The Simpsons Hit & Run

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For other uses of "The Simpsons", see The Simpsons (disambiguation).

The Simpsons Hit & Run is a video game based on the animated TV series The Simpsons. In the game, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge and Apu make their way through various levels on a quest to save Springfield. (For the PC, PS2, Xbox and GameCube)

Homer[edit]

  • Get outta my way, jerkass!
  • And people say I'm slow. Wait a minute! That was an insult!
  • Let's do this thang!
  • Ooh, I'm soaring like a candy wrapper in an updraft!
  • Homer hates losing! Homer SMASH!
  • Learn to drive, ya dumbass!
  • WOOHOO! All right!
  • I'm a lean, mean...speed thingy!
  • As soon as I'm done scratching myself, you're history!
  • [Homer notices a security camera at his workstation] How can I sleep with that camera? Ooh, sexy girls could be watching me on the Internet!
  • Let's see, I need something to board up the windows. I know! Boards!
  • [chanting] I am Evil Homer! I am Evil Homer!
  • [chanting] I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.
  • [In mocking tone, after smashing up a computer box] If you're so smart, how come I broke you?
  • Damn it, I dropped my kebab!
  • Just call me Air Homer!
  • Almost done, now I just gotta find Flanders' stupid photo of his stupid family.

[when calling for a ride at a phone booth]

  • I need your help. My car is uhh...sleeping.
  • Can you come and get me, I'll pay you in back rubs.
  • Can you come and get me? I'll pay you in back rubs.
  • CAN YOU COME AND GET ME?! I'LL PAY YOU IN BACK RUBS!

[when getting into a vehicle]:

  • Let's roll!
  • I love to sit.
  • Hey, I found my lost nachos.
  • Well, it's about time!

[after kicking someone]:

  • I keep making God madder and madder.
  • Why you little...
  • Grrr.
  • Hi-yaah!
  • Yaah!
  • An older boy told me to do it.
  • Outta my way chump!
  • Don't worry that should heal fast.

[after hitting something]:

  • Uh, it was like that when I got here.
  • Bart did it.
  • Please don't sue!
  • I have no insurance!
  • Okay, that's a lawsuit!
  • Doh!

[After he collects a "Fix" icon]:

  • Oh, I wanted a peanut!
  • Where am I gonna put all these?
  • You mean I'm not gonna get more?

[When landing hard or crashing]:

  • Watch it, I almost spilled my sundae!
  • Aww, I swallowed my gum!
  • Wow, this car sure can take a beating!
  • Aww, now I have a wedgie!
  • Ow, my neck!
  • Ow, my ass!
  • Ow, my head!
  • Ooh, I think I broke something.
  • Damnit, I dropped my kebab!
  • Oh, the vibration's tickling my feet.

[When being chased by the police]:

  • The important thing is I'm not imagining these guys.
  • Aw, another one?
  • Chase King Homer if you dare!

[When leaving a vehicle]:

  • Walk? That wasn't part of the deal!
  • Aww, I wish I had a dog with a saddle.
  • Oh yeah, stretch the legs and the crotch!
  • Oh, I forgot my mission.

[When pressing a button]:

  • Thingy goes up!
  • Woohoo, I love senselessly pushing things!
  • What's this do?
  • Oh, I hope do not press means press right away!

[When he is the driver and you try to get in on his side]:

  • Hee-hee, you're dumber than me!
  • What part of "get in" don't you understand?
  • [In his "whisper"] That's the wrong side!
  • That door is locked and I'm too lazy to open it.

[When panting from running too long]:

  • Ouch! My bikini zone's chafing!
  • Whoa, I need a disco-nap!
  • CHEST PAINS! ENEMY CHEST PAINS!
  • MUST...NEVER...RUN...AGAIN!

[When his car is destroyed]

  • OK that's a lawsuit.
  • Why me?!
  • I feel bad about myself.
  • That was so painful!

[When he falls into water or off the ledge]

  • Homer go boom!
  • Save me, Jebus!
  • Save me, Duffman!
  • AAAAH!

[When winning a race]

  • [chanting] Two, four, six, eight! You suck! I'm great! La-da-da-da! You I hate!
  • [chanting] Two, four, six, eight! You suck! I'm great! La-da-da-da! You are..the..one..I hate!

