The Story of Us
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Can a marriage survive 15 years of marriage?
- Love is just lust in disguise, and lust fades, so you damn well better be with someone who can stand you.
- Marriage is the Jack Kevorkian of romance.
- Is it physically impossible to French-kiss a man who leaves the new roll of toilet paper resting on top of the empty cardboard roll? Does he not see it? DOES HE NOT *SEE* IT?
- Oh, Dot. Put out once in a while, your face won't be so tight.
- And you can take that bread and shove it up the tops of your legs!
- Rachel: You were our Fred and Ethel Mertz!
- Katie: Funny, we thought you were OUR Fred and Ethel Mertz.
- Katie: I want to go to Chow Funs.
- Ben: I thought we agreed we couldn't really talk at Chow Funs.
- Katie: I know.
- Ben: Are you saying Chow Funs because you can't face telling the kids? Because if that's why you're saying Chow Funs, don't say Chow Funs.
- Katie: That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs. Funs, I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us. There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight. You know, in Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy or somewhere back there, there are cities built on top of other cities. But I don't want to build another city, I like this city. I know where we keep the bactine and what kind of mood you're in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher, and you always know that I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly, that's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be. But there's more good than bad, and you don't just give up! And it's not for the sake of the children. But God, they're great kids, aren't they? I mean, God. And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and then they grew, and I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands, or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial, then I'll try to relax. Let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I'm no day at the beach, but do I have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which is not a criticism of yours, it's just a strength of mine. And God, you're a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlotte's Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilbur the Pig with such commitment even when you're bone tired. That speaks volumes about character! And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down to? What a person's made of? Because that girl in the pith helmet is still in here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until I met you and I'm afraid if you leave, I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, yin and yang. The best of times, the worst of times! I think Dickens said it best, it's the Jack Sprat of it 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean'. But that doesn't really apply here. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs, because I love you.
- Ben: I love you, too.
- Bruce Willis - Ben Jordan
- Michelle Pfeiffer -Katie Jordan
- Rita Wilson - Rachel Krogan
- Rob Reiner - Stan Krogan
- Julia Hagerty - Liza
- Tim Matheson - Marty
- Lucy Webb - Joanie Kirby
- Bill Kirchenbauer - Andy Kirby
- Red Buttons - Arnie Jordan
- Jayne Meadows - Dot
- Tom Poston - Harry
- Betty White -Lillian Jordan