The Venture Bros. (season 5)

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The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of The Venture Bros.

What Color is Your Cleansuit?[edit]

Dean: I've been listening to this stupid learning bed my whole life, and you know what? I haven't learned (bleep)! I could tell you home many taste buds are on the human tongue, but I've never even french kissed a girl!

(Doctor Venture addresses his new interns)
Dr. Venture: You have been chosen because you are the best students in the physics department at your university. You are the best of the best.
Offscreen Intern: I'm majoring in sports medicine!
Dr. Venture: Okay...you've been chosen because I accepted every application.

S.P.H.I.N.X Rising[edit]

(Gary - formerly Henchmen #21 - accidentally breaks up an O.S.I undercover operation.)
Gary: Okay...I wasn't prepared for this, but...freeze! This is SPHINX!
Brock: (from under his costume) Gary!? What are you doing, you idiot?
Shore Leave: (removing his mask) I swear I'm going to reach down your throat, rip out your heart and eat it!
Gary: Shore Leave? You're part of Long Division?
Shore Leave: Yeah, that's it. Brilliant conclusion...
Brock: We're undercover, moron. We were undercover...
Shore Leave: We've been wearing these smelly-ass sweat-soaked masks for a week for nothing.
Brock: Nice move, Chubs. The kid's dead. So's Tom.
Shore Leave: You killed an eight-year-old boy with the corpse of the only person who knew where Long Division's secret base was. Argh! That's so raven!
Brock: Gary, you better shoot me or somethin', 'cause I'm about to kill you.
Gary: I was being a good guy! And you left me S.P.H.I.N.X! What did you expect me to do?
Shore Leave: Honestly, use the hot tub a couple of times. Not run around like a lone wolf fighting crime. That WE are already fighting!
Brock: (taking a crossbow away from Gary) This my crossbow?
Gary: Aw, c'mon! It makes me feel like a wookie.
Brock: No. This is my crossbow.

(Sgt. Hatred sits in the bushes with a rifle. The Monarch's cocoon is in his sights when Gary approaches.)
Sgt. Hatred: Well, look who's coming to save me! It's the entire S.P.H.I.N.X. organization!
Gary: Hey, I'm recruiting now, Grandpa. So bite me.
Sgt. Hatred: Whip the little guy out. I'll go get Doc's microscope.
Gary: I have got a Shai-Hulud down there! There's a damn Paul-Muad'Dib riding this worm, my friend.

(Sgt Hatred and Gary have disabled The Monarch's flying cocoon.)
Gary: Okay, now he's in a panic. He's gonna have to do something, or he'll look like a total douche. So here's where he makes the incredibly stupid decision to...
(Cut to the Monarch...)
Monarch: JETTISON THE LUNCH ROOM!
(The cocoon opens, dropping the contents of the lunch room on the Venture's lawn.)
Sgt. Hatred: What is that? Patio furniture?
Gary: That is the lunch room.
Sgt. Hatred: There's some metal casings out there. Could be explosives...
Gary: Chafing dishes. It's Wednesday, right?
Sgt. Hatred: Yeah.
Gary: Then they're filled with buffalo wings. And we should totally collect the ones without dirt and lawn chunks on them, 'cause they are awesome! They're really tangy!

Spanakopita![edit]

(Doctor Venture talks about the Spanakopita festival...)
Dr. Venture: Spanakopita!
Billy Quizboy: The Greek spinach pastry?
Dr. Venture: The Greek festival. Three days of fun in the sun on the most secluded island in Greece - Spanakos! I first discovered it's sultry pleasures as a young boy. You might say I had my first solo adventure there!
Pete White: Ew! Is that a euphemism?
Dr. Venture: Get your mind out of the gutter, White.

(Billy Quizboy is excited to join the Ventures on their trip to Greece. White, however, is reluctant.)
Pete White: "Fun in the sun?" "Sparkling seas?" Do I have to spell it out for you people? I am an albino! This isn't a fashion choice! My body literally hates the sun. On, like, a molecular level!

Pete White: Hey... he's got a Bubo!
Augustus Saint Cloud: (smugly) THE Bubo. Harryhausen is a friend..."

(Dr. Venture drinks, dances and laughs heartily as Billy Quizboy and Pete White look on.)
Pete White: You know, I've known Rusty for like twenty years, and I've never seen him like this.
Billy Quizboy: What, happy? I know! It's kinda creepy...