Bart[edit]

  • Perfection, thy name, is Bart!
  • Careful, I bruised easily.
  • Ow, my skull, my beautiful skull!
  • Whoa, wicked!
  • Woo! Nice One!
  • Oww, my coccyx!
  • My ribs cost nine-hundred dollars!
  • Eat asphalt, asphalt eater! (WARNING: This is very easy to confuse 'asphalt' with 'ass'.)
  • Eat my dust, dust eaters.
  • Ugh, my ovaries!
  • Lousy laws of physics!
  • Oh man, this sucks!
  • Bingo!
  • Oh yeah baby bring it on!
  • Don't have a cow, man!
  • Hey, slower traffic to the right, please!
  • All right!
  • I am the king!
  • Oh, this is too cool for school!
  • Oh man, that sucks AND blows!
  • Jump to light speed!
  • Damn automatic transmission!
  • My butt hurts!
  • (groaning) I just know I'm gonna be blamed for this.
  • My dad will pay for all the damages.
  • I'm flying! Temporarily flying!
  • [gasps] I was this close!
  • This is sucks, I'm out of here.
  • I fought the law and I won!
  • Lisa Did It!
  • Fine By Me!
  • Finally! My years of Ballet are paying off!
  • Time to lay some rubber-down.
  • You Cheated! Cheater!
  • What's my name? Booyah!
  • Don't forget to write!
  • Yeah! I totally Rule!
  • It's time for some road rage: Bart Simpson Style!

[when calling for a ride at a phone booth]

  • Breaker breaker, this is Bart Simpson, requesting one pimp ride, A.S.A.P.
  • Yo, lift, now...please?
  • Attention cars, 10 year old hitchhiker needs a ride!

[when getting into a vehicle]:

  • Lets Roll!
  • It's Bart Time!

[after hitting something]:

  • That was totally awesome!
  • I didn't do it.

[after kicking someone]:

  • Take That!

[After he collects a "Fix" icon]:

  • Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie!

[When landing hard or crashing]:

  • D'oh!
  • Oh, not the detailing!

[When leaving a vehicle]:

  • Awesome man, that was the best ride ever!
  • That was the coolest!

[When panting from running too long]:

  • If I didn't play so many video games, I'd be in better shape.
  • Energy...depleting...need, sugar.
  • Just gimmie a sec... to catch my breath.
  • So tired...so very tired...

[When he fails a mission]

  • I just glad I'm not in school.

[When winning a race]

  • Aww! Loser!

[After winning a race]

  • Give it up for America's Bad Boy!
  • And the crowd goes Wild!

[When he picks up a Buzz Card]

  • This must be worth a Fortune!
  • Collecting these is much better than learning!
  • It's like a game, within a game!
  • Must... collect.... more
  • Sweet!

Lisa[edit]

  • Speed, glorious speed!
  • Time to move!
  • I go girl!
  • (picking up a "FIX" icon) I hope these are recyclable.
  • I hope those were recyclable!
  • Easy as Pie! The number that is.
  • Please don't sue.
  • Don't think I won't sue!
  • All for Lisa!
  • Oh no!
  • Kid Power!
  • Hello Springfield!
  • Take that, Gravity!
  • Let's just do this thing!
  • You've got no chance buddy!
  • Hey! I'm just a little Girl!
  • Lisa Simpson at your service.

[when getting into a vehicle]:

  • Time for more Gameplay

[after hitting something]:

  • I hope Bart gets blamed for that!

[When being chased by the police]:

  • Sorry! Sorry!

[When winning a race]

  • I love being in the lead!

[When losing a race]

  • Dissapointed!

[After winning a race]

  • Yay, I won, I won, I won!

Marge[edit]

  • Where to next, video game?
  • Ice your wounds!
  • Is this gonna affect my insurance?
  • Now I wish I had insurance.
  • Move it or lose it, buster!
  • What are you thinking?!
  • Why do you keep hitting everything?
  • Are you blind?
  • Oh my.
  • Send the bill to Homer.
  • Eh, i'll clean that up later.
  • No time for caution!
  • Did I win? I had no idea!
  • Marge in charge!
  • I won? I'm sorry.
  • OH MY GOODNESS!
  • Now where do I go?
  • Ow! My tushie! Whoo!
  • Oh, that looked expensive.
  • Oh, I hope I don't have to pay for that.
  • (when collecting a "fix" icon) I don't have any pockets!
  • Slow and steady wins the race!
  • Sexy mommy needs a ride
  • I'm not very good at this.
  • Having three kids, really slows you down.

