
Jimmy: Objection! That's a legal conclusion.
Judge McGough: No, it isn't. But I'll sustain the objection anyway.
Jimmy: On what grounds?
Judge McGough: I just ruled in your favor, counsel.
Lindsay: I know myself, Rebecca. I'm not capable of good sex.
Lindsay: She is. But, but that doesn't mean you should sleep with her.
Bobby: I'm not gonna sleep with her! I'm just gonna put on a Simba mask and go to a party.
Lindsay: And don't think for a second she won't be Nala.
Bobby: Excuse me?
Bobby: You know, you're putting yourself in a soup being seen with me.
Helen: I like soup. The hotter, the better.
Bobby: I'll try to remember that.
Jimmy: [To Lindsay] Anyway, uh, I'm between relationships. And, uh, just as friends, nothing more, I thought you might want to go [to the Halloween party]. [whispers] I promise not to dream about it after.
Bobby: Eugene, you claim I don't understand. I'll accept that, I will. I don't understand what it's like to be subjected...over and over and over again. I'll accept I'll never get that. But you know a man did die here, and the "I've had it" theory as a defense to manslaughter, I'll never understand that either.
Eugene: Just a legal strategy. You got yours and...I got mine.
Bobby: Yeah. But yours came from the heart.
Ellenor: You know what, I'm going to need a little time alone with my client. Do you mind?
Blumenfeld: That's fine.
[Kramer exits the office]
Ellenor: [To Blumenfeld] And I apologize, because I know this now means you have to be alone with yours.
Blumenfeld: Thank you.
Myra: You know what, Ellenor? Probably the only long-term sexual relationship you've ever had has been with your left hand. It was a mistake to come here. Goodbye.
[Ellenor punches Myra, knocking her to the ground]
Ellenor: Never insult the left!
Eugene: Until you've been yanked out of your car, until you've been searched because of how you look, until you see the look of fear in somebody else's eyes staring back at you simply because you're black...until that kind of thing happens to you over, and over, and over, and over, and over, you can't know.
Bobby: I'm not sure it's a smart idea making it about race. Wellesley, all white jury.
Helen: I think it's a perfect jury to make it about race. Rich, affluent, white town. These are the people that are desperate to reach out to minorities, so long as they don't have to meet one.
Jimmy: I'm only saying this cause guys like me, and there's a lot of them, we're never going to get the girl of our dreams. Never going to come close. So, the dream itself becomes kind of important. To turn on a TV or go to a movie and pretend the girl is somebody you might be with, that's as good as it gets.
D.A.: Objection to the speech.
Oz: Speech? [Laughs] If council had heard me before, he'd know that was no speech.
D.A.: What I do know is that this is not the Raymond Oz show here.
Oz: It could be, if you'd stop interrupting, young fella.
Eugene: You said that God has those kids. That tells me you believe in God. You got to be afraid of what the Almighty has in store for you. He's vengeful. Let's not forget that. Those little boys got parents. Let them bury their kids.
Father Patrick: Well, this is quite a day. First I kill somebody, then I lie. What a wonderful priest I am.
Jimmy: Ellenor, tell them this is something that's done. Lawyers can't be too proud these days.
Ellenor: I don't believe in lawyers advertising, Jimmy.
Jimmy: You advertised for a date.
Ellenor: Yeah, well, I don't believe in that anymore, either.
Eugene: Dr. Walsh, though I represent Mr. Parks I will give you a free tip: if this ever ends up in court you don't want to be saying things like you hope to find a big, green tumor the size of a softball.
Eugene: I mean, I want off. One rape a week is my limit.
Judge Nelson: I see. Well, you've dropped a bomb on my desk. There's absolutely no chance of me ruling on this ex parte. I'm going to notify the attorney general's office so I can hear oral arguments from both sides.
Jimmy: In wide open court?
Judge Nelson: Yes, council, wide open court. That's the way I like to do it.
[A Baptist choir sings in Bobby's office]
Martha: You hear them? Every note is dead on. We're good!
Bobby: Very good, but...
Martha: So, we have a case. They can't reject us just because we're Christian. It's against the law. First amendment!
Bobby: It's a synagogue, Ms. Burl. They can reject you on Christianity.
[At the wedding ceremony between his mom and another woman]
Jimmy: What do I call her? Do I have to call her mom? Dad?
Mary Beth: Michelle will be fine. Are you OK?
Jimmy: I'm fine. But I don't want to hear nothing about the honeymoon.
