J.D.: So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.
Thelma: Well, Daryl, that's my husband.
Thelma: Yeah, he says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.
Louise: He's got a lot to be proud of.
Thelma: Louise and him don't get along.
Louise: That's putting it mildly.
Thelma: She thinks he's a pig.
Louise: I KNOW he's a pig.
Louise: You get what you settle for.
J.D.: [referring to Daryl] Who's that?
Slocum: That's Mrs. Dickinson's husband.
J.D.: Well, shit twice and fall back in.
Thelma: You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya?
J.D.: Well I may be an outlaw, darlin', but you're the one stealing my heart.
Louise: Get off her or I'm gonna splatter your brains all over this nice car.
Harlan: [Getting off of Thelma] Easy, we're just having a little fun.
Louise: Sounds like you got a real fucked up idea of fun. Turn around. In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!
Harlan: Bitch! I shoulda gone ahead and fucked her!
Louise: Why did you say?
Harlan: I said suck my cock.
[Louise shoots him]
Thelma: Hey Louise, better slow down, I'll just die if we get caught over a speeding ticket. Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?
Louise: No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and the scene of our last God damned crime!
[Thelma laughs and screams]
Thelma: Oh man! You wouldn'ta believed it, it was like I was doing it all my life, nobody woulda believed it.
Louise: Think you found your calling?
Thelma: May-be... may-be. [gets up in her seat] The call of the wild!
Max: You know, the one thing I can't figure out, are these girls real smart or real real lucky?
Hal Slocumb: Don't matter. Brains'll only get you so far and luck always runs out.
Thelma: Good morning everybody, this is a robbery. Now if nobody loses their head, nobody will lose their head. Simon says everybody lay down on the floor, right away, right away, except you sir. You'll have a story to tell your friends, that or a tag on your toe, it's your decision. Now you take this bag and empty the cash register into it.
Store clerk: Yes ma'am.
Thelma: Let's see who wins a prize for keeping their cool. Now you sir, lay back down, thank you. Hey, throw in a couple bottles of Wild Turkey while you're at it.
Store clerk: Sure ma'am.
Thelma: Thank you, now everybody just stay down on the floor until I leave, thank you for your cooperation and have a good day.
Thelma: I know it's crazy, but I just feel like I got a knack for this shit.
Louise: I believe you do.
Louise: Should've gone to the police in the beginning, why didn't I?
Thelma: You said why before.
Louise: What'd I say?
Thelma: That nobody would believe us. You know that jerk was really hurting me, and if you hadn't come along when you had he would've hurt me even worse. And probably nothing would've been done with him because I was dancing with him all night and everybody saw it and they'd figure I had it coming. My life would've been ruined a whole lot more than it is now, now I'm having fun. I'll tell you something else, I'm not the least bit sorry that creep is dead, I'm just sorry it was you who did it and not me.
Thelma: You awake?
Louise: Guess you could call it that, my eyes are open.
Thelma: I'm awake too. I feel awake.
Thelma: I feel really awake. I don't recall ever feeling this awake. You know? Everything looks different now. You feel like that? You feel like you got something to live for now?
Louise: We'll be drinking margaritas by the sea, mamacita.
Thelma: You know we could change our names.
Louise: To live in a hacienda.
Thelma: I want to get a job, I'll work at Club Med.
Louise: Yeah, what kind of deal is that cop going to have to come up with to top that?
Thelma: Have to be pretty good.
Louise: Have to be pretty damn good.
Thelma: [with a cliff in front of them and cops behind them] OK, then listen; let's not get caught.