The Super Mario Bros. Movie

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search


The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a 2023 American 3D computer-animated surreal comedy-adventure film produced by Nintendo and Illumination. Based on the video game franchise of the same name, the plot follows Mario and Luigi, two Italian-American plumber brothers who are transported to an alternate world and become entangled in a battle between the Mushroom Kingdom, led by Princess Peach, and the Koopas, led by Bowser.

Directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic. Written by Matthew Fogel.

Mario[edit]

  • Let's-a go.
  • Mamma mia!
  • I'm not afraid. I'd do anything for my brother. [trailer-only line]
  • Make fun of me all you want, but you're gonna help me find my brother!
  • [to Luigi] I'm telling you, nothing can harm us as long as we're together!
  • Mushroom Kingdom, here we come! [trailer-only line]

Luigi[edit]

  • That is not a commercial. That. Is. Cinema.
  • Mario, we got one! THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS ARE IN BUSINESS!
  • You just got... a-Luigi'd!
  • [to Bowser] Do you think I know every human being with a mustache wearing an identical outfit with a hat with the letter of his first name on it?! Because I don't.
  • [shielding Mario from Bowser's fire breath] Nothing can hurt us as long as we're together.

Peach[edit]

  • I will not let him hurt you. We are going to stop Bowser.
  • [meeting Mario for the first time] Are you...? [gasps] HE'S A HUMAN! I mean, you ARE a human, right? It's just you're so small.
  • They're all counting on us. No pressure.
  • Thinking about your brother? [Mario: We've never been apart this long.] Don't worry. We're going to save him.
  • Without your help, the Mushroom Kingdom will be annihilated.
  • There's a huge universe out there. With a lot of galaxies.
  • Pretty incredible, huh? [Mario: Mamma Mia!] I'll never let anyone ruin this.
  • To the Mushroom Kingdom and the biggest fight of our lives! Here... we... go!
  • Bowser is coming.
  • [To Bowser after he gives his marriage proposal to her] I'd never marry a monster!

Bowser[edit]

  • [trailer only] I finally found it. Now WHO'S GONNA STOP ME?!?!
  • Open the gates...or die!
  • [confident chuckle] I finally found it, and now NO ONE CAN STOP MEEEEE!!!'
  • Not sure if you know who I am, but I'm about to marry a princess and rule the world. [Luigi: Wow. Uh, yay...] But there's one problem, Luigi. There's a human traveling with my fiancé; has a mustache, just like you. Do you know him?
  • [after incinerating a Koopa with his fire breath and turning him into Dry Bones when asked what happens when Peach rejects his marriage proposal] THEN I WILL POWER UP WITH THE STAR, AND DESTROY THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM! Prepare yourselves for the best wedding ever! IT'S GONNA ROCK!
  • GET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT!! We'll see how tough this Mario is when he watches me KILL HIS BROTHER!!!
  • My army! Koopas, Goombas, whatever those things are! After years of searching for the Super Star, IT IS FINALLY OURS! I AM NOW THE MOST POWERFUL TURTLE IN THE WORLD! Soon we will arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom, where after years of being sworn enemies, I will ask their princess to marry me IN A FAIRY TALE WEDDING!
  • [to Kamek] I know that, I'm not threatened.
  • Goodbye, Mario.
  • Let's end this. [trailer-only line]
  • LAUNCH THE BOMBER BILL AND DESTROY THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!!!
  • YOU RUINED MY WEDDING!! I WAS FINALLY GONNA BE HAPPY!!! NOW YOU WILL SUFFER, LIKE MEEEE!!!!
  • You really thought you could stop ME?! YOU WORTHLESS, WEAK LITTLE NOTHING! COME OUT AND FIGHT! Or are you too scared?!
  • [practicing flirting with Peach] I guess love really makes a guy come out of his shell.
  • RIP THEM TO PIECES!

Toad[edit]

  • DO NOT TOUCH THAT MUSHROOM, YOU'LL DIE! Oh! I'm sorry... [chuckles] That one's perfectly fine.
  • Come on, Mario! Our big adventure begins now!
  • Excuse me, everybody! Coming through! This guy's brother is going to die imminently! Out of the way, please! [to an appalled Mario] Just trying to clear a path, that's all I'm doing. He's gonna be fine.
  • Just pop in this pipe and we'll be on our way. It's the only way to fly, man.
  • Your brother has landed in the Darklands. They're under Bowser's control.
  • I fear nothing.
  • [Mario: That gorilla's wearing a sports coat.] Feel underdressed?

Donkey Kong (D.K.)[edit]

  • It is on... like Donkey Kong!
  • HA! You got the Cat box! [laughing] Oh my - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. Now you die.
  • [while Mario flirts with Peach on Rainbow Road] Dude, is this you flirting? This is painful!
  • Mario... You saved my life! [Mario: Yeah, well, I won't tell anyone.] Good! Please don't!
  • [Mario: You wanna do this?] Yes, I do!
  • Yes! Fire!
  • This is fun!
  • Cool raccoon suit! [Mario: Really?] Not at all!

