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- Pigs have uniforms, I think we should have uniforms too. Gotta match those fuckers on every level.
- Neighborhood watch. What a fucking joke!
- Jamarcus: I have this one scenario in my mind. I kinda hope it plays out like this: young, sexy, Asian housewife, alone at night, frightened. A noise out by the trash cans. Best call the neighbourhood watch. I show up, look heroic, and then... get this - she sucks my balls.
- Franklin: I'm also interested in that happening to me.
- Jamarcus: [about the uniforms] Can I just say, Bob, that these are the shits?
- Franklin: Just "the shit."
- Jamarcus: These are just shit.
- Evan: [Looking at green gunge] Wait a second. I've seen this stuff before.
- Franklin: Had you just won a Kids' choice award?
- Ben Stiller as Evan Trautwig
- Vince Vaughn as Bob McAllister
- Jonah Hill as Franklin
- Richard Ayoade as Jamarcus
- R. Lee Ermey as Manfred Salisbury