Bobby: [addressing the judge] My only defense here is legal. I'm a criminal defense attorney. I represent bad people. The adversary system is premised on the defense attorney doing whatever he can to get the guy off. It's drummed into us, we are bound by the limits of the law, but only the law. Morality. Right or wrong. Justice. If a criminal lawyer starts asking himself "What's the just result here" "How should we get to there", he's lost. It's not a noble excuse. But a legal one.
Judge Walsh: [To Jimmy] One of the problems with the proliferation of law schools, night schools, part time schools, salons, come-get-a-shampoo, earn-a-law-degree-while-you-wait-for-your hair-to-dry, we over flood the market with attorneys. Who, because of the competition have to go out and create litigation just so they can scratch a living. I hate it. And you're a poster boy for the problem.
Silverman: So, the defendant knew about the raid.
Helen: I'd answer, but the defense is about to object.
Bobby: Lindsay, I agree at some point maybe we should tell her. But could you please allow me to put a little distance between me and these multiple murder charges before we do that?
Lindsay: Are you really ready to throw someone you love away for a case?
Bobby: Yes. I got this case because somebody at a high-rise blue chip law firm recommended me. As the best. I've been practicing law in that rat hole for ten years, looking out the window, seeing those lawyers look down on me. And now one of them came into my office and said I'm the best. I like how I got this case, Lindsay. I like that I'm gonna try it in the media and that I'm gonna get paid a lot to do it and I'm gonna win it. [with glistening eyes] I'm gonna win it.
Judge Hiller: Well, I'm not going to force either one of you off. What I'm going to do is leave you alone in this office, in the hope that one of you might be occasion to see straight. Don't eat all of my candy.
Helen: Bobby, this doesn't have to affect you and me. It's a trial. But the only way it's not going to affect us is to admit right now and be clear about it. In this room we're enemies.
Cloudy with a Chance of Membranes (2) [2.20]
Lorraine Marks: No she wasn't ranting. She was calm and collected and she very clearly said that it was that man who was threatening her.
Ellenor: [to Jimmy, about the rat running in their office] Why don't you do something, big head?
Jimmy: It's normal size!
Lindsay: [to Bobby] It means I might say that you're dysfunctional. Your father has worked his whole life as a janitor in a big law firm. It made you want to be a lawyer, it also made you hate them, for the way that they treated him. I mean, look at you. Fancy suits in a rat infested office? As you try to get ahead you fight yourself at the same time and it hurts everybody here. One on one I was afraid I might say that.
Bobby: If that's the way you feel, why do you stay?
Lindsay: Because my best friends work here. I don't wanna leave. And I'm in love with you. [Bobby looks up at her in utter surprise] I say that with no hope of you loving me back - I don't even think I want it. But I don't know, I mean, maybe as a result of my loving you I also see you, and I know with you in charge and only you in charge, this firm is maxed out. And you might be, too.
Richard Bay: "There are heroes in this world. They’re called district attorneys. They don’t get to have clients – people who smile at them at the end of the trial; who look them in the eye and say thank you. Nobody’s there to appreciate the district attorney because we work for the state. And our gratitude comes only from knowing there’s a tide out there. A tide the size of a tsunami coming out of a bottomless cesspool. A tide called crime which if left unchecked will rob every American of his freedom. A tide which strips individuals of the privilege of being able to walk down a dark street or to take $20 out of an ATM machine without fear of being mugged. All Congress does is talk. It’s the district attorney who grabs his sword, who digs into the trenches and fights the fight; who dogs justice day after day after day without thanks; without so much as a simple pat on the back. But we do it. We do it. We do it because we are the crusaders. The last frontier of American justice. Knowing that if a man cannot feel safe, he can never, never, feel free."
Lindsay: Don’t “here we go” me! If you “here we go” me one more time I am going to scream, okay? Do you hear me?
Bobby: Listen to yourself!
Lindsay: Ooh, and I hate that one too. Listen to yourself. “Here we go” and “Listen to yourself”. If you ever say those in our marriage, I will scream!! Okay? It’s good to know these things before we become husband and wife. You know, this is very, very healthy!
[Lindsay storms out.]
Lucy:[to Bobby, smiling]Well. It’s nice to know you can make her scream.
[Bobby and Lindsay are getting their marriage license.]
Clerk:[to Lindsay]Oh, your initials are LSD. Isn’t that funny?
Bobby: Lindsay, I’ve only had two dreams my whole life. One was to pitch for the Red Sox, the other was to meet and marry the most wonderful woman in the whole world. One for two isn’t bad. Now, if I could just get you to take a little medication for your mood swings... [touches her face]