Thumb Wars
Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle is a 1999 film about thumbs dressed up as puppets to create a spoof of the space drama Star Wars with characters such as Loke Groundrunner (parody of Luke Skywalker), Princess Bunhead (parody of Princess Leia), Oobedoob Scoobydooby Benubi (parody of Obi-Wan Kenobi and possibly Scooby-Doo), Hand Duet (parody of Han Solo), Crunchy (parody of Chewbacca), Beboobeep (parody of R2-D2), Prissypeo (parody of C-3PO) and Black Helmet Man (parody of arch-villain Darth Vader).
- Directed by Steve Oedekerk. Written by Steve Oedekerk
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Black Helmet Man[edit]
- (tripping over a box) Oop! There goes my trick knee.
- Now Loke, you shall learn the truth: I am your mother! [Rips off suit to reveal pink dress] Now Momma's gonna teach you a lesson in manners! [Han Duet shoots Black Helmet Man, saving Loke, and making Black Helmet Man fly off into space] Wait till your Father gets hooooooooome!
Dialogue[edit]
- Black Helmet Man: Do not underestimate the power of the Thumb.
- Thumb Officer: Oh, don't try to scare us with your ooby-dooby magic talk, Helmet Man. Your "I'm a horrifying warlock and I'm going to get you wit my mystic potions!" talk sickens me. I laugh at your "I'm a frightening wizard" threats of hostility. Why don't you gather some frog legs and eyes of a newt, and cojure up a potion that can get you your face back, and perhaps make you one mere ounce less pathetic than you truly are? [Helmet Man starts to choke him] Or not! [Helmet Man pops the Thumb Officer's head off]
- Black Helmet Man: Any other comments?
- British Thumb Officer: I have a question. Why do we speak with British accents when we're from outer space and there is no Britain?
- [Black Helmet Man pops the officer's head off.]
- Loke Groundrunner: Who are you?
- Oobedoob Benubi: I am Oobidoob Benubi, I have the silliest name in the galaxy.
- Loke Groundrunner: What's your middle name?
- Oobedoob Benubi: Scooby-dooby.
- Loke Groundrunner: Oobidoob Scooby-dooby Benubi?
- Oobedoob Benubi: One and the same, and you must be... the crybaby.!
- Princess Bunhead: Help me, Oobedoob Benubi. Oobedoob, oobedoob, oobedooby dooby.
- Loke Groundrunner: Who could've done such a thing as this?
- Oobedoob Benubi: This is the work of Black Helmet Man.
- Loke Groundrunner: Who?
- Oobedoob Benubi: Your father -- I-I mean a man who's farther...a farther away man.
- Loke Groundrunner: Whoever he is, he must be bad. I will go with you and fight.
- Oobedoob Benubi: Oh, big sacrifice; everyone you know is dead. Glad you could tear yourself away.
- Hand Duet: All right, you thumbs, listen up. A one-armed man killed my wife Sabrina, a working girl. And now I'm a fugitive and in clear and present danger. I should be presumed innocent, but they're playing patriot games with me; Raiders, regarding Henry, Blade Runner, Air Force One...
- Loke Groundrunner: I'm sorry, what was that last part?
- Hand Duet: Look, I'm trying to keep a low profile here. I owe Gabba the Butt a lot of money and he's right over there.
- [Right over there]
- Gabba the Butt: Look over there, it's Indiana Ford! Oh ho-ho-ho-ho!
- Loke Groundrunner: I’ve got three fist fighters coming from my left.
- Pilot: Copy, Stray Dog.
- Loke Groundrunner: I-I don’t think I’m Stray Dog.
- Pilot: Copy that, Red Rooster.
- Loke Groundrunner: I-I don’t think I’m Red Rooster either.
- Pilot: No problem, Nasty Butler.
- Loke Groundrunner: I’m ending this transmission.
- Pilot: We got company, Swollen Ostrich.
- Loke Groundrunner: Oh man, it's you.
- Loke Groundrunner: [Fist fighter blows pilot's ship up] Thank you.
- Loke Groundrunner: I'm going to trust my feelings and use the power of the thumb.
- Voice of Oobedoob Benubi: Use the instrument panel, Loke.
- Loke Groundrunner: What?
- Voice of Oobedoob Benubi: The instrument panel. That's what it's there for. Advanced weaponry designed to hit tiny targets.
- Loke Groundrunner: Ok, ok.
Taglines[edit]
- Every Hand Has A Thumb...
- If there were thumbs in space and they got mad at each other there would be... THUMB WARS
Cast[edit]
- Steve Oedekerk - voice of Loke Groundrunner/Beboobeep/Unwise Council Member/The Puppet/Gabba the Butt/Big Toe & Yes Man/Aunt Gonnabiteit
- Andrea Fears - voice of Princess Bunhead
- Ross Schaefer - voice of Hand Duet
- Rob Paulsen - voice of Oobedoob Benubi/Thumbtrooper
- Mark DeCarlo - voice of Black Helmet Man
- Paul Greenberg - voice of Prissypeo
