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The Santa Clause

From Wikiquote

The Santa Clause is a 1994 American fantasy-drama comedy film starring Tim Allen about Scott Clavin accidentally causing Santa Claus to fall from his roof on Christmas Eve. When he and his young son Charlie finish the legendary St. Nick's trip and deliveries, they go to the North Pole, where Scott learns he must become the new Santa.

Directed by John Pasquin. Written by Karey Kirkpatrick and Leo Benvenuti & Steve Rudnick.
Scott Calvin must become Santa. No ifs or ands...Just one big butt.

Dialogue

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Charlie: Neil doesn't believe in Santa.
Scott: Well, Neil's head comes to a point.
Charlie: He's smart. He's a doctor.
Scott: He's not a doctor; he's a psychiatrist.
Laura: All Neil told him was that Santa was more of a feeling. More of a state of mind than an actual person.
Scott: Kind of like Neil. And who gave you permission to tell Charlie there is no Santa Claus?
Charlie: You know, Neil's a real good cook.
Scott: Yeah, and you should see him walk on water.
Charlie: You don't like him very much, do you, Dad?
Scott: Charlie, yeah, I was joking. Okay? I'm sorry. I like him a - Yeah, sure I like him. You know, there’s something about him that makes me want to--
Charlie: Lash out irrationally?
Scott: Where did you hear that?
Charlie: From Neil. I learn a lot from him; he listens to me.
Scott: Yeah, and then he charges you for it.
Scott: Hey, Barabbas.
Bernard: Bernard!
Scott: Bernard. Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Bernard: The Santa Clause: "In putting on the suit and entering the sleigh, the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, real or implied, and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Claus in perpetuity until such time that wearer becomes unable to do so by either accident or design."
Scott: What does that mean?
Bernard: It means you put on the suit, you're the big guy.
Scott: That's ridiculous; I didn't put on a suit just to-
Bernard: [angrily] Try to understand this!
Elves: [shocked] Ooh!
Bernard: [chuckles in embarrassment] Let me explain something to you, okay? Toys have to be delivered. I'm not going to do it. It's not my job. I'm just an elf. It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off the roof; your roof. You read the card, put on the suit, that clearly falls under the Santa Clause, so now you're Santa. Okay?
Bernard: Look, you put the "P" next to the kids who are nice, and a "C" next to the naughty ones.
Scott: "P" and "C"?
Charlie: Yeah. "P" for present, "C" for coal. Right, Bernard?
Bernard: Right.
Scott: Wait a minute, how do I know who's good and bad?
Bernard: You'll know.
Scott: What if I don't want to do this?
Bernard: [in a stern tone] Don't even kid about a thing like that!
Scott: Why not? What if I don't buy in to this Santa Clause thing? What if I choose not to believe it?
[Dead silence falls over the workshop]
Bernard: Then there would be millions of disappointed children around the world. You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas within their hearts. You wouldn't want to be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas now, would you... Santa?

Cast

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