Apu[edit]

  • Hopefully my store will not be robbed more than four times while I am driving around today.
  • I must admit. The smell of fresh air is much more pleasing than the odor of the hot dog machine.
  • I better hurry. Last time I left the store, vandals put pornography in the bridal magazines.
  • Ah!... I smashed my skull!
  • Move it whitey!
  • I am a lean, mean, vindaloo machine!
  • Come to papa, random object!
  • This is just between me and you, random object.
  • Ha! Cleanup in aisle one!
  • Shiva smiles on such behavior.
  • Move it cracker!
  • Jiminy Crickets!
  • Thank you for coming! I'll see you in Hell!

Grandpa[edit]

  • Hope you like old man smell!
  • Now my story begins in nineteen dickety two. We had to say dickety, cause the keizer had stolen the word twenty.
  • Get out of my way, every minute might be my last!
  • Ow, my middle skull!
  • Oh, i'm going to heaven!
  • Move it, i'm not dead yet!
  • There's my pelvis!
  • Look where you're goin', ya idiot!
  • I smell toast!
  • (At Santa's Little Helper's bowl) Ah a leprechaun.
  • (To Maggie) Do you know where my family lives?
  • I'm lost? Aaaaaaah!
  • Oh, did I do something wrong?
  • Hop in junior, times are wasting.(snores)
  • Hot Dickety!
  • Back in my day we called Sandwiches Flat Bready, it cost four playing cards a bite.

Lenny[edit]

[When being hit by a vehicle]:

  • Look out!
  • Hey, watch where you're goin'!
  • Ow, I dropped my bear claw!
  • Aaahhh! More pain for Lenny!
  • MY EYE!
  • Who'd do this to a war hero?!
  • Why God? WHY?!

Snake Jailbird[edit]

(after damaging objects)

  • Oooh, mindless Destruction!

(after crashing into a vehicle)

  • Oooh, like a No!
  • Dude, You better not have scratched my car!

(after nearly running over a citizen)

  • like out of my way walking dude?

(after crashing into a wall)

  • Oooh like, Ow!!

Others[edit]

Mayor Quimby: I think I speak for all Springfielders when I say, where is the sexy footage?
Professor Frink: I love the pull of gravity in the morning. Smells like GLO-HOYVIN-MIC!
Professor Frink: [When going in the car on his side] No, that's the wrong- you silly- you're a foolish person.
Nelson: [when getting hit by a vehicle] You suck! Ha ha!
Kodos: I like it!
Krusty: (Referring to "Buzz Cola") It will give you the get up and go, you need to do all the pathetic things you have to do!

Conversations[edit]

Marge: Homie, Lisa left for school without her science project. Can you get it to her?
Homer: Oh, do I have to?
Marge: You can drop it off on the way to work.
Homer: And I have to go to work?!

Homer: Marge, that black van is spying on us.
Marge: Oh, Homie! You're so sexy when you're paranoid.

Homer: Hey, Apu, give me a cola and I need another bucket of ice cream with mini pies.
Apu: What happened to the ice cream with mini pies your wife bought this morning?
Homer: I probably ate it. I don't remember stuff too good.

Chief Wiggum: Uh, sorry little girl, I'm busy collecting evidence on Jailbird. We're busting him on the "three strikes law".
Lisa: How many strikes do you have so far?
Chief Wiggum: Er...no strikes. But that's only because I'm a very, very bad cop.

Bart: Apu, you gotta warn Krusty about this alien plot, and thus saving the good people of Springfield.
Apu: I'm sorry sir, but I cannot speak English. I can only speak Hindy.
Bart: But you're speaking English now!
Apu: Uh, yes, I learned these words phonetically.
Bart: Well you're just scared of being vaporized by the space monsters.
Apu: Up-down, up-down, uh go hot dog, butter my undershirts, blah blah blah...

