The Venture Bros. (season 5)

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The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of The Venture Bros.

What Color is Your Cleansuit?[edit]

Dean: I've been listening to this stupid learning bed my whole life, and you know what? I haven't learned shit! I could tell you how many taste buds are on the human tongue, but I've never even French-kissed a girl!

(Doctor Venture addresses his new interns)
Dr. Venture: You have been chosen because you are the best students in the physics department at your university. You are the best of the best.
Offscreen Intern: I'm majoring in sports medicine!
Dr. Venture:'ve been chosen because I accepted every application.

S.P.H.I.N.X Rising[edit]

(Gary - formerly Henchmen #21 - accidentally breaks up an O.S.I undercover operation.)
Gary: Okay...I wasn't prepared for this, but...freeze! This is SPHINX!
Brock: (from under his costume) Gary!? What are you doing, you idiot?
Shore Leave: (removing his mask) I swear I'm going to reach down your throat, rip out your heart and eat it!
Gary: Shore Leave? You're part of Long Division?
Shore Leave: Yeah, that's it. Brilliant conclusion...
Brock: We're undercover, moron. We were undercover...
Shore Leave: We've been wearing these smelly-ass sweat-soaked masks for a week for nothing.
Brock: Nice move, Chubs. The kid's dead. So's Tom.
Shore Leave: You killed an eight-year-old boy with the corpse of the only person who knew where Long Division's secret base was. Argh! That's so raven!
Brock: Gary, you better shoot me or somethin', 'cause I'm about to kill you.
Gary: I was being a good guy! And you left me S.P.H.I.N.X! What did you expect me to do?
Shore Leave: Honestly, use the hot tub a couple of times. Not run around like a lone wolf fighting crime. That WE are already fighting!
Brock: (taking a crossbow away from Gary) This my crossbow?
Gary: Aw, c'mon! It makes me feel like a wookie.
Brock: No. This is my crossbow.

(Sgt. Hatred sits in the bushes with a rifle. The Monarch's cocoon is in his sights when Gary approaches.)
Sgt. Hatred: Well, look who's coming to save me! It's the entire S.P.H.I.N.X. organization!
Gary: Hey, I'm recruiting now, Grandpa. So bite me.
Sgt. Hatred: Whip the little guy out. I'll go get Doc's microscope.
Gary: I have got a Shai-Hulud down there! There's a damn Paul-Muad'Dib riding this worm, my friend.

(Sgt Hatred and Gary have disabled The Monarch's flying cocoon.)
Gary: Okay, now he's in a panic. He's gonna have to do something, or he'll look like a total douche. So here's where he makes the incredibly stupid decision to...
(Cut to the Monarch...)
(The cocoon opens, dropping the contents of the lunch room on the Venture's lawn.)
Sgt. Hatred: What is that? Patio furniture?
Gary: That is the lunch room.
Sgt. Hatred: There's some metal casings out there. Could be explosives...
Gary: Chafing dishes. It's Wednesday, right?
Sgt. Hatred: Yeah.
Gary: Then they're filled with buffalo wings. And we should totally collect the ones without dirt and lawn chunks on them, 'cause they are awesome! They're really tangy!


(Doctor Venture talks about the Spanakopita festival...)
Dr. Venture: Spanakopita!
Billy Quizboy: The Greek spinach pastry?
Dr. Venture: The Greek festival. Three days of fun in the sun on the most secluded island in Greece - Spanakos! I first discovered it's sultry pleasures as a young boy. You might say I had my first solo adventure there!
Pete White: Ew! Is that a euphemism?
Dr. Venture: Get your mind out of the gutter, White.

(Billy Quizboy is excited to join the Ventures on their trip to Greece. White, however, is reluctant.)
Pete White: "Fun in the sun?" "Sparkling seas?" Do I have to spell it out for you people? I am an albino! This isn't a fashion choice! My body literally hates the sun. On, like, a molecular level!

Pete White: Hey... he's got a Bubo!
Augustus Saint Cloud: (smugly) THE Bubo. Harryhausen is a friend..."

(Dr. Venture drinks, dances and laughs heartily as Billy Quizboy and Pete White look on.)
Pete White: You know, I've known Rusty for like twenty years, and I've never seen him like this.
Billy Quizboy: What, happy? I know! It's kinda creepy...