Lumalee[edit]

  • There's no escape. The only hope is the sweet relief of death!
  • Now, that is a happy ending. Or is it? Because everything is over now, and all that's left is you and the infinite void... Kinda makes you wanna play saxophone, huh? [plays the "Super Mario Bros." theme on a saxophone, segueing into the credits]

Dialogue[edit]

Foreman Spike: Well, well, well, if it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers.
[The brothers march to Spike's seat, annoyed]
Luigi: [sarcastically] Oh, great. Spike's here.
Mario: Hey, Spike.
Spike: Yeah. [mockingly] "It's-a me!" [laughs] Ooh, yeah. [seriously] Tell me, have you even gotten one call since you two have left me to start your dumb company?
Luigi: As a matter of fact, Spike, we have. [raises and points at his phone]
Mario: Wow. Really?
Luigi: Uh, yeah. Our mom called, and she said, "Oh, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen!" And I said, "Thank you very much, mother, we're very proud of it." So, boom! [slams his phone, cracking the screen]
Spike: [laughs] Good luck running a business with this idiot. [throws a balled-up napkin at Luigi]
Mario: [catches the balled-up napkin; in tranquil fury] Say that again about my brother, and you're gonna regret it. [throws ball back at Spike's head]
Spike: Oh, yeah? [grabs Mario by the overall] Get this through your tiny brain, Mario: You're a joke, and you always will be. [throws Mario on the ground, leaves the money on the table, and walks out of the building]
Luigi: Are you insane? He's three times than your size.
Mario: Luigi, c'mon. Y'know, you can't be scared all the time.
Luigi: Mmm, you'd be surprised.

[In Peach's Castle, the Toad Council holds a meeting following Bowser's attack on the Snow Kingdom.]
Toad General: Council, your attention. Bowser has found the Super Star and is headed toward our kingdom. Its power will make him invincible. We will be destroyed.
[The Toads gasp]
Yellow Council Toad: Princess, what are we gonna do?!
Peach: [rising from her throne] I will not let him hurt you. We are going to stop Bowser!
Yellow Council Toad: How?! Look at us. [he and the others make puppy-dog eyes] We're adorable!
Peach: I'm going to convince the Great Kong Army to help us. Together, we'll annihilate that monster!
Toad General: Their mad king doesn't make alliances! The Kongs will never agree!
Peach: I can convince him. I'll leave for the Jungle Kingdom in the morning. [leaves]
Toad General: Good luck, Princess. For all our sakes.

[After Mario semi-successfully completes the training course]
Peach: Well, we have a long journey ahead of us, mustache.
Mario: But I didn't make it.
Peach: You almost did. No one gets it right away.
Mario: How many tries did it take you?
Peach: [her eyes widen] Oh, so many. I was not good at it. Worse than you. [flashes a guilty grin]
Mario: [not buying it] You got it right away, didn't you?
Peach: I got it right away, but I grew up here.
Mario: Okay, now you're just trying to make me feel better.
Peach: No. No. [pause] Is it working?
Mario: A little bit, yeah.

[Bowser is playing on a large grand piano, obsessing about Peach]
Bowser: [singing] Peach... you're so cool... And with my Star, we're gonna rule. Peach, understand: I'm gonna love you 'til the very end! Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, I LOVE YOU, OHHH! Peaches! Peaches!
[Kamek teleports onto the podium behind Bowser]
Kamek: Sire..
Bowser: [irate] What?
Kamek: A report from our intelligence. A mustachioed human has arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom.
[Bowser gives a deep and angry huff, causing Kamek to briefly straighten himself up in shock]
Kamek: The Princess has been training him. They are up to something sire!
Bowser: Sit. Jam with me.
[Kamek sits on the bench next to Bowser, who is playing the Underground theme. Kamek is playing the coin sound]
Bowser: This... uh, human. Where did he come from?
Kamek: We.. aren't sure?
Bowser: Does the princess like him?
Kamek: [confidently] Sire, look in the mirror! You have nothing to worry about!
Bowser: I know that. I'm not threatened.
[Bowser gets up from the bench and slams the fallboard of his piano onto Kamek's fingers, making him howl in agony]
Bowser: [at last infuriated] FIND OUT WHO HE IS, AND WHAT THEY'RE PLANNING!!!
[Bowser thumps his left fist onto his piano and strides away and off the podium]
Kamek: I'm on it, sire. May I lift the cover?
Bowser: [sadistically] Not yet. Pain is the best teacher.
[Kamek groans in displeasure]

Mario: You don't seem like you're from here.
Fire Peach: I don't know where I'm from.
Mario: Really?
Fire Peach: Yep. My earliest memory is arriving. [flashback to Baby Peach entering the Mushroom Kingdom pipe and meeting the Toads] I was so lucky they found me. [as Peach grows up, shots of her fishing Cheep Cheeps and training with the Toads are shown] They took me in and raised me like one of their own. And when I was ready... [cut to Peach being coronated as the Toads cheer for her] they made me their princess.
[Flashback ends]
Mario: And maybe you're from my world.
Fire Peach: [looking up at the sky] There's a huge universe out there...with a lot of galaxies.