Snake: Wow, imagine, me getting car-jacked, what a total switcheroo.
Homer: Just go.
Snake: What will you do if I don't?
Homer: Flip you the bird!
Snake: Okay, okay, don't get freaky, get in!

Lisa: Dad, I'm really proud of you for rescuing us all from that alien invasion.
Homer: Did that really happen? I thought it was a bad dream after eating too many raw hotdogs.
Marge: No, Homie. You're the town hero!
Homer: Sweet! And the ninja babysitters? Was that real or a hotdog dream?
Lisa: Hotdog dream.

Marge: Homie, you're late for work! And today's your workplace evaluation with Mr. Smithers!
Homer: Ahhh! He'll find my scorpion farm, then where will my scorpions live? Only one person can help me - Lenny!

Lenny: Hey Homer, how about a breakfast churro?
Homer: No time! Tell me where to find Mr. Smithers!
Lenny: Ah I think I saw him at the Kwik-E-Mart. More breakfast churros for Lenny!

Mr. Smithers: Ahh! My convertible! I just waxed an undercoat.
Homer: That's what you get for expecting me to do the job for which I am paid!

Bart: Otto man, I need a ride!
Otto: No can do little dude, I gotta round up all these other little dudes and get them to Krustylu for the studio tour!
Bart: But that's where I need to go. Step on it Otto!
Otto: Okay, right after I drop these kids off to Krustylu.
Bart: Otto, I just said that.
Otto: All right, stop hassling me, midget Abraham Lincoln.

Homer: Barney, can I borrow the Plow King?
Barney: Take what you want, sexy leprechaun! Just don't shoot me with that dart gun!
Homer: Whatever.

Lisa: Thanks for bringing my model of the digestive system. Hey, where's the gall bladder?
Homer: I got hungry and... it was a fig.
Lisa: It was modelling clay!
Homer: Ohh!

Bart: I need your truck Homer.
Homer: Why should I give you that?
Bart: Because I love you.
Homer: (Laughs) Pay up Sucker!
Bart: You're charging your own son?
Homer: Yeah, guess I am.

Apu: Mr. Homer sir, do you have an over-sized vehicle that I might be borrowing
Homer: Borrowing? No! Selling to you at an insanely high price, yes!
Apu: Fine, whatever.

Homer: Uh, you know that cooler I gave you for your birthday? Well Flanders wants it back
Barney: Now what will I use for a toilet?

Moe: Sorry Bart. I can't serve booze to a minor, it ain't right.
Bart: I'm here about the fireworks?
Moe: Oh hell yeah, hah!

Kang: I'm going to introduce the cola into the water supply! People will go mad!
Kodos: I like it!
Kang: Then we distribute laser guns at the squidport tourist area!
Kodos: I like it!
Kang: The cola-madden humans will go beserk!
Kodos: I like it!
Kang: Destroying themselves and their town!
Kodos: Delivering big, big space ratings for foolish earthlings!

(Both Laugh evilly)


Homer: Remember when I told you I sold my old car, so you can go to college?
Bart: Yeah?
Homer: It was a lie!

Male Adult Pedestrian[edit]

  • "Watch it buddy!"
  • "You can't touch me there. Nothing gives you that right."
  • "Takes more than that to kill me!"
  • "That does it, I'm moving to Shelbyville."
  • "This is the worst town in America!"
  • "How'd you like a newspaper upside your head?!"
  • "Off The Road and Onto the Sidewalk!"
  • "It's a sad day for generic characters everywhere."
  • "Thanks a lot Mr. Break My Legs!"
  • "Can't an honest man go for a walk any more?"
  • "Hey... Eyes on the road, jerk!"
  • "Wah?"
  • "How's about getting off the road!"
  • "Spines don't bend that way!"
  • "This town is full of idiots!"
  • "Goodbye, cruel world."

Female Adult Pedestrian[edit]

  • "Not again."
  • "Ugh! Why is this happening?!"
  • "Slow down!"
  • "You almost hit a person."
  • "I am so sick of this happening!"
  • "This is a REALLY bad day."
  • "You better run."
  • "I need a sick day."
  • "I'm scared and disoriented!"
  • "This is one weird place!"
  • "You haven't seen the last of me!"
  • "I'm not afraid to die!"
  • "Think of the children!"

Links[edit]

The Simpsons