Bowser: What is your name?
Luigi: Uh,... Luigi.
Bowser: Not sure if you know who I am, but I'm about to marry a princess and rule the world.
Luigi: [smiles nervously] Wow. Uh, yay.
Bowser: But there's one problem, Luigi. There's a human traveling with my fiancé; has a mustache, just like you. Do you know him?
Luigi: No. No!
Bowser: Ah, tough one, I see. Maybe this'll get you to talk. [pulls at a strand of Luigi's mustache with his claws]
Luigi: Do you think I know every human being with a mustache wearing an identical outfit with a hat with the letter of his first name on it?! Because I don't!
[Bowser impatiently plucks the strand off, then plucks at more of Luigi's mustache]
Bowser: Do you know him?!
Luigi: Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop, stop! I know him! Yes, I know him! Yeah, he's my brother, Mario, and he's the best guy in the world!
Bowser: Do princesses find him attractive?!
Luigi: They do if they have good taste!
[Bowser rips part of Luigi's mustache, making him scream; Bowser tosses him to the ground]
Bowser: GET HIM OUTTA MY SIGHT!! We'll see how tough this Mario is when he watches me KILL HIS BROTHER!!

[Donkey Kong enters The Great Ring of Kong; he dances to the DK Rap from "Donkey Kong 64", with the crowd cheering wildly]
Donkey Kong: [raps along] I'm D.K.! I'm Donkey Kong!
Young Kong: Yeah! We love you!
Donkey Kong: Oh, yeah! [waves at his father] Hi, Dad! Hi!
Cranky Kong: No. No! Don't do that!
Donkey Kong: [continues dancing] Dad, wave back!
Cranky Kong: Enough with the showboating!
Donkey Kong: Whattaya mean?! They like it! It's what they came here for! Dancin' pecs! [flexes his pecs]
Cranky Kong: [to crowd] Okay, simmer down! [the crowd still cheers] I said, "Simmer down!" [the crowd stops cheering, and the song stops, but Diddy Kong still chants "D.K.!"] That means you, Diddy Kong!
Diddy Kong: D.-- [stops chanting and sits down] Sorry.
Cranky Kong: Now, since I want this fight to last more than five seconds, I put power-ups around the arena. You're welcome, Mario!
Donkey Kong: [smugly turns to Mario] I don't anything special to break every bone in your tiny body!

Mario: [after defeating Donkey Kong] Had enough?
Donkey Kong: [weakly] Not... even... close.
[he almost falls off the platform, until Mario grabs him by his tie]
Mario: I'll take that as a "Yes."
[Donkey Kong falls forward, and Mario jumps on him; the Kongs in the crowd cheer and chant "Mario!"]
Toad: YES! That's my best friend!

Donkey Kong: So, this is the end; being slowly digested by an eel next to an idiot in overalls.
Mario: Well, at least your brother isn't gonna die because of you.
Donkey Kong: [crossing his eyes] At least you're not gonna die with your dad thinking you're a joke.
Mario: [sullen] Yeah, well, my dad thinks I'm a joke, too.
Donkey Kong: [sadly] Yeah? Well... [angrily] Your dad's right!
Mario: You know what? I feel bad enough. Just- just leave me alone.
Donkey Kong: I've never met your dad, but he sounds "brilliant".
Mario: Just go in a corner and smash some stuff, smash monkey!
Donkey Kong: [angrily throwing things and slamming his fists] I...AM...MORE...THAN A GUY...WHO SMASHES THINGS!

[Peach walks up to the altar where Bowser is waiting for her. She gasps in shock at what she sees: Luigi, Cranky Kong, and Bowser's other caged prisoners being carried forward by a mechanism above lava below]
Bowser: I'll be sacrificing them in your honor. [Peach stares at Bowser in disbelief and shock] Lower the prisoners!
[The mechanism lowers]
Kamek: [officiating the wedding] Dearly belove-- [Peach suddenly sucker-punches him]
[The congregation gasps]
Bowser: Huh?! [glares at Peach]
Dry Bones: [sing-song tone] Drama.
Peach: You really thought I'd marry you?
Bowser: [beat] Kinda.
Peach: I'd never marry a monster. [powers up with an Ice Flower and transforms into Ice Peach]
Bowser: [enraged] THEN WE ARE BREAKING UP RIGHT NOW!!

Mario and Luigi's mother: Ah, my boys! My heroes! [kisses Mario and Luigi on the cheeks]
Mario and Luigi's father: WAHOOOO! Mario, you were amazing! [laughs happily]
Mario: [genuinely pleased] Thanks, Dad.
DK: Aw, bring it in! [pulls everyone for a group hug]
[They then turn to see Brooklyn's populace applauding them for saving the day, including Spike, Francis, and the rest of Mario and Luigi's family]
Spike: LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS!
[Citizens continue to cheer in approval]
Mario and Luigi's father: THESE ARE MY BOYS!
Giuseppe: Wahoo!

Toad Guard: Hey, quiet in there! Lights out, little guy.
Bowser: HEY! YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM BOW- [door slams shut] [sighs]

Cast[edit]

External Links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: